An affirming newsletter for the LGBTQ community

from the office of Lisa Maurel, MFT - Lic. #32416
Issue: # 2 Spring 2010
In This Issue
Speaking Out
Community News
Trans-Unity Pride
How are you handling change in your life?
Join Our List
Join Our Mailing List


For more LGBT resources visit my websites or the community links below.

For LGBT resources and therapists in your area:

Los Angeles Area
Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Associatiion

LA Gay and Lesbian Center
Bay Area

Long Beach & Orange County
The Center - LB
The Center OC

Lisa's Upcoming Speaking Events

California Marriage and Family Therapists
April 25, 2010.

Introduction to Cultural Competency & Affirmative Therapy with LGBT Clients

Affirmative Therapy with Gender Variant Family Systems

If you are an MFT, LCSW, or intern, you can register for the conference at

Therapist Leadership Institute May 20, 2010
A Virtual Conference

Helping Families When The Closet Door Swings Open.
Other speakers include:
Sue Johnson, Ellen Bader and Michael Yapko
Register for this course.

Cultural Competency with LGBT Clients and Family Systems.
May 8, 2010 
Newport Beach

6 CE's available for MFT's and LCSW's.

For information and registration visit:

Community News
Save the date:
May 15-16 2010


Check out Day of Silence on Facebook

Gender Spectrum Conference
Save the DATE:
September 3-6

This years family spectrum conference will be held in the Bay Area. Check the website for details and announcements.

Professional Services
Training Calender & Professional Updates

Professional Consultation

2010 Lisa Maurel, MFT, Lic. 32416
- All rights reserved


Spring awakens and enlivens all of nature. In this season we can notice the many ways that we are emerging, changing and becoming.

Take time to reflect on the way in which you are changing and growing. Consider where you feel stuck. This may be a good time to sow some seeds of change in your life.


"A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born."-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

How are you handling change in your life?

Is your life going according to plan?
If it is, just wait, because it will change.
If not, hang in,  it will change.

In a world of uncertainty, it does seem that the uncertain is the only unchanging reality.

We can plan, scheme, hope and dream, but life has this unnerving way of diverting us from the outcome or the destination that we believe is so certain. And, we don't like that.

I vividly remember how this lesson came to me on a rushing river. I had been thrown into the white water and found myself holding on to the sides of the river rock, determined not to be sucked back in. As the water pulled me with its fierce strength, I drug myself across the rocks to escape. Relieved, I collapsed on the bank, only to discover a coiled snake. I jumped into the river and let it carry me down stream, preferring the beating of the rocks to the snake!

In my own life, I have faced many situations in which what I expected would happen, did not. I thought I would be married forever. I wasn't. I thought I'd have three sons. I have two amazing daughters. I thought I'd have quiet cats for pets. I have two noisy boxers. I thought I could  stay in the closet. I could not.

On and on it goes. Life never settles down. LIke a wild and winding river, it carries us along on a current of urgency that propels us into the future and often leaves us breathless with fear, uncertainty and wonder.

As your life carries you along, I wonder, are you holding on, dragging your heals, kicking and screaming? Are you sitting back and surrendering to the flow, even when it takes you right into a tough place?

I find that we experience the most pleasure and the highest possible adaptation to change when we live with an open heart. In my own life, change is always easier and often joyful to navigate, when I can find that open space inside myself that says ...yes, this is what is. This allows the truth in my own heart and soul to emerge and give me clarity.

The greatest pain I've experienced has come when I have refused the current, and held on to the outcome that change is sweeping away beneath me. It has been in those moments that I have had to look inward and see myself as my own captor. Only then, could I have the vision to release, let go and let the river carry me.

I continue to learn this lesson.

..."Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." - Carl Gustav Jung

If you are open to reflection, you can observe the signs of resistance in your own life...

...staying in the closet...keeping the secret of your sexuality, gender or curiosity...
...drowning out your pain with television, alcohol, sex...
...holding on to a resentment, a grudge, that continues to wound...
...continuing a behavior that you know causes you or your loved ones harm...
...repeatedly trying to solve a problem with the same methods without results....

Ask yourself, what am I getting out of holding on to this way of being? If I were to stop doing this...what would change?

Often we find relief when we ask ourselves these questions. The pain is in the resistance. And stepping into acceptance, allows us the room to search, discover, and become more of our true selves.


lisa - headshot  Peace on your journey,


2010 Lisa Maurel, MFT, Lic. 32416
- All rights reserved