By Elizabeth M. Stephens & Annie M. Sprinkle

(i) WE ARE THE ECOSEXUALS. The Earth is our lover. We are madly, passionately, and fiercely in love, and we are grateful for this relationship each and every day. In order to create a more mutual and sustainable relationship with the Earth, we collaborate with nature. We treat the Earth with kindness, respect and affection.

(ii) WE MAKE LOVE WITH THE EARTH. We are aquaphiles, teraphiles, pyrophiles and aerophiles. We shamelessly hug trees, massage the earth with our feet, and talk erotically to plants. We are skinny dippers, sun worshipers, and stargazers. We caress rocks, are pleasured by waterfalls, and admire the Earth's curves often. We make love with the Earth through our senses. We celebrate our E-spots. We are very dirty.

(iii) WE ARE A RAPIDLY GROWING GLOBAL COMMUNITY OF ECOSEXUALS. This community includes artists, academics, sex workers, sexologists, healers, environmental activists, nature fetishists, gardeners, business people, therapists, lawyers, peace activists, eco-feminists, scientists, educators, (r)evolutionaries, critters and other entities from diverse walks of life. Some of us are SexEcologists, researching and exploring the places where sexology and ecology intersect in our culture. As consumers we aim to buy less. When we must, we buy green, organic, and local. Whether on farms, at sea, in the woods, or in small towns or large cities, we connect and empathize with nature.

(iv) WE ARE ECOSEX ACTIVISTS. We will save the mountains, waters and skies by any means necessary, especially through love, joy and our powers of seduction. We will stop the rape, abuse and the poisoning of the Earth. We do not condone the use of violence, although we recognize that some ecosexuals may choose to fight those most guilty for destroying the Earth with public disobedience, anarchist and radical environmental activist strategies. We embrace the revolutionary tactics of art, music, poetry, humor, and sex. We work and play tirelessly for Earth justice and global peace. Bombs hurt.

(v) ECOSEXUAL IS AN IDENTITY. For some of us being ecosexual is our primary (sexual) identity, whereas for others it is not. Ecosexuals can be GLBTQI, heterosexual, asexual, and/or Other. We invite and encourage ecosexuals to come out. We are everywhere. We are polymorphous and pollen-amorous. We educate people about ecosex culture, community and practices. We hold these truths to be self evident; that we are all part of, not separate from, nature. Thus all sex is ecosex.

(vi) THE ECOSEX PLEDGE. I promise to love, honor and cherish you Earth, until death brings us closer together forever.

VIVA LA ECOSEX REVOLUCION! JOIN US! www.sexecology.org

I came across this article in the Palm Springs Desert Sun:

Desert Cougar Crowned Queen of the Singles Jungle

By Mariecar Mendoza

Cougars have been roaming the Coachella Valley for years, sleek, fit and ready to pounce - or to be pounced on.

But they're not the mountain lion variety. These cougars are women in their middle years or older, who are sexy, confident and sophisticated.

"The modern older woman is not your mommy or your grandma anymore," said Palm Desert resident Judy Steinberg, author of "Fabulous After 50 and Sexy at 60." "We have evolved socially because Baby Boomers have turned everything upside down."

From Hollywood stars like Demi Moore, Mariah Carey and Courtney Cox - who plays a hot divorcee in ABC's "Cougar Town" - women over 40 have become a hot commodity in the singles scene.

And 73-year-old Aalsa Lee of Palm Springs is just one of the hottest examples.

The great-grandmother of two was recently crowned Miss Cougar America by the Society of Single Professionals, a Bay Area-based group that boasts it's the "world's largest nonprofit singles organization."

"I never considered myself a cougar, but it seems to be a title that has stuck with me," Lee said, laughing. "But I'm a natural-born flirt, so it all comes easy."

Lee, who earned the crown April 29 at a Cougar Convention in New York, is the oldest Miss Cougar America the organization has crowned since hosting its annual conventions in 2009, said Rich Gosse, chairman of the Society of Single Professionals.

"It just blew our minds. We've never had any woman that age win the title, but we're delighted," Gosse said.

"It really says something about how older women are changing the dating scene."

Cougars are generally defined as women 40 and older who continue to remain youthful, fun and active enough to attract younger men - or "cubs" - at least 10 years their junior.

"It's hard to find men around my age that are still active and interesting," Lee said, admitting that she once dated a man 30 years younger. "Most the guys my age are either dead or on their way."

Gosse, author of "The Cougar Imperative," said that's exactly why the cougar-cub relationship is such an obvious solution to the usual dating rut older women find themselves in when they stick to tradition.

Another benefit of cougar relationships, experts say, is that there's less drama.

"The baggage is so minimal compared to what the young woman can bring to a relationship," said Judy Steinberg, who is working on a new book titled "The Cougar Chronicles" which will be a collection of cougars from Hollywood starlets to royalty and beyond.

"She's not going to bring you home for an examination by her parents. Most of the time they don't exist," Steinberg said. "And you don't have to worry about her wanting kids because she's already been there, done that."

But for local cougars, and even former cougars like Steinberg - who said she's happily "occupied the cougar role in my life" - they've been disappointed by how cougars are perceived.

"It's evolved into any horny 40-year-old woman who wants to be with a college kid, and that's just tacky," the 68-year-old said.

Lee agrees and emphasizes that cougars shouldn't be seen as "the predatory female."

"We're not on the prowl looking to attack these young, hapless men," she said. "They find us."

New York-based relationship expert Whitney Casey understands their sentiments.

Casey is the Relationship Insider for Match.com, a dating website with nearly a quarter of their 1.9 million members age 50 and older making it the fastest-growing demographic for the site.

"A lot of people qualify it as a bedroom moniker, but it really isn't. It's more about being free-spirited, liberated - not just in the bedroom, but in life in general," Casey said.

"I think women who get called a cougar should embrace it."

Palm Springs resident Dorothy Kloss, 87, has done just that.

"They come up with all the buzz words because it's the name of the game," she said. "But I've been in the game longer than most people."

Kloss, who said she's always dated younger men, has been with her cub, Ken Prescott, for 12 years.

But Prescott, while flattered, admits he's not what people typically picture when talking about cubs - he's 65.

The couple met at The Fabulous Palm Springs Follies, where Kloss worked her way into the Guinness Book of Records as the oldest living showgirl in the world.

"I think it's funny that it's become such a phenomenon because it's been our way of life for years," Prescott said.

Kloss does admit that "it keeps you young when you find companionship with someone who's active."

Casey said that seems to ring true for many cougars, who often describe cougar-cub relationships as "facelifts for life."

Lucia, a self-proclaimed cougar, said cougars are "an endorsement for living a healthy lifestyle."

"We're talking about older women who look young. They're attractive, in shape and just on top of all it," said Lucia, a Los Angeles-based dating expert who specializes in cougar relationships on urbancougar.com, billed as the world's first cougar lifestyle website.

Lifestyle trends such a nutritional diets, Pilates and Botox have been spurred by cougars, she added.

"They show that those who take care of themselves can look great well after their 20s and can reap the rewards for it well into their 60s," said Lucia, who goes professionally by only one name.

And it's not just a fad, she said.

"If a woman is hot, no matter what the age, guys are going to be interested - and beautiful women are turning 40 every day," Lucia said.

"They're out of their den and they're not going back."  

O Venus, beauty of the skies,

To whom a thousand temples rise,

Gaily false in gentle smiles,

Full of love-perplexing wiles;

O goddess, from my heart remove

The wasting cares and pains of love.

If ever thou hast kindly heard

A song in soft distress preferred,

Propitious to my tuneful vow,

A gentle goddess, hear me now.

Descend, thou bright immortal guest,

In all thy radiant charms confessed.

Thou once didst leave almighty Jove

And all the golden roofs above:

The car thy wanton sparrows drew,

Hovering in air they lightly flew;

As to my bower they winged their way

I saw their quivering pinions play.

The birds dismissed (while you remain)

Bore back their empty car again:

Then you, with looks divinely mild,

In every heavenly feature smiled,

And asked what new complaints I made,

And why I called you to my aid?

What frenzy in my bosom raged,

And by what cure to be assuaged?

What gentle youth I would allure,

Whom in my artful toils secure?

Who does thy tender heart subdue,

Tell me, my Sappho, tell me who?

Though now he shuns thy longing arms,

He soon shall court thy slighted charms;

Though now thy offerings he despise,

He soon to thee shall sacrifice;

Though now he freezes, he soon shall burn,

And be thy victim in his turn.

Celestial visitant, once more

Thy needful presence I implore.

In pity come, and ease my grief,

Bring my distempered soul relief,

Favour thy suppliant's hidden fires,

And give me all my heart desires.

- Sappho  

The Queen's Court is a gathering of sovereign women of a certain age - our dear peers - who graciously offer information, guidance, inspiration and encouragement to each other.

We Queens know what we know. And we know a great deal. Our experience has made us wise. So, feel free to consult with our cyber council/counsel when you are need of sage advice or wish to explore a particular topic of interest.  

Q. What does power mean to YOU, dear Queens? Please send me your thoughts about power and also stories of your own empowerment. When shared, these ideas and examples are extremely inspiring to others. Thanks.  

A. There are times when I have witnessed someone who is acting at the top of their compassion, intellect, spiritual service and ability to communicate. (Maturity level and physical strength are not factors here.) I get a feeling of pause as if to move would shift a current that would dissipate the aura, the perfection of the moment. To me ultimate power is in this synchronicity. 

- Katherine, CT

A. I am powerful when I am centered and standing strong in my life's purpose.

- Donna, OH

A. Watch out, world. Here I come! A sassy gal who is determined to do what I want to do. I was a good girl for far too long!

- Mo, RI

Please send your questions or responses to: thequeenofmyself@aol.com. Your letters will be printed in the next Queen's Chronicles.   

 Powerful Woman (post midlife crisis battlecry)

Party Doll is in the house with a big old mouth and butt to match,

don't give me no trouble till you hear my rap.

I'll get you "In the Mood" and we'll "Rock around the Clock" cause I'm "Too Legit to Quit" and you won't want to stop.

I hate exercise, it makes me sweat, I'd rather be dancing or on the net.

I'm a Powerful Woman looking for a powerful man. My kids are grown, did what I can.

They made me nuts with heavy metal and rap.

All I ever wanted to do is take a nap.

Baseball, football, all kinds of sports, by the time they left I was all out of sorts.

I said I'm getting rid of my man and the kids too, I'm strutten my stuff, not livin in a zoo.

I'm a Motown hippie, from the 60's generation. Give me that rock and funk and I'll give you a gyration.

They think they're bad with their grunge and rap. I'll match them side by side and even put in a tap.

Cause I'm a rocker and a roller and a mean mother stroller.

Don't get in my way when I'm doin my jive

Cause I'm still the hottest woman alive.

Give me those blues and I'll funk you to death, make your eyes roll over and you'll need a rest.

So girls if you think your so cool now, just wait till your 50 then they open the door.

When you get pms you earned every bitch so let it rip.

Give your family an attitude and let them know that your hip.

Life is so smooth when you on MTV, you know that you've made the grade.

I'm tellin you girlfriend don't be so staid.

I'm a powerful woman looking for a Powerful man, So if you measure up catch me if you can.

I gotta big ol butt, who really cares, when you out in the world shakin all your wares.

Eat your heart out people I've done my duty, I've cleaned those dishes and wiped that booty.

Now I don't do windows, in fact I don't do much, got me a young squeeze that I like to touch.

I don't mean to brag and I don't mean to boast but I got my inspiration from the holy ghost.

They say "Hey Ms Deejay aren't you a little old to play?"

Honey I was miss thang in my day.

I can still shake it to the left and shake it to the right, stick it up, stick it down, my moves are still tight.

I'm a party doll that still loves the grooves.

C'mon girlfriends, I'll get you in the mood.

So grab that guy and and show what you got.

"Baby got Back" take it to the top.

Cause I'm a powerful woman looking for a powerful man, so If you measure up catch me if you can.

(P.S. All misspelled words are not typos. - D.A.) 

- Denise Andrews  

  

We extend hearty congratulations to our multi-talented circle of Sister Queens for their impressive accomplishments and successes.

 

 

Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little. The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark.

- Agnes de Mille

Jerri Allyn, CA; Autum Ashante, NY; Alessandra Belloni, NJ; Lynn Book, NC; Margaret Flanagan, NY; Le'ema Kathleen Graham, CA; Barbara Hammer, NY; Julie Harrison, NY; Annie Lanzillotto, NY; Dina Paisner, NY; Faerie Elaine Silver, FL; Annie Sprinkle, CA; and Elizabeth Stephens, CA; on their performances and/or performances of their work.

Barbara Ardinger, CA, Secret Lives (Book); Kate and Saraswati Clere, CA, Yogawoman (Film); Maureen Gosling, CA, Best of Me - Braceros in Portrait (Music Video); Aviva Gold, CA, Source Art in the World (Book); Lisa Levart, NY, Goddess on Earth: A Visual Celebration of the Divine Feminine (Book); Deena Metzger, CA, Feral (Book) and La Negra y Blanca: Fugue and Commentary (Book); Tisha Morris, TN, Feng Shui Your Life: A Quick Guide to Decluttering Your Home and Renewing Your Life (Book); Gail Swanson, FL, The Heart of Love: Mary Magdalene Speaks (Book); and Terry Werth, NY, Pink-On-Pink: Writing My Way Through Breast Cancer (Book); on their new publications.

Ruth Ann Anderson, CA; Lauren Curtis, NJ; Deborah Feller, NY; Janet Goldner, NY; Robin Holder, NY; Suzanne Lacy, CA; Lorraine O'Grady, NY; Reynolds, NY; Barbara Rosenthal, NY; Joyce Cutler-Shaw, CA; Linda Stein, NY; and Robin Tewes, NY; on the exhibitions of their artwork.

Nancy Ann Jones, CA, on her receiving the Hagia Sophia Lifetime Achievement Award presented by The Temple of the Goddess in Los Angeles.

Renae Rebechini, IL, on her marriage.

Nicki Scully, OR on the birth of her grandchild.

Send your good news, achievements, accomplishments, successes and celebrations so that our international circle of sovereign sisters can send you blessings and accolades.
 
And we are glad to so. It is a joy and a privilege to share in the fortune of another woman. I recently heard Oprah say the saddest thing ever - "The hardest thing about being successful is having someone to be glad for you."

It takes a centered and confident Queen to break that pattern. There are 60 million thrones out there. One for each of us. There is plenty of purpose, passion and power for us all. May we use it well!

It is important that you recognize your progress and take pride in your accomplishments. Share your achievements with others. Brag a little. The recognition and support of those around you is nurturing.
- Rosemarie Rossetti  

Alison, TN; Amy, NY; Bebee, DE; Berenice, NY; Betty, AL; Carol, NY; Chrissie, NY; Cristina, NY; Dana, CA; Dani, WI; Dominique, NM; Donna, NY; Dee, NY; Elizabeth, NY; Erica, New Zealand; Gail, OH; Geraldine, ID; Glenys, Australia; Jo, AZ; Judith, NY; Karen, NJ; Kazuko, NY; Kimi, NJ; Linda, NY; Lisa, PA; Lucia, TX; Margo, NY: Mary Gatle, MD; Matild Cathy, NY; Naomi, DC; Pat, MA; Pearl, NY; Ruth, NY; Sandy, CA; Sheri, NY; Shirley, IN; Sid, PA; Smriti, CA; Susan, MA; Susan, NC; Terri, FL; and Yvette, NY; who are in the process of healing themselves from illness, accident, injury or surgery.

Kimberly, NY; Kimi, NJ; Linda, NY; Linda, NY; Meryl, NY; Dee, NY; Patricia, Australia and Regi, CA who would benefit greatly from some spiritual support.   

Amy, NY; Chrys, NY; Erica, New Zealand; Gail, NY; Kayla, NY; Lee, NJ; Lois, NY; Nancy, NC; Roslyn, NJ; and Sharon, FL; the caregivers who are in weary need of care themselves.   

May Their Spirits Rest in Peace:

Cheryl B, NY

Dr. Morgan Barnebee, FL

Bronwen Forbes, IN

Betty Ford, CA

Sharon Mitchell, OH

Rev. Leianne Pepper, KY

Colurtney Ann Sharp, WI

With Sincere Condolences:

Anna Morten, Australia

Prayer Request:

My cousin, Mary Gayle Clarke, is in Johns Hopkins Hospital undergoing chemo to get rid of a really bad kind of leukemia and would love to be kept in prayer. Her second biopsy shows the bone marrow is clear, so that is good news, but she needs lots of prayer to combat the side effects and all. Thanks so much!

- Margaret, NY

It is not how much we do,

but how much love

we put in the doing.

It is not how much we give,

but how much love we put in the giving.

- Mother Teresa

FRANCE

My sister Kim was turning 50 this year, and I wanted to do something special to commemorate the event. Donna Henes' Crowning Ceremony ritual was just what I was looking for. Kim is single, childfree, an accomplished actress and voice talent, writer, theatre director/stage manager, spiritually inclined, with a strong sense of Self. Crowning Kim the Queen of Her Self reflected perfectly, I thought, where she was and where she was heading in life.

I would have loved to have Queen Donna officiate in person for this, however the logistics seemed a bit complex since we are based in Europe (Paris and the Loire Valley region). Donna suggested that she send me a script for the ceremony, and that I could officiate. I hesitated a bit at first - who am I to "know" how to do this? I am absolutely no match for Donna's skills and experiences! Then I read Donna's book The Queen of My Self, and felt that it was a challenge I could tackle with Donna's guidance from afar - if I planned and carried it out purposefully and confidently.

The ceremony was prepared with my two oldest children, 14-year-old Estelle and 18-year-old Nathan, who very much enjoy "Auntie Kim's" company. Many of the ceremonial objects came from our home or immediate vicinity. The altar cloth was a white lace tablecloth from Normandy, the sacred ceremonial circle was created with rose petals, lavender and santolina flowers from our garden. Ashes were collected from our home hearth. Estelle, a talented artist, arranged pheasant feathers (from a pheasant given to us by a hunter friend) with a hand-knitted silk/mohair bow to create a crown from a white hat. A scepter was crafted from a birch wood branch with carvings and paintings by Estelle and Nathan. In addition, I purchased sage and lavender essential oils, body oil with a touch of gold in it, some candles and lots of gold glitter.

Kim decided who she wanted to have present - just a few very close friends who are also spiritually inclined so that the ceremony would remain focused and purposeful. None of our preparations were shared with Kim - I wanted to keep an element of suprise.

We were fortunate to have a lovely early summer day and to be able to celebrate in a small, secluded privately-owned garden just outside Paris in a small village. The ceremony took place in the evening. Cushions were placed on the lawn in a circle around the altar cloth, with a sheepskin cushion as a "throne" for Kim. Candles were lit at the perimeter of the sacred circle to provide some light as the sun set. Three candles were placed on the alter cloth, to symbolize Kim's past, present and future.

I announced that we were here to celebrate Kim's becoming a Queen of Her Self, and when we all anointed ourselves with some sage and golden oil, the ceremony began.

I lit the candle representing the past - it was surrounded by photos of Kim, from various moments of her past. We each spoke in turn. Then Kim placed some Hawaiian red salt on her tongue, declared what she was leaving behind and what she was bringing with her, and blew out the candle.

The candle of the present was lit, and in turn we evoked how Kim contributed to our present lives and the richness that it brought to us. Kim also spoke of how each of us enriched her present, scattered some ashes and blew out the candle.

The candle representing the future was lit, and I declared that Kim was to place a small pepper on her tongue to symbolize her courage to boldly step into her future Queendom. Kim spoke of her future with great force, enthusiasm and joy - then extinguished the final candle.

I removed the crown and scepter from the hiding place, placed the crown on Kim's head and declared her Queen. Kim took the scepter, raised it to the sky and declared that she was now Queen of Her Self. We all shouted "Long Live the Queen!" and whooped and cheered and threw gold glitter.  

It was a touching and meaningful ceremony. Many thanks again to you, Donna, for providing the insight and inspiration that helped make it happen.

Photo credits: Nathan Saignes

- Lorraine Tilbury

Please Submit Your Royal Reports

Tell us about your Self and/or your Queen Group: who, what, where, when, why?

What Queenly topics do you explore?

What projects do you engage in?

Describe some golden moments.

Send pictures!