The Queen's Chronicles
Inspiration for an Influential, Passionate and Powerful Maturity
April 2010
In This Issue
Farewell to the Chief Queen
Guardian Queen of Earth's Water
Crying is Cleansing
Madonna Virgo Dolorosa

Queen Mama Donna


Donna Henes is an internationally renowned urban shaman, award-winning author, popular speaker and workshop leader whose joyful celebrations of celestial events have introduced ancient traditional rituals and contemporary ceremonies to millions of people in more than 100 cities since 1972. She has published four books, a CD, an acclaimed quarterly journal and currently writes for the Huffington Post, Beliefnet and UPI (United Press International) Religion and Spirituality Forum. Mama Donna, as she is affectionately called, maintains a ceremonial center, spirit shop, ritual practice and consultancy in Exotic Brooklyn, NY where she offers intuitive tarot readings and spiritual counseling and works with individuals, groups, institutions, municipalities and corporations to create meaningful ceremonies for every imaginable occasion.

Good News!


"What is so spectacular and amazing in my opinion about The Queen of My Self is that it gives this heretofore nebulous stage  of life a name, a character, and  - most of all - it captures its essence. This is the stage when a woman needs to be regal: she's bent over children for thirty years, and twenty or thirty years from now she'll be bending over a cane, but NOW she's standing tall and making her mark. She's the Queen of herself, or she can be."
- Victoria Moran,
author of Creating a Charmed Life and Fat, Broke and Lonely No More

The Queen of My Self is celebrating its 5th Anniversary and its 2nd printing.

Quick Links...


I've thoroughly enjoyed your book and have recommended it to so many of my students.
- Wendy, Australia

Calling All Queens!

The Queen's Chronicles

Offers upbeat, practical and ceremonial inspiration for all women who want to enjoy the fruits of an influential, passionate, and powerful maturity.

I would appreciate it if you would please forward The Queen's Chronicles to people who might value it.

Forward to a Friend


If someone sent The Queen's Chronicles to you, don't depend on your friend for this great information. Get your own complimentary subscription.

Sign up for your free
subscription to

The Queen's Chronicles

present box purpleTo The Queen's Chronicles

My dear sister Queens,

Writing The Queen's Chronicles is a joy and an honor - a labor of true love - but, the fact remains that it takes a great deal of time and effort and requires the services of a techno-cyber Queen to be able to offer it each month. Consequently, after two years of publishing, the royal coffers are sadly diminished and in desperate need of replenishing.
Your donations will allow me to continue to provide you with a monthly offering of information and inspiration for an influential, passionate and powerful maturity.
I thank you so much for your royal support. With your help, The Queen's Chronicles can maintain its mission to promote meaning, moxie, magic and majesty to women in midlife.
With regal blessings,
xxQueen Mama Donna


I made it! Thank you for your faith and guidance in planning my Queening Ceremony. I so appreciated your email encouragements and especially the Yoruba saying, "You crown your own head."
-  Lauree, NY
Are you looking for meaning, moxie, magic and majesty in midlife?

Consult the
Midlife Midwife™

bio portrait

The transition from Maiden and Mother to Queen can be a difficult one, fraught with hard lessons and lots of loss. It takes great determination and courage to confront and embrace the changes brought about by the midlife passage.

It can be really helpful during this confusing time to have the inspiration, advice and encouragement of a counselor/coach/mentor - someone who has been there and done that and is ready to help you do the same.

Queen Mama Donna offers upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity.



Further information: www.thequeenofmyself.com
Click on Individual Consultations.

Sessions are available in person and by phone. To make an appointment, call 718-857-1343 or email the Queen at TheQueenOfMySelf@aol.com

Growth is a painful process.
- Wilma Mankiller

Featured Event!


Mama Donna will be hosting an entire Queen Weekend! - including several workshops, rituals and special events at this annual gathering. She will also have her Spirit Shop there and be available for Tarot readings.

JUNE 2 - 6
Information and registration:

Womongathering Queens 2009

7:30-8:30 PM    
1-3 PM  

4 PM                  

10 AM-12 PM    

12-1 PM           

2-5 PM                

A Queen Event
Near You
North Carolina Unitarian Universalist
Conference Queens


APRIL 1-30
1/3 off reading for April Birthdays. In person or by phone.
For info: 718-857-1343

APRIL 29 - MAY 2
Mama Donna is a guest workshop leader and ritualist. Hosted by the Panthean Temple.
For information: 203-660-1369

MAY 1-31
1/3 off reading for May Birthdays and mothers. A truly meaningful gift for any mother!
In person or by phone. Gift certificates available.
For info: 718-857-1343
A Spirit Support Skills Workshop 
Learn simple body/mind/spirit techniques to help you keep your perspective, sanity, clarity, equilibrium, good cheer and positive attitude intact during the toughest of times.
$25 per seminar.
$60 if you register for all 3 teleclasses in the series**

For more info, click.

MAY 13
A Spirit Support Skills Workshop 
Learn the basics about the tarot. This beginners workshop will be required for future tarot classes.
Mama Donna's Tea Garden
Park Slope, Exotic Brooklyn, NY
For info: 718-857-1343
$50. If prepaid 3 days in advance
$60. At the door.

MAY 22
(rain date: May 23, Sunday)
Mama Donna will conduct a participatory Hudson River cleansing ceremony as the grand finale of the Hudson River Pageant (1-5PM). Calling all blessers - send an email to join Mama Donna's Blessing Band.
Gansevoort Street at the river,
For info: 718-857-1343

JUNE 1-30
1/3 off reading for June Birthdays. In person or by phone.
For info: 718-857-1343
JUNE 2 - 6
Mama Donna will be hosting an entire Queen Weekend! Including several workshops and rituals at this annual gathering. She will also have her Spirit Shop there and be available for Tarot readings.
Information and registration:

DREAM WISDOM: Deciphering the Messages From Your Soul
A Spirit Support Skills Workshop 
Learn how to access and make sense of the symbolic language of your dreams and visions, and how to recognize the truths and lessons that they offer.
$60. if you register for all 3 teleclasses in the second series++
(June 9, July 7 and August 4)
For more info, click.

MEANING, MOXIE & MAJESTY IN MIDLIFE A workshop and ritual with Mama Donna Henes
Are you in your middle years or about to enter them? Are you living your true potential and following your fondest dreams? If not, why not? And if not now, when? Now is the time to leave behind old patterns that no longer serve you and to make way for the Queen - that wonderful midlife stage of mature empowerment that is rightfully yours to enjoy. This inspirational day will culminate in a Royal Coronation Crowning Ceremony, after which you will be ready to ascend the throne of conscientious leadership, with all the tools you need to redeem and transform your life and the whole planet.
A Private Residence
San Diego, CA
(Info will be sent upon registration)
For more information and to register:
Or call 619-980-8151
$147. (Includes crown and amulet bag of royal treasures.)
Advance registration is a must. Tuition due by June 5, 2020.

TUESDAY, 11:30 AM-2:00 PM
The inaugral luncheon seminar of a 9 part series concocted and served by Liana Carbón, PhD to help you strengthen the leader you already are, while creating an entirely new body of leadership that will emerge from within you!
The Park Manor Inn
San Diego, CA
For information and registration:
Or call Bethany Rudd at 602-748-5837
Register before May 20 for a discount


MONDAY morning,
7;15 AM event starts
7:28 AM Solstice moment
A sizzling Celebration of Summer. Drum up the sun!
Pier 16 South Street Seaport
For info: 718-857-1343
A sizzling Celebration of Summer. A family friendly event. Bring kids, dogs, drums and lots of spirit.
Socrates Sculpture Park
32-01 Vernon Blvd., Long Island City, Queens
For info: 718-956-1819



JULY 1-31
1/3 off reading for July Birthdays. In person or by phone.
For info: 718-857-1343

SETTING IT WRITE: Journal Keeping for Healing, Sanity, Clarity & Wisdom
A Spirit Support Skills Workshop 
Learn how to track your innermost feelings, ideas, plans, goals, ambitions, aspirations and experiences, and turn them into your own psychic support system.
$60. if you register for all 3 teleclasses in the second series++
(June 9, July 7 and August 4)
For more info, click.



1/3 off reading for August Birthdays. In person or by phone.
For info: 718-857-1343

NOTING THE PROCESS OF THE NOTING THE PROCESS: Keeping Track of Your Transformation
A Spirit Support Skills Workshop 
Learn how to organize and make sense of the patterns created by the signs, symbols, impulses, omens and instinctual messages from your personal inner guidance so that they can help you create a more meaningful, effective and satisfactory life.
$60. if you register for all 3 teleclasses in the second series++
(June 9, July 7 and August 4)
For more info, click.


Have Crown,
Will Travel!

To discuss booking Queen Mama Donna for a reading, presentation, ritual, workshop or a keynote address in your area, call her at 718-857-1343 or e-mail her at TheQueenOfMySelf@aol.com

"Queen Mama Donna is an eloquent, riveting and knowledgeable speaker, who enthralled the women at her seminar hosted by the Health & Wellness Center by Doylestown Hospital.  Her warmth, authenticity and generosity of spirit shines through and touches everyone in attendance. The evaluations were exceptional, with a near perfect score of 5.9 out of 6!! I highly recommend Queen Mama Donna as a speaker for your organization."

 - Susan Duval, Producer
Spirituality Channel
Susan Duval Seminars
Doylestown, PA 

The Queen's Emporium

Anita Roddick

Make sure to visit The Queen's Emporium, which specializes in all manner of elegant, practical, and frivolous goods to fulfill all the royal needs and fantasies of The Queen of Your Self. Therein you will find a choice collection of goods to augment and accessorize your royal prerogative.

Anoint, Adorn, Enjoy!

The Queen's Oil of Empowerment is a dandy little ritual. Every morning I bless my Self before going out into the world. It helps me stay in a place of personal sovereignty.
- Charlene, UT
My women's group starts every meeting by blessing each other with power.
- Faye, ME

A ritual in a bottle. Use this oil to bless your Self with the sovereignty that you seek. Made by Queen Mama Donna, herself.
2 oz. bottle in gauze bag
$35 (Includes shipping in the USA)



The Queen's Emporium

The Queen
on the Record

Read and listen to Queen Mama Donna's words of information and inspiration.

Regular Columns:

Always in Season
The Huffington Post

Ask Your Mama
Pagan Pages
The Oracle
New Age Journal
UPI Religion and Spirituality

Meaning, Moxie & Majesty for Midlife Women
Launching May 17th!

Recent Articles about QMD:

The Huffington Post
Writing for Life Blog
National Public Radio
Columbia Daily Tribune
The Daily Beast

Recent Articles by QMD:
USA Today

Recent Radio Interviews:
Maryanne Live with Maryanne Comaroto
Weaving the Web of the World Radio
Dispelling the Myths Radio

Amazon Author Page:

Wikipedia listings:
Donna Henes
The Queen of My Self

YouTube Channel:
Mama Donna Henes

Social Networks:
Follow Queen Mama Donna on

Mama Donna's website www.DonnaHenes.net received a Best Spiritual Site Award!

Queen Mama Donna was named Baby Boom Woman Blogger to watch out for in 2008 for The Queen's Chronicles by Virtual Woman's Day!


Thank you so much for running my ad for Seasoned to Perfection necklaces! My website had a market increase in hits on the days following your promotion.
- Kate Stockman. NC

Imagine Your Ad Here!

Welcome to our new advertiser, Karen Ethelsdattar. Her new book, Earthwalking and other Poems (www.Xlibris.com) is now available. You may have read her wonderful poetry in The Queen of My Self and also in past issues of The Queen's Chronicles.
Thank you, Karen, for your support and your desire to network with our fabulous royal readers around the globe. May you be successful in your endeavors and blessed with spiritual and material abundance.

YOUR ad in
The Queen's Chronicles!  

Would you like to reach the
5000+ Queens in our royal network across the country and around the world with information about your business?

Advertising listings in The Queen's Chronicles are available for $50/per issue with significant discounts for ongoing listings. Graphic display ads are available for $75.

For more information and to place your order contact: thequeenofmyself@aol.com or call 718-857-1343.

Royal Resources
for Queenly Women

Our extended circle of Queens includes some mightily talented women. Please support them by availing yourself of their superior services and by buying their excellent products.

Dr. Susan Corso
Omnifaith spiritual insights for
 seekers and finders

Earthwalking and Other Poems
by Karen Ethelsdattar

"Absolutely exquisite, a joy to read, a pleasure for the soul and senses" - Joanna Macy, author of World as Lover, World as Self.

Eve's Garden
Celebrating the sacred power of women's sexual energy

Feldenkrais Associates
Discover the Feldenkrais Method with Amber Barbara Grumet, director of Feldenkrais Associates. Become aware of how you move in order to improve your overall functioning. Through group lessons or individual hands-on sessions you learn to expand your potential in all areas.
For info: 212 242-2309 or amber@feldenkraisassociates.com

Maguire Pubic Relations

Expertise in journalism and marketing qualifies us to position and deliver the news of our clients.

Menopause Support Group
A community of patients, family members and friends dedicated to dealing with Menopause, together. Register for free.

MLA Editorial Services
Whether you're looking to publish with a top trade house, a prestigious academic press, or are considering self-publishing your work, we can help you shape and polish your manuscript to the highest professional standards. We specialize in serious nonfiction. More than 20-years experience.

Licensed Acupuncturist and Chinese Herbalist.Focusing on women's health and other chronic issues

Spruce Shore Cottage
Restore yourself on the Maine coast. Lovely cabin for rent. Minutes from Acadia National Park. Ocean, sky, full kitchen. Contact
Weslea Sidon via email
or call 207-244-9897

Talking to the Goddess  
An anthology of blessings, prayers, invocations, chants, oriki and other sacred writings by 72 women (including Queen Mama Donna) from 25 different spiritual
traditions. 10% of profits go towards funding the education of a female student at the University of Venda, South Africa.

An omnifaith site designed as a collaborative effort where users create the content by posting what equals peace to them on that day. ToMePeaceIs.com is about forming the habit of creating inner peace.
There is no fee.

Your Advertisement Here!
   Find us on Facebook  Join The Queen of My Self    
           community on Facebook
   Follow us on Twitter  Follow The Queen of My Self
          on Twitter

New daily blog launching May 17th on Beliefnet! Meaning, Moxie & Majesty for Midlife Women
Crow Flag 
 Hail Queens!

 In winter, we spend
 inordinate amounts of
 time inside, dwelling,
 stewing, stagnating in 
 enforced inactivity. When our hibernating energy finally re-awakens in the spring, it is with a pronounced case of morning breath. After the dust, the must, the rust of winter, a thorough spring cleaning is called for. 

The promise of renewed life prompts us to prepare a sacred and auspicious way for its anticipated arrival. We are moved to purge and purify ourselves, to cleanse and make our selves worthy of the grace implied in a fresh start. We make a clean sweep of our surroundings - internal and external, body and soul. 
In washing, we symbolically shed the old, discard the past, toss it out with the bath water. Thus removed of any spiritual pollution, we emerge refreshed, restored and recharged. Our slates are wiped clean. Naked and pure, purged and protected, we stand sanctified, ready to step confidently into the new season.

 Water Hands

We come to this world awash in saline womb waters and are greeted upon the moment of our first breath with a warm bath. When we die we are bathed again. We wash before we eat, before we sleep, before we pray. Most cultures, in fact, require washing before worship. Here, the ablution marks the transition from the profane sector of life to the sacred.            
Islam requires the worshipper to wash before each of the five daily prayers performed facing toward Mecca. Muslims cleanse their mouths so that their prayers will be sanctified, and their ears so that they might better hear the will of Allah.  
The Sweat Lodge Ceremony, the Inipi, as it is known to the peoples of the Great Plains, was prevalent throughout Native North America. It was, and still is, undertaken as a preparatory ritual of purification before a major spiritual endeavor, such as the Vision Quest, the Sun Dance or the Spirit-calling Ceremonies. 
Water is considered to be the most efficacious purifying agent by Hindus because when it runs, it absorbs and it carries away pollution. For this reason, rivers and other moving waters are considered to be especially cleansing. The Ganges, although filthy, is the most holy of all. It is the intention of every devout pilgrim to wash in its soul-cleansing substance. 
The priestesses and priests of Babylonia cleansed Water Sculpture
  themselves with water from
  the Tigris or Euphrates rivers
  before performing their
  religious functions. In ancient
  Egypt, as well, the pharaoh
  would purify his body for
  prayer by sprinkling himself 
  with the "water of life and
  good fortune." Ceremonial
  ablutions in the sea were
  used to initiate participants in
  a process of spiritual rebirth
  during the Eleusinian
  Mysteries, the oldest of the Greco-Roman Goddess mystery cults.

Proselytes to Judaism were bathed as an initiation rite, which sanctified the start of their new lives, reborn as true believers, members of the chosen people of the God of Israel, Yahweh. It was essential for the candidate to be completely immersed so that s/he might be truly cleansed of heathenish worship.
The Baptism rites of Protestant and Catholic alike, cleanse the way for a worshipper to move from the polluted world to the holy church, from the earthly plane to grace, from sin to salvation. Ultimately it is an initiation into the kingdom of God.
...I guess I feel about a hot bath the way those
religious people feel about holy water... The longer
I lay there in the clear hot water the purer I felt,
and when I stepped out at last and wrapped myself
in one of those big, soft, white, hotel bath towels
I felt pure and sweet, as a new baby."                            - Sylvia Plath
Cleanliness is widely perceived as being next to Godliness. The Christian concept of heaven, like the paradise envisioned by Zoroastrians, Hindus, Jews and Muslims, is a place of absolute purity and brilliant cleanliness, while hell is seen as a stinking foul pit. 
People have always used clean water to prepare for reverent engagement with the divine. But these days, really clean water is in shockingly short supply. We have sullied our rich resources with obtuse abuse, and the very elements, which have the power to cleanse and purify have now, themselves, been poisoned.  
Picture this: In the Arctic Ocean there is an uninhabited - never been inhabited - island. In the center of the island is a lake. Can you possibly imagine a more pristine image? A recent water sample from that lake revealed the presence of fifty-two chemicals. There is, after all, no wall underground to ward off contamination. And there is no such place as Away.
It's time to clean up our act, don't you think? In fact, let's start this spring.
He had a mania for washing and disinfecting
himself.... For him the only danger came from
the microbes which attack the body.  He had
not studied the microbe of conscience which
eats into the soul.
- Anaďs Nin
With best blessings for a beautiful and pure spring,

Farewell to the Chief Queen

  Wilma TurqoiseWilma Mankiller the first female
  Chief of the Cherokee Nation,
  died this month at the age of
  64. She was one of the nation's
  most visible American Indian
  leaders and one of the few
  women to lead a major tribe.
  Wilma Pearl Mankiller was born
  in 1945, the sixth of eleven children, near Rocky Mountain, Oklahoma. She first tasted the effects of federal policy toward Indians when as a child, her family ended up in a housing project in San Francisco thanks to the Bureau of Indian Affairs' Indian Relocation Program. She spent the rest of her life attempting to improve the lot of her people. When she was 17, she married and had two daughters, Felicia and Gina.

In 1969, when she was 24, she got what she called "an enormous wake-up call" and took her first step into Indian activism by participating in the 19-month occupation of Alcatraz Island.

We've had daunting problems in many critical areas, but I believe in the old Cherokee injunction to 'be of a good mind.' Today it's called positive thinking.
After getting divorced in 1975, Mankiller moved back to her family's land in Oklahoma. By 1983 she was elected deputy chief of the Cherokee Nation, alongside Ross Swimmer, who was serving his third consecutive term as principal chief. In 1985, Chief Swimmer resigned to take the position as head of the Bureau of Indian Affairs. This allowed Mankiller to become the first female principal chief. She was freely elected in 1987, and re-elected again in 1991 in a landslide victory, collecting 83% of the vote. In 1995, Mankiller chose not to run again for Chief largely due to health problems.
Chief Mankiller faced many obstacles during her terms in office. At the time she became chief, the Cherokee Nation was male-dominated. Such a structure contrasted with the traditional Cherokee culture and value system, which instead emphasized a balance between the two genders. Over the course of her three terms, Mankiller made great strides to bring back that balance and reinvigorate the Cherokee Nation through community-development projects where men and women work collectively for the common good.

I try to encourage
young women to be willing to take risks, to stand up for the things they believe in, and to step up and accept the challenge of serving in leadership roles.
As the first female chief of the Cherokees, Mankiller was
less of an activist and more of a pragmatist. She was criticized for focusing almost exclusively on social programs, instead of pushing for smoke shops and high-stakes gaming. The projects she implemented Chief Mankiller2included establishing tribally owned businesses (such
as horticultural operations and plants with government defense contracts), improving infrastructure (such as providing running water to the community of Bell, Oklahoma), and building a hydroelectric facility.
During her tenure, she led the tribe in tripling its enrollment, doubling employment and building new health centers and children's programs. She took Indian issues to the White House and met with three presidents. She earned a reputation for facing conflict head-on and she never ran away from a battle.
For many of us, water simply flows from a faucet, and we think little about it beyond this point of contact. We have lost a sense of respect for the wild river, for the complex workings of a wetland, for the intricate web of life that water supports.
- Sandra Postel

Despite her soft-spoken ferocity and her feminist stance, her name, Mankiller, did not reflect her social views - Mankiller is actually a Cherokee military title, which was adopted by one of her ancestors. But she did kid about it, often delivering a straight-faced, "Mankiller is actually a well-earned nickname."
Continual struggles with her health appeared not to deter her. A 1979 car accident nearly claimed her life and resulted in 17 operations. She developed the muscular disorder myasthenia gravis and had a kidney transplant in 1990. Mankiller had also battled lymphoma, breast cancer and several other health problems, including stage 4 metastatic pancreatic cancer, which took her life.
Queen Mankiller declared that she was "mentally and spiritually prepared for this last journey" in a statement released by the tribe in the last month of her life. "I learned a long time ago that I can't control the challenges the creator sends my way, but I can control the way I think about them and deal with them," she said
I want to be remembered as the person who helped us restore faith in ourselves.
And so shall you be. Chief. Queen. Peaceful Warrior. Role Model.

Like water, be gentle and strong. Be gentle enough to follow the natural paths of the earth, and strong enough to rise up and reshape the world.
- Brenda Peterson

Guardian Queen of Earth's Water

  Vandana ShivaAuthor and
  eco-feminist Vandana
  Shiva has long been a
  leading activist for
  women of third-world
  countries, farming and
  water sovereignty.
  According to her
  article "Empowering
  Women," she suggests
  that a more
  sustainable and productive approach to agriculture can be achieved through reinstating a system of farming in India that is more centered around engaging women. She advocates against the prevalent "patriarchal logic of exclusion," claiming that a woman-focused system would change the current system in an extremely positive manner. In this way, Indian and global food security, can only benefit from a focus on empowering women through integrating them into the agricultural system.
She describes a compelling and creative relationship between women, soil and water. Women in India often walk many miles to obtain drinking water for their families. However, they usually go no further than 10 miles to do so. At that point, they take action. Women were among the first to notice a connection between deforestation and a lack of water. As the homemakers, women are in charge of collecting drinking water. However, after deforestation campaigns, they often noticed a severe decline in the resource.
A participant of the 1970s Chipko Movement to prevent deforestation in India (see the April 2008 issue of The Chronicles), Shiva explains, "Forests used to be about revenue and timber, but then it was about water."
She also rallied against strip mining in India. Though the then-Prime Minister of India, Indira Gandhi, condemned strip mining in the Himalayan Mountains for its "ugliness," Shiva took action to prevent damage to water. "In the limestone, caves and cavities and bodies of water would form. Strip mining stole the water storage system provided by nature," she said.
Shiva tells of a 75-year-old woman who had been beaten for preventing bulldozers from further stripping the mountains. Despite her injuries, the woman carried on, calling to mind Mahatma Gandhi's nonviolent practices. "We strip foliage from trees and the leaves return. We are a part of nature, why wouldn't we bounce back as well?" Shiva said.
 In 1993, Queen Shiva received the Right Livelihood Award (also known as the 'Alternative Nobel Prize') "...For placing women and ecology at the heart of modern development discourse." Other awards she has received include the Global 500 Award of the United Nations Environment Programme (UNEP) in 1993,and the Earth Day International Award of the United Nations (UN) for her dedicated commitment to the preservation of the planet as demonstrated by her actions, leadership and by setting an example for the rest of the world.
Water Women

Vandana Shiva on water:
On the train from Delhi to Jaipur, we were served bottled water, where Pepsi's water line Aquafina was the brand of choice. On the streets of Jaipur, there was another culture of water. At the peak of drought, small thatched huts called Jal Mandirs (water temples) were put up to give water from earthen water pots as a free gift to the thirsty. Jal Mandirs are a part of an ancient tradition of setting up Piyaos, free water stands in public areas. This was a clash between two cultures: a culture that sees water as sacred and treats its provision as a duty for the preservation of life and another that sees water as a commodity, and its ownership and trade as a fundamental corporate right.

Crying is Cleansing

Humans cry two different grades of tears both of which are incredibly cleansing. The tears we shed when we get something in our eye - dust or an eyelash, for example, or while we are peeling an onion, or smelling smoke, literally washes them clean of a specific irritant.
When we weep emotional tears, we release excess stores of the hormone prolactin, which is potentially toxic if allowed to accumulate in our bodies. The fact that we flush our systems of this poison probably accounts for the fact that in one survey, 85 percent of all women and 73 percent of men testified to how much better they feel after crying. Not to mention the fact that crying produces endorphins, the happy hormone.
Research had concluded that people who cannot cry, or who consider that crying is a sign of weakness, suffer a significantly greater incidence of stress related disease such as colitis. According to a report just released, 95% of all illness is stress-related.
Woman Crying

Cry Me a River: A Ceremony for Dampened Spirits
Sometimes our life and times, with its constant bombardment of negativity and steady accumulation of stress, seems like too much to endure. Oftentimes, we aren't even consciously aware that we are annoyed, upset, dispirited. We simply carry on. We persevere. We do what we need to do. We conscientiously continue on continuing on, ignoring our feelings, suppressing our sadness. Until the day comes when we can stand it no longer.
Ironically, after we have struggled and succeeded in surviving the long, bleak, depressing months of winter, spring, with its bursting rush of energy often makes our despondency worse. We can barely contain all that sweet, tender freshness. The dams break and our constricted emotions overflow. We find ourselves weeping helplessly at Hallmark commercials, completely appalled that we could succumb to such blatant emotional manipulation. This is spring cleaning for the soul.
If I Had My Life to Live Over I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life.
- Erma Bombeck, written soon after she found out that she was dying from cancer
But, then again, sometimes we just can't cry. We feel like it. We want to. We need to. But we can't let go. We are bound tight by some excruciating kind of crippling constipation of expression. I recently experienced a series of disappointments and setbacks. I stewed and stomped and swore, but I couldn't find release. Then, one evening after bending down to put something away, I stood up quickly and smacked my head into an open kitchen cabinet door. That did it. I burst into tears, bawled like a baby, and within moments I felt much, much better.
There is nothing quite so satisfying as a nice, good cry. Tears are cleansing and refreshing, but there are certainly more agreeable ways to achieve the unburdening relief that they offer than by banging your head against a wall. Over the years I have developed a personal ritual, a Cry Fest, wherein I indulge in the consolation of blatant lamentation. For two solid days I allow myself to weep and wallow, really revel in royal melancholy, after which I am renewed and ready to face anything.
Here are some suggested preparations for your own Cry Fest: Set aside a weekend when you can be alone. Stock up on your favorite comfort foods. I usually do it while fasting, but you can use ice cream or wine or Chinese food or whatever else you crave for solace. Rent at least twelve tearjerker tapes. Take a long, hot bath and settle into bed or onto the sofa for the marathon. Make sure you have handy a box of ultra soft tissues near the sofa, or better yet, a pile of lace trimmed, embroidered and crocheted hankies. Turn on the TV and let it flow, let it flow, let it flow.
Some Tear Jerkers
Recommended by Our Readers
A Night to Remember
Antonia's Line
Back Street
Brian's Song
Bridges of Madison County
Dark Victory
Days of Wine and Roses
Dr. Zhivago
Empire of the Sun
Frankie and JohnnyCrying Woman
I Want to Live
Jules et Jim
Little Big Man
Now Voyager
Sophie's Choice
Stella Davis
Strangers in Good Company
The Bear
The Children's Hour
The Heiress
The Lion King
The Miracle Worker
The Music Box
The Old Maid
The Spitfire Grill
The Way We Were
Two Women
With a Song in My Heart
Check out the subject index of the "Video Hound's Golden Movie Retriever" (Visible Ink Press/Gale Research.) It lists three columns of tearjerkers.

Madonna Virgo Dolorosa

Madonna Virgo Dolorosa
Queen of Love and Pain and Sadness,
Long-Suffering Lady of Perpetual Sorrows,
Purified by Her tears.
Who pursues the path of heartfelt passion
To heights and depths and breadths unfathomed.
Who practices faith and patience; infinite persistence,
Trusting, come what may.
Who plunges directly through the darkness, 
Through the swamps and sweats, the sucking shallows,
Through twisted tunnels and around blind bends,
Through delusion, through denial,
Through to destined ends.

Crying Madonna
The Queen's Court

moon goddess The Queen's Court is a 
 gathering of sovereign
 women of a certain
 age - our dear peers - who
 graciously offer information,
 guidance, inspiration and
 encouragement to each

  We Queens know what we
 know. And we know a great
 deal. Our experience has
 made us wise. So, feel free to consult with our cyber council/counsel when you are need of sage advice or wish to explore a particular topic of interest.

I have taken our ongoing discussion about the definitions and descriptions of Queendom to
The Queen of My Self Fan Page on Facebook.

This royal court of ours is off to a great start. What an amazing gathering of wise, wonderful sovereigns. The daily posts are enlightening and inspiring. Our exchange has proven the worth of our sovereignty. The participating members are mighty Queens, steadfast in adversity and generous in compassion. What an honor they bestow on all women everywhere!
If you are in need of inspiration and encouragement, the comments offered by our sister Queens offer an enormous wealth of both. Do join us and add your wisdom to The Queen's Court.
Q: The Queen does not invite hard times and trouble, but She chooses to use them well. Suffering is the midwife of compassion. How has this been true for you?
- Queen Mama Donna
A: Oh yes! This year, I celebrate 30 years of suffering and learning from my great teacher: severe scalp psoriasis. THANK YOU, Great Teacher, for all the lessons, the pain, the bliss, the wonder. I LOVE YOU!!
- Sheryll, CA
A: This hit home for me last year when my mother passed away from cancer. Although I have had many friends and their loved ones live and die from and through cancer, I couldn't relate truly until I experienced it in my family. It impacted my compassion and empathy so much for those suffering not just from cancer but other illnesses as well.
- Jami, WA
A: Tough love at the moment. I've just returned from teaching in China. I may be a Queen but I'm living at home, on a couch, no job, no apt, no car and no interviews yet. Compassion? Trying to love myself through the changes. Good news is, everything changes - even the hard times.
- Jessica, RI
A: At the age of 49, I've finally learned to stay in conscious contact with Spirit when I am in a "good" space. Previously, I needed the suffering and hard times to consistently remind me to reconnect and to listen.
- Debra, NH
A: The hard times and the bad times and the losses have made me a stronger and therefore more compassionate person. I can't say that I have overcome every bad thing that has happened to me, but the ones I have, have taught me just how much I can do, how strong I can become. Have faith in yourself, you are so much more that you think you are, especially you are so much more than you think you are when things get harsh. Arise , go forth and show 'em some moxie.
- l.a., PA
A: We need to know that without the suffering we would never know joy! Be grateful for it all. Been where you are, Jessica, and it DOES get better!!! Prayers, love & light coming your way :)
- Lori, NY
A: Unfortunately it can seem to take FOREVER for the end of suffering and it can take forever for the "better" thing to come along. This is why patience and hope is important also!
- Karen, NV
A: What happens when suffering feels better/more real/like the only truth? have you ever found yourself making the choice to suffer something because it is a more extreme feeling? what happens when The Queen realizes she just might be inviting the hard times and trouble? (but balances the suffering with a very romanticized positivity, wine, and her fortress of sisters...)
Katrina Dixon , NY
A: She is not inviting the trouble, but choosing to focus on the pain. Pain is familiar. Sometimes it is seemingly safer than an unknown, untested faith in possibility. So a shift in focus is what is needed. It is so important to dwell on what we want, rather than what we fear we won't have, or might lose. And that does take an enormous discipline. Remember, energy goes where we send it. This thought changed my life. Perhaps you will find it helpful, too: "Worry is like praying for what we don't want!"
A: Losing my mom to the effects of diabetes and my seventeen-year old niece to cancer taught me about strength, compassion, and living in the moment.
- Not My Real Name
A: Divorce and unemployment have helped me find my own inner happiness. Now I am going back to school for my MBA. Hardship has not held me back, but propelled me forward.
- Jennifer, CO
A: Choose gratitude, when there you have a center from which to send compassionate energy.
- Christina, NY
I would love to further this discussion. Do send in your definitions, descriptions and declarations of Queendom.

Please send your questions or responses to thequeenofmyself@aol.com. Your letters will be printed in the next Queen's Chronicles.

The Queen's Correspondence

 moon goddessThanks so much for taking
 the time to respond to
 The Queen's Chronicles
 Please keep your 
 comments coming. And
 do feel free to make
 suggestions about  
 content you would like to
 see. Or anything else, for that 
 matter. It is a joy to connect
 with you.

Letters In Response To
The March 2010 Issue:

A wonderful Chronicle! I've recently started a yoga class that includes women 30 or so years younger. It certainly helps to read this.
Happy Spring,
- C., NY
Love this issue as always! Lots of inspirational, motivational food for thought.
- Cyndi, TX
I was just at the eye doctor and there was an amazing old woman there. It turned out that she was 98-years old. She made me think of just how inspiring the last issue on aging was. I hope to be 98-years old one day, and brimming with wisdom and compassion.
- Shara, ID
I enjoy your creative site and newsletters so much.
- Carole, CO
What I love about The Queen's Chronicles is the mix of profound thinking and good humor. I so enjoyed the letter to the bank written by that feisty old dame in England. Rich!
- Renae, AK
Thanks bunches for keeping me on my Queenly path. Sometimes I just need a blast of encouragement and I always find it here in the pages of The Chronicles.
- Sarabelle, GA
You have single-handedly taken away my fear of aging! What a relief!
- Joanne, FL
I am never disappointed in the information you manage to research and offer us. It is always enlightening, inspiring, and very often funny, as well. What a great mix. Thank you so very much.
- Gail, Ontario, Canada

Please send your responses to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.
Your letters will be printed in the next Queen's Chronicles.

Kudos to the Queens!

clapping hands rotated

 This became a credo of mine:
 attempt the impossible in order to
 improve your work.
  - Bette Davis

Lynn Book, NC; Stephanie Brody-Laderman, NY; Karen Finley, NY; Barbara Hammer, NY; Judith Hoffbery, CA (R.I.P.); Marjorie Kouns, NY; Lucy Lippard, ME; Alyson Pou, NY; Christy Rupp, NY; Karen Shaw, NY; Nina Sobell, NY; Robin Tewes, NYLinda Vallejo, CA; on the exhibitions of their work.
Karen Ethelsdattar, NJ, Earthwalking and Other Poems (Book); Jane Meredith, Australia, Aphrodite's Magic (Book); Dr. Ruth Simpkin, Canada, The Jagged Years of Ruthie P. (Book); Nancy Spero, NY, (R.I.P.), Torture of Women (Book); on their new publications.

Jane Petro, MA, on the birth of her grandson, Liam James Petro.
Donna Degnan, NY, on the opening of her new business.

Send your good news, achievements, accomplishments, successes and celebrations so that our international circle of sovereign sisters can send you blessings and accolades.
And we are glad to so. It is a joy and a privilege to share in the fortune of another woman. I recently heard Oprah say the saddest thing ever - "The hardest thing about being successful is having someone to be glad for you."

It takes a centered and confident Queen to break that pattern. There are 60 million thrones out there. One for each of us. There is plenty of purpose, passion and power for us all. May we use it well!

It is important that you recognize your progress and take pride in your accomplishments. Share your achievements with others. Brag a little. The recognition and support of those around you is nurturing.
- Rosemarie Rossetti

Circle of Concern

Helping Hands Circle 
 Please Offer Your
 Purest Thoughts,
 Prayers, Your Great 
Feelings, And
 Your Very Best
For Healing
 and Peace of Mind To:


Alice, NY; Amy, NY; Annie, MA; Betty, AL; Carol, NY; Cat, NY; Chrissie, NY; Deirdre, NY; Devidam, NY; Edie, PA; Ellen, NY; Erica, England; Gail, OH; Geraldine, ID; Glenys, Australia; Jane, NY; Jeanmarie, HI; Jill, PA; Jo, AZ; Kathy, RI; Kimi, NJ; Leslie, NY; Letitia, VA; Linda, NY; Linda, NY; Lisa, PA; Lucia, TX; Lynne, NY; Marcia, WA; Matild Cathy, NY; Nancy, NY; Naomi, DC; Pili, NY; Randy, MA; Reid, DE; Reynolds, NY; Shari, NY; Shirley, IN; Smriti, CA; Susan, NY; Terry, NY; Wai, NY; and Yvette, NY who are in the process of healing themselves from illness, accident, injury or surgery.
Amy, NY; Daile, NY; Donna, NY; Kayla, NY; Lee, NJ; Lois, NY; Meryl, NY; Nancy, NC; and Roslyn, NJ, the caregivers who are in weary need of care themselves.

May Their Spirits Rest in Peace:
Dixie Carter, CA
Julie Grahm, MA
Judith Hoffberg, CA
Wilma Mankiller, OK

With Sincere Condolences:

Beverly Nadelman, NY
Please send your requests for physical and spiritual healing and positive energy so that the powerful women of The Queen's Court might send their prayers and blessings to you in your time of need.

Our sense of community and compassionate intelligence must be extended to all life forms, plants, animals, rocks, rivers, and human beings. This is the story of our past and it will be the story of our future.
- Terry Tempest Williams

Where the Queens Are

moon goddess


I'm reaching a milestone of age. It ends in zero, but I won't say that the first number is six. LOL. I'm having difficulty accepting that I'm going to be that old soon, but there it is, right on the calendar. 2010 - 1950 = 60. When I turned 30, I cried. I felt that the best years of my live were over. When I turned forty, I got drunk. The fact that I was always getting drunk is beside the point. When I turned 50, I laughed. I was sober and the world was mine. I was old enough to know better, but still young enough to do it anyway.
I didn't do it.
Now, I'm facing 60. It's not a birthday that is as celebrated as turning 50. There's no "Over The Hill At Sixty" banners in the stores. It's almost as if society doesn't want to acknowledge that people are older than 50, and if they are, it's certainly not worthy of note. Like the herd of elephants in my family's living room; maybe if we close our eyes, we won't have to acknowledge them.
Upon this event, I am contemplative. I look back at my life and conclude that I really didn't do much with it and at times, I really screwed up. I look back at my life and see where certain events irrevocably knocked me off my proposed path and times when I chose to divert from the planned way. Every choice, every event, everything has left me here, in Knox, NY, in a trailer, in the woods, living alone with my four cats. Now what?
I decided to clean up my home. I hadn't been able to do "heavy" cleaning since March 2007 because of injuries, so you can imagine how dirty it is/was.
I started it all by deciding to install an in-wall medicine cabinet in my bathroom. I already had one, which I was going to use in my house (that I don't have the money to finish building) and thought I might as well enjoy it now. I picked up my reciprocating saw and set to cut a hole in the wall over the sink. It's still not finished, mainly because I don't quite know what I'm doing. The "knowledge" is in my head but there seem to be interruptions between brain and hand. It's in, but the wall on the left side of it is kind of..... well, not perfect, ya' know? I'm still working on the doors to it. In amongst my dusty stained glass supplies, I found a piece of glass that looks FABULOUS in the one smaller door, so that was good. I have to sand them so they won't hit each other when they close.
Repainting the walls with the same color paint surprised me as the original paint had become so dingy and faded that the new paint almost looked like the wrong color!! It also surprised me that it made the rest of the house look dingy and faded as well as dusty and dirty. That medicine cabinet project started the ongoing "refreshment" of my home - end to end.
I'm the type of person who can't just stay on one task until it's done. I just can't do it. I get frustrated and so move on to something else that can be done. My bathroom, my bedroom, the living room and the "other" bathroom are in the midst of being cleaned, repainted and generally fixed up. I now have a purple bedroom! It looks great! (When I Am Old I Shall Sleep In A Purple Bedroom!)

Susan Snapp

I always have been a the-walls-have-to-be-off-white type of woman; anything goes with it except white-white. Now, however, after having seen the inside of a new younger friend's house with the beautiful colors on the walls of her home, I thought I'd defy that "law" and paint colors on my walls. My living room is now a dusty rose color, with "Natural Linen" on the ceiling. Well, part of the ceiling anyway. That still needs to be finished.
I'm also purging my belongings; a good 30% of my clothing has gone into the Salvation Army box. It feels good to "unload" stuff. I picked up each individual article and made one of three decisions; 1) I wear it and like it so will keep it; 2) I don't wear it, but it's in good shape and I like it so will give it to a person I know; 3) I never wear it, it's not that good, so into the SA box. Don't get me wrong here, my closet is still packed with stuff.
On Monday, my sister, my brother-in-law and my daughter, Ashley, are coming out to help me move some of the furniture, etc., out to the building that was going to be my house. AKA the garage. The buffet of the dining room set which was my grandmother's, the table of that same set, the table of "my" dining room set which had been waiting to be placed in the dining room of the house, two brass single bed frames, several book shelves, a bedroom dresser and boxes and boxes and boxes of stuff; camping gear, fishing gear, two extra sets of dishes, my stained glass supplies and instruments, tents and gazebos, candle making supplies.
The beginning of what I see as a general purging of belongings, spiritual aspects, bodily aspects and maybe emotional ones, too, that just no longer serve me.
Come to think of it, some of them never did.
Susan Snapp

Please Submit Your Royal Reports

Tell us about your Self and/or your Queen Group: who, what, where, when, why?
What Queenly topics do you explore?
What projects do you engage in?
Describe some golden moments.
Send pictures!  

It is my hope that as more and more women rise to reign in the fullest potential of our supremacy, we will harness our purpose, passion, and power and direct it toward creating a more balanced and peaceful world. This is the legacy of Her majesty.

Lucretia's Crown

Turn Your
Midlife Crisis
into Your Crowning Achievement!