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Each month, Don Yaeger, a four-time New York Times best-selling author and award-winning motivational speaker, shares one of his 16 Characteristics of Greatness through the eyes of a great winner from the world of sports. At the end of the e-newsletter, find tips on how to apply this winning characteristic to your life. |
It's Personal... The truly Great hate to lose more than they love to win. |
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As March Madness heads into its second weekend, we're reminded how awesome and how humbling the great game of college basketball can be. Duke's head coach Mike Krzyzewski, whose team plays in its 19th Sweet Sixteen game on Friday, has felt both the emotional peaks (three national championships) and valleys of the game's post-season.
It was in one of those valleys that Coach Krzyzewski, (affectionately known as Coach K), experienced a career-changing moment. At the end of the 1983 season, his third as Duke's coach, the Blue Devils were wrapping
Coach Mike Krzyzewski
 | up a less-than-mediocre year. They were headed to the ACC Tournament where they had to face No. 2 ranked Virginia in the first round.
Duke didn't just get beat -- they got pummeled. The final score was 109-66, the worst loss the Blue Devils had ever suffered in the ACC tournament.
Later that night, Coach K agreed to meet a few friends at a restaurant. As he was walking toward the table, one of those friends actually grabbed all the knives off the table and laughed, "Coach, we don't want you to do anything rash." Trying to make light of the situation, another friend lifted his glass of water and offered a mock toast: "Here's to a night let's soon forget."
Coach K didn't laugh off the loss and he didn't join the toast. Instead, he lifted his own glass and said, "Here's to a night we will never forget." He  wanted to make sure that the sting of losing that night was something that stayed with him throughout his career. He never wanted to have another game like that one.
The next fall, Coach K welcomed his team back at the start of the basketball season. At that first practice, he walked them on to the court and above their heads, in bright red, the scoreboard was lit with the numbers 109-66, reminding them of the last game from the previous season. Their coach wanted his players to remember how badly they had been beaten, and wanted them to remember how much it hurt. He started off a new season by remembering the pain of the previous one's ending.
That next season, Duke won 13 more games than the one before. The following year, they made it to the second round of the NCAA tournament. And the year after that, they played for the National Championship against the University of Louisville Cardinals.
Coach K will tell you that the moment when he went from good to Great wasn't in a championship game. That moment came in... a loss. And it was not just any loss, but one of the worst in his career. That painful moment was one he wanted to make personal for each and every one of his players. He made sure they remembered how much losing hurt and, by making that loss personal, made sure they would work overtime to never experience that feeling again.
Tips from the Great Ones
Coach K believed that if his team did not hurt from their loss and remember the pain, they wouldn't learn from their mistakes. He made the loss to
Coach K with Duke basketball players
 | Virginia personal to himself and to the team. Since then, under Coach K's leadership, Duke has won eleven ACC Championships, three NCAA Championships, and earned ten Final Four appearances -- the third highest number of Final Four showings in history.
The agony of defeat can do wonders for improvement. Bill Gates has said, "Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning."
Coach K makes sure his team learns from losses by instituting a "no-excuses" rule. It would have been easy for Duke's coach to have excused his  team's loss to Virginia, which was led by 7-foot-4 Ralph Sampson. But no excuse was offered. As Krzyzewski has shown by example, the truly Great don't explain failure away. Instead, they internalize it. They use it as fuel to make them better. And the better you are at something, the better you want to be.
Society looks at failure with a scornful eye. School, work, friends, even family can make us feel guilty about failure, but those moments can also teach us to do whatever we can to avoid it in the future. Losses are only harmful if the opportunity is wasted -- if we don't gain experience for the next time around.
Everyday we must learn from our mistakes, offering no excuses for them while striving constantly to be better. By taking Duke's loss against Virginia personally, Coach K was able to motivate his team while taking himself from being a good coach to one who espouses Greatness. |
Do you know of an upcoming event where Don may be a good fit? Find out more here!
Have you seen an example of Greatness you'd like to share with Don? Email him at don@donyaeger.com | |
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16 Consistent Characteristics of Greatness |
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HOW THEY THINK
1. It's Personal - They hate to lose more than they love to win.
2. Rubbing Elbows - They understand the value of association.
3. Believe - They have faith in a higher power.
4. Contagious Enthusiasm - They are positive thinkers... They are enthusiastic... and that enthusiasm rubs off.
HOW THEY PREPARE
5. Hope For the Best, But... - They prepare for all possibilities before they step on the field.
6. What Off-Season? - They are always working towards the next game... The goal is what's ahead, and there's always something ahead.
7. Visualize Victory - They see victory before the game begins
8. Inner Fire - They use adversity as fuel.
HOW THEY WORK
9. Ice In Their Veins - They are risk-takers and don't fear making a mistake.
10. When All Else Fails - They know how - and when - to adjust their game plan.
11. Ultimate Teammate - They will assume whatever role is necessary for the team to win.
12. Not Just About the Benjamins - They don't play just for the money.
HOW THEY LIVE
13. Do Unto Others - They know character is defined by how they treat those who cannot help them.
14. When No One is Watching - They are comfortable in the mirror... they live their life with integrity.
15. When Everyone Is Watching - They embrace the idea of being a role model.
16. Records Are Made to Be Broken - They know their legacy isn't what they did on the field. They are well-rounded. |
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