I think it was the Japanese Tsunami that sent me over the edge. I'd been having a lot of personal stress and being the political news junkie that I am, I had dutifully signed petitions and engaged on all the issues I care about, all the  while teaching about LGBTQ issues in the mental health community.

Then came the news footage of a giant wave washing away entire towns.  The devastation was incomprehensible. Japan was a stark reminder of my own vulnerability. I felt a wave of my own despair come over me. I had a list of my own personal tsunamis: an upcoming move, the stress of running a business in a recession, raising teenage daugthers, and of course, JAPAN. I had to fix Japan!

One of the quickest ways to insure our own misery is to tie our state of happiness to situations, circumstances and people. Why? because these are out of our control.  All of us, especially those in the "helping profession", struggle with defining what is and is not in our control. The Serenity Prayer is a helpful beginning:

Grant me the grace to accept the things I cannot change

the courage to change the things I can

and

the wisdom to know the difference.

My power is in my beliefs and perceptions of the person, situation or my circumstance in which I feel discomfort or pain. I can't control the economy. I can't fix Japan. However,  I do have the ability to change  thoughts and responses to them. 

Change My Mind Change The World

I took a look at my worries and stressors and what I realized was that the situations in themselves were not the problem. My beliefs, my fears, my catastrophic worries were the problem. I was feeling vulnerable and I did not like it. I wanted these circumstances to change so that I could feel better.

I remembered a question that another teacher, Debbie Ford, had asked me:

 "Given this reality what is it I need to do to cultivate my own well being and happiness?"