Every moment there is a continuously changing stream of thoughts, feelings, and reactions happening within each of us. The practice of seeing that stream of activity more objectively, without being carried away by it, is called mindfulness.
      Essentially, mindfulness is the ability to be aware of what we are doing while we are doing it, by purposefully paying attention to both our internal and external experiences, which in turn leads to being fully present in the moment.
      Many people live in a trance-like state, just doing what needs to be done in an automatic fashion without investing much thought or attention to the activity; this is mindlessness. Mindfulness, on the other hand, is a form of conscious living, because it uses effort and discipline to bring our awareness to the activities of the present moment.
      We can cultivate mindfulness by acknowledging this stream of experiences and impartially observing it.  The transformative power of this simple act is in its capacity to help us see reality as it is, not as we would like it to be, and to help us work more skillfully with the truth of the present moment.
      One of the greatest causes of our suffering is our tendency to take our thoughts and feelings too seriously, by clinging to them as if they were a permanent reality. When we let our thoughts and emotions "own us", we then become identified with them and we lose the distinction between our thoughts, our emotions and our very beings.
      When "we own" our thoughts and feelings, we learn to see them for what they really are: a non-permanent experience just passing through. We can then more easily describe our experience as: "I am having the thought that I am not good enough", or "I'm noticing that I feel sadness in my heart".
      With a mindful attitude, we create a space between our experiences of thinking and feeling and our ability to observe.  This provides us with the skills to self-regulate. Self-regulation is the capacity to effectively and consciously manage our internal states. 
      If, on the other hand, we get swept away by our thoughts and emotions, we effectively allow them to "own us", and it lead to such thoughts as "I am not good enough, I am sad".
      The truth is, we are who we are, and we cannot be defined by the stream of thoughts and feelings flowing through us.  We must be able to sit on the bank of the river, watch the water flow and realize that we are not the water.
      The second part of mindfulness is non-judgemental observation. When we first pay attention to the activities of our own mind, we discover how often we generate judgments about the experiences we are having. We label, evaluate, and categorize everything, usually as good or bad, right or wrong. For example, "I can't stand this pain; it means something terrible is happening" or "I don't like the way she said that" are judgemental observations.
      These judgements create emotional and physiological responses in us that make it more difficult to feel calm and peaceful. The mind, like a roller coaster, goes up and down all day affecting our state of well-being, all because of our own judgments, evaluations and interpretations. Learning to recognize this part of ourselves that creates so much suffering for us will help us interrupt the cycle of negativity.  Mindfulness says, "oh! look, here is my judgment" which then allows us to drop it.
      Mindfulness requires that we also suspend criticism of our judgements. In other words, there is no need to judge ourselves for judging!  Rather than saying things like, "oh look, here I go again, I'm so judgmental", we should merely observe, and think "well, isn't this interesting, I'm aware of my judgmental thought". It is a fine line, but an important one.
      When we own our thoughts and feelings, they no longer have power over us. When we are unaware of our internal experiences, they dictate our behaviour and get us into trouble, leaving us to wonder how we got there.
      One of the first skills I teach clients is this ability to be present with their internal experience without needing to judge or change anything about it, but simply being curious about their internal truth. This provides them with opportunities to make choices involving their thoughts and feelings, to understand them, and relate to them, without being controlled by them.
      Learning to be mindful doesn't mean that our suffering immediately ceases, or that we stop having the thoughts and feelings we don't like.  It offers us the means to tolerate the present experience, to bear our situation, in a more comfortable and compassionate way, leading to better results.
      When we study our experience closely, we realize that we don't choose the thoughts and feelings that arise spontaneously within us.  These are, for the most part, a result of our past conditioning.  We do however choose how we relate to our thoughts and feelings.
      We can add more negativity or serenity.  When we learn to observe non-judgmentally we interrupt the cycle of pain and suffering.  When we get owned by them we run the risk of spiralling out of control.
      Our mindful awareness is like taking one drop out of a glass at a time.  Eventually you realize that painful experiences come and go very quickly.  Something that would have taken days to get over, now takes a few hours.  What clients report most consistently from their practice of mindfulness is how quickly they now get over hurts and conflict.
      It may sound simple, but being mindful is much easier said-than-done. It requires a radical shift in our willingness to examine ourselves. Most of all, it requires practice and patience.
      Mindfulness is a key component in achieving a sense of well being, as it provides a tool to help us take charge of the direction and quality of our lives.

Written by Claire Maisonneuve