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Pack punch into your personal statement
4 tips to writing the most effective admissions essay possible

By Deb Hanson

By the time you complete undergrad school, you will have written enough research papers, opinion reports and exam essays to wallpaper a small apartment. Most important of all, though, will be your personal essay to graduate or professional school.

"Don't underestimate the value of your personal essay," says Dr. David Sanchez, of the Office of Student Academic Affairs at the University of California-San Francisco. "It gives the admissions committee an opportunity to hear about past experiences that may have helped you excel or experiences that in some way wreaked havoc on your academics."

What makes a winning essay? We asked admissions committee representatives from around the country and here's what they said:

1. Focus and Direction

Your essay must clearly and effectively communicate who you are and why you are motivated to pursue a career in a particular area. Therefore, avoid writing sentences that sound vague. When your reviewer reads your essay you will not be there to defend or elaborate your written statements. Your words alone must clearly articulate your desire to become a health professional.

"You're telling the admissions committee a story that has amassed over 21 years," says John Schriner, Associate Director of Admissions at the Ohio University College of Osteopathic Medicine. "Avoid generalities such as, 'Ever since I was a little girl/little boy/young child, I've wanted to become a doctor,' or 'I want to become a physician because I want to help people.' We read these statements in almost every essay. Even if it's true, find another way of saying it."

Barbara Barlow, Associate for Student Affairs at the University of Iowa college of Medicine, says the personal essay is key to disclosing those things which make an applicant unique.

"I look for an applicant who has define goals; this tells me he's serious about his career and is knowledgeable of emerging trends in the field," she says, adding, "I also look for an applicant to state specific reasons for wanting to attend our school; this shows he's researched the institution."

2. Presentation and Style

Start by organizing major ideas in chronological order under headings such as experiences, emotions, obstacles and situations. Always write in present tense and avoid slang terms to ensure that your essay reflects a level of maturity and sophistication. Look for subject/verb agreement and don't rely on spell check. And finally, proofread, proofread, proofread.

"I don't read applications that have typographical or grammatical errors," says Marion Kelly of Mayo Medical School. "They are immediately trashed. We have too many applications to review to tolerate such nonsense."

3. Integrity and Character

Explain any and all discrepancies in your academic record in a positive way. If your grades dropped because of your involvement in too many extracurricular activities, or if the party scene threw you off track, fess up.

"If you consistently earned high marks in science courses and then one semester your GPA takes a nose dive, I want to know why," says Barlow. "Don't make excuses. You don't have to get too personal, but do provide an explanation. How you handle difficulty shows the committee your level of responsibility and maturity."

"Don't pretend to be someone you're not," adds Dee Hughes, Assistant Director of Admissions at the George Washington University School of Medicine and Health Sciences. "Be sincere in your essay. Don't tell us what you think we want to hear."

4. Early Submission

"I receive thousands of essays every year," says Hughes. "Three things help me determine whom I'm going to interview: a student's ability, desire and direction. An early application shows me an applicant with desire. Early applications are looked upon favorably."