Queenlogoyellow
The Queen's Chronicles
Inspiration for an Influential, Passionate and Powerful Maturity
February 2010
In This Issue
Calendar Girls
Audrey Hepburn's Beauty Tips
On Beauty and Age

About
Queen Mama Donna

Donnanewsidebar

Donna Henes is an internationally renowned urban shaman, award-winning author, popular speaker and workshop leader whose joyful celebrations of celestial events have introduced ancient traditional rituals and contemporary ceremonies to millions of people in more than 100 cities since 1972. She has published four books, a CD, an acclaimed quarterly journal and currently writes for the Huffington Post and UPI (United Press International) Religion and Spirituality Forum. Mama Donna, as she is affectionately called, maintains a ceremonial center, spirit shop, ritual practice and consultancy in Exotic Brooklyn, NY where she offers intuitive tarot readings and spiritual counseling and works with individuals, groups, institutions, municipalities and corporations to create meaningful ceremonies for every imaginable occasion.

Good News!

bookcover

The Queen of My Self is celebrating its 5th Anniversary and also its 2nd printing.
 
To mark this milestone and as a measure of my appreciation, I am offering a complimentary Great Women Rulers of the World ruler for every book ordered through the website.

Women Rulers

This offer is good through Women's History Month, March 2010. 


Quick Links...


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I tell you, I was reading your book and thinking, "that sly Mama Donna knew. She just knew the power of her words." They are powerful. 
- Alison, MI


Calling All Queens!

The Queen's Chronicles

Offers upbeat, practical and ceremonial inspiration for all women who want to enjoy the fruits of an influential, passionate, and powerful maturity.


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present box purpleTo The Queen's Chronicles
 
My dear sister Queens,

Writing The Queen's Chronicles is a joy and an honor - a labor of true love - but, the fact remains that it takes a great deal of time and effort and requires the services of a techno-cyber Queen to be able to offer it each month. Consequently, after two years of publishing, the royal coffers are sadly diminished and in desperate need of replenishing.
 
Your donations will allow me to continue to provide you with a monthly offering of information and inspiration for an influential, passionate and powerful maturity.
 
I thank you so much for your royal support. With your help, The Queen's Chronicles can maintain its mission to promote meaning, moxie, magic and majesty to women in midlife.
 
With regal blessings,
 
xxQueen Mama Donna
 
CLICK HERE TO MAKE A TAX DEDUCTABLE DONATION

THANK YOU!

Thank you so much for your advice! Its like I knew it all along I just needed to hear it from someone else. Again, thank you! Love and light.
- Rebecca, MA
 
Are you looking for meaning, moxie, magic and majesty in midlife?

Consult the
Midlife Midwife

bio portrait

The transition from Maiden and Mother to Queen can be a difficult one, fraught with hard lessons and lots of loss. It takes great determination and courage to confront and embrace the changes brought about by the midlife passage.

It can be really helpful during this confusing time to have the inspiration, advice and encouragement of a counselor/coach/mentor - someone who has been there and done that and is ready to help you do the same.

Queen Mama Donna offers upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity.

xxQMD

TURN YOUR MIDLIFE CRISIS INTO YOUR CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT!

Further information: www.thequeenofmyself.com
Click on Individual Consultations.

Sessions are available in person and by phone. To make an appointment, call 718-857-1343 or email the Queen at TheQueenOfMySelf@aol.com


Everyone has inside of him (sic) a piece of good news. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!
- Anne Frank


A Queen Event
Near You
UU NC
North Carolina Unitarian Universalist
Conference Queens


FEBRUARY

GLOBAL
 
FEBRUARY 1-28
MAMA DONNA'S HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAROT CLUB
1/3 off reading for February Birthdays. In person or by phone.
For info: 718-857-1343
cityshaman@aol.com 


MARCH
 
GLOBAL
 
MARCH 1-31
MAMA DONNA'S HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAROT CLUB
1/3 off reading for March Birthdays. In person or by phone.
For info: 718-857-1343
cityshaman@aol.com

MARCH 2
TUESDAY, 7PM EST
Interview with Keleah Laroche on Dispelling the Myths with
Kaleah Radio.
www.sedonatalkradio.com/dispelling-the-myths-with-kaleah
 
MARCH 3
WEDNESDAY, 8:00 PM EST
**TELESEMINAR: PSYCHIC PROTECTION FROM ENERGY VAMPIRES: Spirit-Depleting People, Places and Predicaments
A Spirit Support Skills Workshop 
Learn how to protect yourself against the predators and parasites who steal away your personal power and resolve.
$25 per seminar.
Or register for all 3 teleclasses in the series (the first Wednesday each month)** Only $60.
(April 7 - Spiritual Spring Cleaning: Detoxing Body, Mind, Spirit, and Home
May 5 - Staying Centered in Stress, Storm, and Chaos: Holding the Spirit in Hard Times)
For info or to register:
www.donnahenes.net/pages/teleseminars.shtml
718-857-1343
cityshaman@aol.com

 
NEW YORK
 
MARCH 20
SATURDAY
1:00 PM EDT  Event starts
1:32 PM EDT  Equinox moment
35TH ANNUAL WORLD FAMOUS EQUINOX CELEBRATION:
Eggs on End: Standing on Ceremony

A family friendly event. Bring kids, drums, percussion instruments and plenty of spirit. Call to volunteer.
Call for venue
For info: 718-857-1343
cityshaman@aol.com
FREE

APRIL

 
GLOBAL
 
APRIL 1-30
MAMA DONNA'S HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAROT CLUB
1/3 off reading for April Birthdays. In person or by phone.
For info: 718-857-1343
cityshaman@aol.com

APRIL 7
WEDNESDAY, 8:00 PM EDT
**TELESEMINAR: SPIRITUAL SPRING CLEANING: Detoxing Body, Mind, Spirit, and Home  
A Spirit Support Skills Workshop 
Learn how to detox and declutter in order to sweep away the detritus that clogs your body, fogs your brain, and bogs you down. Purify and sanctify your body, mind, spirit, and living/working space.
$25 per seminar.
$60 if you register for all 3 teleclasses in the series**

For info or to register:
www.donnahenes.net/pages/teleseminars.shtml
718-857-1343
cityshaman@aol.com

APRIL 13, 2010
TUESDAY, 1PM EDT
Radio interview with Maryanne Comaroto on Maryanne Live!
www.healthylife.net
 
APRIL 14, 2010
WEDNESDAY, 12PM EDT
Radio interview with Raven Blair Davis on Woman Power Talk Radio
www.womenpower-radio.com

CONNECTICUT
 
APRIL 29 - MAY 2
THURSDAY EVENING - SUNDAY  BELTAINE FESTIVAL: A PAGAN ODYSSEY
Mama Donna is a guest workshop leader and ritualist. Hosted by the Panthean Temple.
For information: 203-660-1369
PaganOdyssey@aol.com
www.paganodyssey.com

MAY
 
GLOBAL
 
MAY 1-31
MAMA DONNA'S HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAROT CLUB
1/3 off reading for April Birthdays. In person or by phone.
For info: 718-857-1343
cityshaman@aol.com
 
MAY 5
WEDNESDAY, 8:00 PM EST
**TELESEMINAR: STAYING CENTERED IN STRESS, STORM AND CHAOS: Holding the Spirit in Hard Times
A Spirit Support Skills Workshop 
Learn simple body/mind/spirit techniques to help you keep your perspective, sanity, clarity, equilibrium, good cheer and positive attitude intact during the toughest of times.
$25 per seminar.
$60 if you register for all 3 teleclasses in the series**

For info or to register:
www.donnahenes.net/pages/teleseminars.shtml
718-857-1343
cityshaman@aol.com


JUNE
 
GLOBAL
 
JUNE 1-30
MAMA DONNA'S HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAROT CLUB
 
1/3 off reading for June Birthdays. In person or by phone.
 
For info: 718-857-1343
cityshaman@aol.com
 
 
PENNSYLVANIA
 
JUNE 2 - 6
THURSDAY - SUNDAY
SPIRIT OF WOMONGATHERING
Mama Donna will be hosting an entire Queen Weekend! Including several workshops and rituals at this annual gathering. She will also have her Spirit Shop there and be available for Tarot readings.
 
Information and registration:
856-694-2037
www.womongathering.com
 
NEW YORK
 
JUNE 21
MONDAY morning,
7;15 AM event starts
7:28 AM Solstice moment
34th ANNUAL SUMMER SOULSTICE CELEBRATION
 
A sizzling Celebration of Summer. Drum up the sun!
 
Pier 16 South Street Seaport
Manhattan
For info: 718-857-1343
cityshaman@aol.com
FREE
 
 
JUNE 21
MONDAY, 8:00 PM
SUNSET SOLSTICE CELEBRATION
 
A sizzling Celebration of Summer. A family friendly event. Bring kids, dogs, drums and lots of spirit.
 
Socrates Sculpture Park
32-01 Vernon Blvd., Long Island City, Queens
For info: 718-956-1819
www.socratessculpturepark.org
FREE



crownalone

Have Crown,
Will Travel!


To discuss booking Queen Mama Donna for a reading, presentation, ritual, workshop or a keynote address in your area, call her at 718-857-1343 or e-mail her at TheQueenOfMySelf@aol.com
 
group

A weekend with Donna Henes opens the door to the magic of sisterhood and fills the room with inspiration, laughter, hugs, and tears. The power and wonder of womanhood prevails as everyone tells their stories and shares their dreams. The space becomes safe enough to express the deepest fears and most tragic experiences and we all realize that none of us live ordinary lives. Donna offers the participants the tools to hold their lives together, and celebrate the years they have lived and those to come. Each woman left as the Queen she was destined to be.
- Pat Worth, Director 
Someday Farm Spiritual Center
Killingworth, CT


The Queen's Emporium


Anita Roddick

Make sure to visit The Queen's Emporium, which specializes in all manner of elegant, practical, and frivolous goods to fulfill all the royal needs and fantasies of The Queen of Your Self. Therein you will find a choice collection of goods to augment and accessorize your royal prerogative.

Anoint, Adorn, Enjoy!

The Queen's Oil of Empowerment is a dandy little ritual. Every morning I bless my Self before going out into the world. It helps me stay in a place of personal sovereignty.
- Charlene, UT
 
My women's group starts every meeting by blessing each other with power.
- Faye, ME
 
THE QUEEN'S OIL OF EMPOWERMENT

A ritual in a bottle. Use this oil to bless your Self with the sovereignty that you seek. Made by Queen Mama Donna, herself.
2 oz. bottle in gauze bag
$35 (Includes shipping in the USA)


bottle


ORDER YOURS TODAY!

The Queen's Emporium

The Queen
on the Record


Read and listen to Queen Mama Donna's words of information and inspiration.

* indicates newest entries

Regular Columns:

Always in Season
*
The Huffington Post

Ask Your Mama
Pagan Pages
The Oracle
Catalyst
New Age Journal
UPI Religion and Spirituality

Recent Articles about QMD:

The Daily Beast
The Village Voice
100 Predictions by Top Psychics
Ode
Huffington Post
Beliefnet
NY Arts Examiner
New York Times
Village Voice
Whole Life Times
Common Ground
Chicago Tribune
Houston Chronicle
The New York Observer
Boston Patriot Ledger
Minneapolis Star Tribune
ODE Magazine
Gaia Community
Arizona Daily Star
Variety Magazine column Stylephile feature
Martha Stewart online
CA Psychics Newsletter

Recent Articles by QMD:
Women's Wellness Magazine
Global Grind
SIBYL Magazine
In LA Magazine

Regular Articles:
Ezine Articles
Soulful Living
Selfgrowth
Shaman Portal
Global Goddess

YouTube:
Mama Donna Blesses the Fleet
Blessing of the Hudson River
Eggs on End spring Equinox Ceremony with Mama Donna
Mama Donna Blesses the Halloween Parade
Inauguration Purification Ritual. Part 1
Inauguration Purification Ritual. Part 2
Stock Exchange Blessing with Mama Donna
Mama Donna House Blessing
Mama Donna Blesses Wall Street
Mama Donna Henes, Urban Shaman
Vernal Equinox with Mama Donna
Interview with Marion Weinstein

Recent Radio Interviews:
The Author Show with Don McCauley
What the Animals Tell me Radio with Flash Silvermoon
*Spirit 2 Spirit Connection Radio with Aricia La France
Intuitive Soul Radio with Laurie Huston
Passions and Possibilities
Charmed Life Radio with Victoria Moran
Nurturing the Nurturers with
It's All About Romance with Al Cole. Part II
Dr. Teena Cahill
Authors Read

Podcasts:
www.podbean.com
www.blogtalkradio.com
Women Talk Live Radio
Heal Yourself Talk Radio with Rebecca White
Personal Life Media
Podcast Directory

Blog:
Amazon
Beliefnet
Blogger
Daily OM
Gaia
Livejournal
Soulfulliving
Wordpress

Wikipedia listing:
Donna Henes

Social Networks:
Follow Queen Mama Donna on
Facebook
LinkedIn
Myspace
Twitter

Awards:
*Mama Donna's website www.DonnaHenes.net received a Best Spiritual Site Award!

Queen Mama Donna was named Baby Boom Woman Blogger to watch out for in 2008 for The Queen's Chronicles by Virtual Woman's Day!

Rewards:
You!

* indicates newest entries


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Welcome back to our loyal advertisers. Thank you for your support and your desire to network with our fabulous royal readers around the globe.
 
May you be successful in your endeavors and blessed with spiritual and material abundance.

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The Queen's Chronicles!  

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Advertising listings in the Queen's Chronicles are available for $50/per issue with significant discounts for ongoing listings.

For more information and to place your order contact: thequeenofmyself@aol.com or call 718-857-1343.

Royal Resources
for Queenly Women

Our extended circle of Queens includes some mightily talented women. Please support them by availing yourself of their superior services and by buying their excellent products.

Dr. Susan Corso
Omnifaith spiritual insights for
 seekers and finders

Eve's Garden
Celebrating the sacred power of women's sexual energy

Feldenkrais Associates
Discover the Feldenkrais Method with Amber Barbara Grumet, director of Feldenkrais Associates. Become aware of how you move in order to improve your overall functioning. Through group lessons or individual hands-on sessions you learn to expand your potential in all areas.
For info: 212 242-2309 or amber@feldenkraisassociates.com

Maguire Pubic Relations

Expertise in journalism and marketing qualifies us to position and deliver the news of our clients.

Menopause Support Group
A community of patients, family members and friends dedicated to dealing with Menopause, together. Register for free.

MLA Editorial Services
Whether you're looking to publish with a top trade house, a prestigious academic press, or are considering self-publishing your work, we can help you shape and polish your manuscript to the highest professional standards. We specialize in serious nonfiction. More than 20-years experience.

Licensed Acupuncturist and Chinese Herbalist.Focusing on women's health and other chronic issues

Spruce Shore Cottage
Restore yourself on the Maine coast. Lovely cabin for rent. Minutes from Acadia National Park. Ocean, sky, full kitchen. Contact
Weslea Sidon via email
or call 207-244-9897


Talking to the Goddess  
An anthology of blessings, prayers, invocations, chants, oriki and other sacred writings by 72 women (including Queen Mama Donna) from 25 different spiritual traditions. 10% of profits go towards funding the education of a female student at the University of Venda, South Africa.

ToMePeaceIs.com
An omnifaith site designed as a collaborative effort where users create the content by posting what equals peace to them on that day. ToMePeaceIs.com is about forming the habit of creating inner peace. There is no fee.

Your Advertisement Here!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE QUEEN!

In honor of the 5th Anniversary of the publication of The Queen of My Self, I have established virtual branches of The Queen's Court on Facebook and Twitter so that we can maintain communication between issues of The Queen's Chronicles. Feel free to join us! Leave your questions and comments, share your proud accomplishments and request spiritual support.

Become a Fan of The Queen of My Self on Facebook.
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Follow The Queen of My Self on Twitter.
Crow Flag  Mirror, Mirror
 
  Hail Queens!


  Like most women,
  I can't help but
  notice the parts of myself that have slumped and sagged as I've aged. The bags under my eyes now have over-night valises of their own. The veins in my legs and on the backs of my hands are starting to show through in blue. And forget my figure. Everything not tied down has long since fallen: my breasts, my belly, my once taut neck. I can easily commiserate with the South African writer Nadine Gordimer, who once commented, "I'm forty-nine but I could be twenty-five except for my face and legs."
 
But do I mind? Not really.
  
I love the fact that we lose our vision and our Make Up Womanyouthful beauty at the same time. What we can't see can't hurt us. It is a brilliant kindness to our vanity that reinforces in me the belief that God is surely a Goddess. Who wears her reading glasses when gazing into a mirror? As I squint at myself while trying to keep my lipstick confined to the general vicinity of my lips, I think "Well, hey, I don't look so bad!" If beauty is all in the eyes of the beholder, the blinder to flaws the better.
 
The simple and irrefutable truth is that as we age, we change. The Queen knows about change and embraces it with magnanimous grace and good humor, as part and parcel of the ongoing mythic adventure of Her life. When someone told Gloria Steinem that she didn't look forty, she famously replied, "This is how forty looks." And that goes double now that she is nearly 80.
 
The Queen refuses to condescend or conform to the adolescent and exploitative standard of beauty promulgated by popular culture. She does not deign to compare herself with teenage models or emaciated-lifted-stitched-tucked-injected-Hollywood-uber-beauties.
 
I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.
- Joan Rivers
 
Tens of millions strong, we women in midlife are busily engaged in the process of rewriting the rules of beauty, style and sexiness as we explore, express and celebrate the diverse parameters of our own individual appeal.
 
  Make Up Woman 2Queens that we are, 
  we understand that 
  there is a difference 
  between looking
  young and looking
  attractive - between,
  for that matter, looking attractive and being attractive. A truly mature, secure woman accepts the inevitable physical changes that come with the passing of time and incorporates them into the way she presents herself to the world.
 
The striking results of a recent poll of midlife women showed that almost 48% of the respondents were "completely" satisfied and another 44% were "somewhat" satisfied by the way they looked." That is an astonishing 92% in all! Nearly nine out of ten women - 88%  - indicated that they were pleased with their appearance, period, age not being a factor. But even while these women were generally so accepting of their appearance, the study revealed that the highest priorities of these women as they aged were internal. Ninety-five percent of them said that feeling good about themselves was "essential."
 
It matters more what's in a woman's face than what's on it.
- Claudette Colbert
 
  Beautiful SmileSelf-aware, Self-
  assured, the Queen
  transforms Her Self
  as She goes. She
  glows as She grows
  into Her full
  potential, and
  becomes ever more
  becoming. Her
  reinvigorated attractiveness stems from Self-knowledge and enfranchisement, Her magnetic sensuality is centered in the fulfillment and satisfaction of Her Self-worth. She exudes the intoxicating appeal of a woman who is at heart, pleased with Her Self.
 
I received this wonderfully refreshing letter recently from a sister Queen who is definitely pleased with her Self:
 
"...Despite the anticipation and the promise of something potentially special, he was not attractive to me. And I think that's important - that although I have had my misgivings about meeting someone as I am - overweight and older - I felt attractive and lively and lovely and charming and desirable in many ways. My inner womanly, Queenly core, was quite strong - it never dawned on me to feel less than attractive. And I thank you all for helping me to feel that. Our circle of love and faith in one another has just added to the pool, the large pond, the lake, the sea of deep-rooted sense of Good Self that stays, no matter what..."
 
Brava!
 
It gets easier as you get older. You accept yourself for who you are - your flaws and your attributes. It's easier to live in your own skin.
- Barbra Streisand
 
With best blessings for a positive Self image,
 
signature

Calendar Girls

Calendar Girls Main

In 1998 Angela Baker of Yorkshire Dales, England, lost her husband to non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. As a tribute to the memory of John Baker, she and ten of her colleagues from the Women's Institute decided to raise money for leukemia and lymphoma research. But how?

 
Someone had the bold and brazen idea to put out a nude calendar of themselves - normally conventional, sedate ladies in their middle years. The youngest was 47 and the oldest, 65. Wearing little more than a smile and a trademark set of pearls, they were photographed in typical scenes, their modesty protected only by a baby-grand piano, a teapot and sprouting broccoli on a vegetable patch.

Calendar Girls 2 

The self-published calendar was released officially on April 12, 1999. It was an instant sensation with the first printing selling out in a week. 10,000 more copies were made during a massive second printing and that was gone after just three more weeks. Word spread quickly about the calendar, and the international press soon jumped on the story.
 
By December of 1999, just nine months after its launch, the calendar had sold 88,000 copies, and raised some $550,000 for leukemia research. That number has grown significantly since then, especially after Workman Publishing released an American version of the calendar.
 
In an interview John Baker's wife, Calendar Girl Angela Baker, said the following, "We are constantly amazed at the response we had, and still get, to our Calendar. I cannot believe that we were able to raise so much money and I am delighted that it is being spent on such worthwhile research. I know that John would be tremendously honored to know that we have achieved so much..."
 
Over the next decade, they found themselves traveling the world, being portrayed in a West End play and by Dame Helen Mirren in a film, and have now raised around £2 million for Leukemia Research. Meanwhile, almost every fire brigade and sports team in the United Kingdom have followed their lead.
Calendar Girls Movie 
Actress Glenda Jackson was one of the calendar's sponsors, which likely helped to ignite interest. Jackson is a member of the British Parliament where she serves as Labor MP for Hamstead and Highgate. She is the only British Parliament Member to have won an Oscar.
 
Six members of the Yorkshire-based Women's Institute with a combined age of 379-years old have been reunited for a new 2010 calendar in living color. Now "we definitely have to have bigger props," joked Queen Baker, 63, who can be seen playing the piano in February. She continued, "I was a bit apprehensive about color, because older women can look a bit funny in color, and we wanted it to be just as good as the first one. Then, when I did see it in color, I thought 'Well, maybe, why not?"'

Taking joy in living is a woman's best cosmetic.
- Rosalind Russell

Audrey Hepburn's Beauty Tips

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.

Remember, If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

On Beauty and Age
By Anne Lamott

  Anne LamottI was at a wedding Saturday 
  with a lot of women in their
  20s and 30s in sexy dresses,
  their youthful skin aglow.
  And even though I was 20 or
  30 years older, a little worse  
  for wear, a little tired and
  overwhelmed by the loud
  music, I was smiling.
 
  I smiled with a secret Cheshire-cat smile of pleasure and relief in being older-49 and change, which even I would have to admit is no longer extremely late youth. But I would not give you back a year of life lived.
 
Age has given me what I was looking for my entire life - it gave me me. It provided the time and experience and failures and triumphs and friends who helped me step into the shape that had been waiting for me all my life. I fit into me now-mostly. I have an organic life finally, not the one people imagined for me or tried to get me to have or the life someone else might celebrate as a successful one - I have the life I dreamed of. I have become the woman I hardly dared imagine I could be. There are parts I don't love-until a few years ago, I had no idea that you could get cellulite on your stomach - but I not only get along with me most of the time now, I am militantly and maternally on my own side.
 
Left to my own devices, would I trade this for firm thighs, fewer wrinkles, a better memory?
 
On some days. That's why it's such a blessing I'm not left to my own devices. Because the truth is I have amazing friends and a deep faith in God, to whom I can turn. I have a cool kid, a sweet boyfriend, darling pets. I've learned to pay attention to life, and to listen. I'd give up all this for a flatter belly? Are you crazy?
 
I still have terrible moments when I despair about my body. But they are just moments - I used to have years when I believed I would be more beautiful if I jiggled less; if all parts of my body stopped moving when I did. But I believe two things now that I didn't at 30. When we get to heaven, we will discover that the appearance of our butts and skin was 127th on the list of what mattered on this earth. And I know the truth that l am not going to live forever, and this has set me free. Eleven years ago, when my friend Pammy was dying at the age of 37 we went shopping at Macy's. She was in a wheelchair, with a wig and three weeks to live. I tried on a short dress and came out to model it for Pammy. I asked if she thought it made me look big in the thighs, and she said, so kindly, "Annie? You just don't have that kind of time."
 
I live by this story.
 
I am thrilled-thrilled-ish - for every gray hair and achy muscle, because of all the friends who didn't make it, who died too young of AIDS and breast cancer. And much of the stuff I used to worry about has subsided - what other people think of me and of how l am living my life. I give these things the big shrug. Mostly. Or at least, eventually. It's a huge relief.
 
I became more successful in my mid-40s, but this pales compared to the other gifts of this decade - how kind to myself I have become, what a wonderful, tender wife I am to myself, what a loving companion. I get myself tubs of hot salty water at the end of the day in which to soak my tired feet. I run interference for myself when I am working, like the wife of a great artist would: "No, I'm sorry, she can't come. She's working hard these days and needs a lot of downtime." I live by the truth that No is a complete sentence. I rest as a spiritual act.

 
Foot PetalsI have grown up enough to develop radical
acceptance. I insist on the right to swim in warm water at every opportunity, no matter how cold, no matter how young and gorgeous the other people on the beach are. I don't think that if I live to be 80 I'll wish I'd spent more hours in the gym or kept my house a lot cleaner. I think I'm going to wish I had swum more unashamedly, made more mistakes, spaced out more, rested. On the day I die, I want to have had dessert. So this informs how l live now.
 
I have survived so much loss, as all of us have by our 40th - my parents, dear friends, my pets. Rubble is the ground on which our deepest friendships are built. If you haven't already, you will lose someone you can't live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of a beloved person. But this is also the good news. They live forever, in your broken heart that doesn't seal back up. And you come through. It's like having a leg that never heals perfectly - that still hurts when the weather is cold-but you learn to dance with the limp. You dance to the absurdities of life; you dance to the minuet of old friendships.
 
  DancingI danced alone
  for a couple of
  years, and came
  to believe I
  might not ever
  have a
  passionate
  romantic
  relationship -
  might end up
  alone! I'd been so terrified of this my whole life. But I'd rather never be in a couple or never get laid again than to be in a toxic relationship. I spent a few years celibate. It was lovely, and it was sometimes lonely. I had surrendered; I'd run out of bullets. But I learned to be the person I wished I'd meet - at which point I found a kind, artistic, handsome man. We have been together 20 months now, when we get out of bed, we hold our lower backs, like Walter Brennan, and we smile.
 
Younger women worry that their memories will begin to go. And you know what? They will. Menopause has not increased my focus and retention as much as I'd been hoping. But a lot is better off missed. A lot is better not gotten around to.
 
I know many of the women at the wedding fear getting older, and I wish I could gather them together again and give them my word of honor that every one of my friends loves being older, loves being in her 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s. My Aunt Gertrud is 85 and leaves us behind in the dust when we hike. Look, my feet hurt some mornings, and my body is less forgiving when I exercise more than I'm used to. But I love my life more, and me more. I'm so much juicier. And, like that old saying goes, it's not that I think less of myself, but that I think of myself less often. And that feels like heaven to me.

Guatemalan Queen

There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.
- Sophia Loren

Litany of Elegance

Blessed is the woman who affirms herself each day.
Blessed is the woman who believes that beauty comes from within.
Blessed is the woman who challenges media stereotypes of aging.
Blessed is the woman who dares to try something new after fifty.
Blessed is the woman who envisions change as an opportunity.
Blessed is the woman who focuses on the "bigger picture" - not just herself.
Blessed is the woman who grants herself permission to make mistakes.
Blessed is the woman who handles adversity with dignity and grace.
Blessed is the woman who initiates dialogue with her younger counterparts.
Blessed is the woman who joins a group trying to make a difference.
Blessed is the woman who knows the difference between aggression and assertiveness.
Blessed is the woman who learns the difference between sex and love.
Blessed is the woman who manages her money wisely.
Blessed is the woman who nurtures the young with her wisdom and experience.
Blessed is the woman who opens her heart to the less fortunate.
Blessed is the woman who prioritizes her needs with integrity.
Blessed is the woman who questions The Establishment when she sees immorality.
Blessed is the woman who relishes her role as mentor and legacy leader.
Elegant African Woman
Blessed is the woman who speaks with quiet authority.
Blessed is the woman who trusts her instincts on when to act.
Blessed is the woman who understands that aging gracefully is something to be proud of.
Blessed is the woman who values her own worth.
Blessed is the woman who wears her silver hair and wrinkles like a badge of honor.
Blessed is the woman who opts to X out negative thinking.
Blessed is the woman who yearns for that which is substantial and not superficial.
Blessed is the woman who zeroes in on the qualities that will help her become...
A Woman of Elegance
 
- Chloe Jon Paul, MD
From her book, Entering The Age of Elegance

The Queen's Court

moon goddess  The Queen's Court is a 
  gathering of sovereign
  women of a certain
  age - our dear peers - who
  graciously offer information,
  guidance, inspiration and
  encouragement to each
  other.

 
  We Queens know what we
  know. And we know a great
  deal. Our experience has
  made us wise. So, feel free to consult with our cyber council/counsel when you are need of sage advice or wish to explore a particular topic of interest.

 
I have recently received a flurry of letters from women offering definitions and descriptions of Queendom. Here are a few. I hope that they will spark some response from you, the loyal, royal sisterhood who comprise The Queen's Court. Please keep your missives coming.
   
Definitions and Declarations of Queendom:
 
As a little girl I wondered what it would be like to be a Queen, after reading The Queen's Chronicles I have a much deeper and broader understanding of just how good it is to be the Queen. Being a Queen is knowing yourself and loving yourself, so that you can move through your life with confidence and a sense of purpose. Not by any means a perfect state, it requires a willingness to learn, a willingness to dialog and more important to listen, to change when needs be. To value others and their ideas, but to know which ones are true for herself. To carry with you, in your heart, what time has shown and taught you. To love and live tolerance. And to understand that timeworn is not careworn. Being loyal and true to yourself, loving yourself is the root of selflessness, not selfishness.
- Lois, PA
 
Being a Queen is having enough life experience to truly know what I want, coupled with the motivation and ability to make it happen. Valuing myself enough to allow myself to expend time and resources on my own development. Realizing that doing these things will provide a role model for my 17-year old daughter as she enters adulthood.
- Cyndi, TX
 
A Queen is one who has the ability to show no mercy but decides on mercy and giving of blessings even though I have the ability to curse and hold back on those blessings. A Queen must not look at things from only one point of view. She must be able to make judgment calls without malice. She must not think she is the most important. As a Queen I realize that those who look up to me are far more important than they think they are.
- Karen, IN
 
A Queen rules her court with love, never fear.
- Anne Marie, NM
 
A Queen believes in what she is doing without any doubt or fear.
- Sanaz, Malaysia
 
I will be 47 this year. I have considered myself a Queen for many years. Queens know themselves completely, even the bad stuff. Queens are fully confident in their powers, boundaries, intuition, strengths, talents and feelings. However, I am also a mother to my six-year old daughter so I feel very much like a mother. So, I consider myself a Queen Mother, actually. I once read about a Polynesian culture whose ruler was a Queen Mother Who Sits on Her Golden Throne. That's me! Yeah!
- Sheryll, CA
 
I sent this letter out to my friends on February 16:
In connection with being asked by my friend Beth, who is approaching her fiftieth birthday, to help her do a ceremony, I discovered all over again the wonderful book, The Queen of My Self, by Donna Henes, the Urban Shaman. Among other ingredients, it has one of my poems, "Penelope" in it. If you don't like to think of yourself as a crone, this is IT - think of yourself as a Queen, and here is how to do it. I can't recommend it strongly enough! You'll want a copy, and I'm not letting my copy out of my sight again.
- Karen, NJ
  
I would love to further this discussion. Do send in your definitions, descriptions and declarations of Queendom.

Please send your questions or responses to thequeenofmyself@aol.com. Your letters will be printed in the next Queen's Chronicles.

The Queen's Correspondence

 moon goddess
  Thanks so much for taking
  the time to respond to
  The Queen's Chronicles
.
  Please keep your 
  comments coming. And
  do feel free to make
  suggestions about  
  content you would like to
  see. Or anything else, for that matter. It is a joy to connect with you.

Letters In Response To
The January 2010 Issue:

Oh Donna, what a wonderful and regal resource you are. Sometimes I want to call you Saint Donna. Thank you for the great service you provide. I've sent this on to a friend who just flew to Canada for Myriam Merlet's memorial (one of the Haitian sheroes you highlighted). She had many blood sisters.
- Susan, NY
 
Thank you for recognizing the women of Haiti who are not always remembered, especially now when the country needs to honor its proudest achievements as a source of hope. Blessings and love,
- Linda, SC
 
Thank you for this incredible newsletter and for highlighting the achievements of the Haitian women. I am proud to know you. Thank you, again. Warmly,
- Alicia, NY
 
THANK YOU for this beautiful and inspiring newsletter. I especially appreciated hearing about the Queens of Haiti. Thanks for your words and work in the world!
- Mary, WA
 
Thank you for the tribute to Haitian women activists.
- Patricia, NY
 
Thank you for sending your newsletter (late is always better than never!). It's a joy to read!
- Queen Melissa, OH
 
I always enjoy your Chronicles so much - excellent research, insight and clarity. Blessings,
- Jo, TX
 
As always your scholarship and poetry combine to produce incredible results. Continued Success! Very Best Wishes,
- c., NY
 
 
Ideas and Suggestions from Readers:
 
I love your Queen's Chronicles and wonder whether your missive exists as a web page that I can click on and read more easily. The way this displays is in a rather small email window, it is very difficult to read and I end up missing a great deal of it. Just a thought.
- Shelley, NY 
 
A good thought! Thanks for the idea. I put my cyber Queen on the case and she solved your problem. At the top of The Chronicles there is now a link to view the ezine as a web page. Just click on it!
- QMD
 
I see you're teaching Tarot classes in Exotic Brooklyn, but what about those of us who live in your ex-homeland?  Would you ever consider teaching an online class? Or video taping lessons and selling the DVD?  I'd love to learn more about Tarot, and learning from you would be really nice! Just a thought.
- Melissa, OH
 
Another great thought. You gals sure have me stretching my limits - pushing me ever further into the techno universe! I will pursue this idea, too. But in the meantime, you can take my series of Spirit Support Skills Teleseminars
 
Are you by any chance planning on teaching web courses or offering teleclasses? I would really like to study with you, but I live in Canada. Thanks for your consideration.
- Meg, BC, Canada
 
Your wish is my command! The first teleseminar is on March 3. There will be another Spirit Support Skills topic offered on the first Wednesday of every month. There are already women signed up from across the United States, Canada and Europe. Here is the info:
http://donnahenes.net/pages/teleseminars.shtml


xxQMD

Please send your responses to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.
Your letters will be printed in the next Queen's Chronicles.


Kudos to the Queens!

clapping hands rotated  My mother drew a distinction 
  between achievement and
  success. She said that
  achievement is the knowledge
  that you have studied and
  worked hard and done
  the best that is in you. Success
  is being praised by others. That is nice but not as important or satisfying. Always aim for achievement and forget about success.
- Helen Hayes

Janet Goldner, NY; Annie Lanzilotto, NY; Linda Montano, NY; Lorraine O'Grady, NY; Suzanne Lacy, CA; Susan Plum, Mexico; Carolee Schneeman, NY; Nina Sobell, NY; Deborah Wanner, NY
and Martha Wilson, NY; on the exhibitions of their work.
 
Jo Carson, TX,
Dancing with Gaia (Film); Teri Degler, Canada, The Divine Feminine Fire: Creativity and Your Yearning to Express Your Self (Book); Imogene Drummond, NY, Divine Sparks (Film); Hallie Austen Iglehart, CA, The Heart of the Goddess: Art, Myth and Meditations of the World's Sacred Feminine (Book); Suzann Panek Robins, NJ, Exploring Intimacy: Cultivating Healthy Relationships through Insight and Intuition (Book); on their new publications.
 
Deborah Grenn, CA
, editor of Talking to Goddess (An anthology that includes work by QMD) on receiving the annual Enheduanna Book Award.
 
Nicki Scully, OR
, on the birth of her grandson.
 
Mary Sanger, TX
, on her retirement and Sage and Feral, WI, co-editors of Matrifocus, on their retirement and the closure of their well-regarded ezine.
 
Kay Turner, NY
, on her new home.
 
Call for Submissions:
 
Dear Queens:
I'm editing a new anthology called Tales from the Velvet Chamber.  This will be a collection of stories by writers who subvert and invert "bad girls" from classical myths, fairy-tales and stories from the Bible: Lilith, Eve, Medea, Medusa. A fresh and unexpected take on old archetypes; the whore, the bitch, the crone, the muses, the fates, she-devils, gorgons. The idea: make these powerful women admired, not reviled. A gallery of women who are erotic, transgressive, comic and charming.
Here is a link to the website that explains the project in more detail, plus submission guidelines. Thank you,
- Lillian Slugocki, NY

Send your good news, achievements, accomplishments, successes and celebrations so that our international circle of sovereign sisters can send you blessings and accolades.
 
And we are glad to so. It is a joy and a privilege to share in the fortune of another woman. I recently heard Oprah say the saddest thing ever - "The hardest thing about being successful is having someone to be glad for you."

It takes a centered and confident Queen to break that pattern. There are 60 million thrones out there. One for each of us. There is plenty of purpose, passion and power for us all. May we use it well!

It is important that you recognize your progress and take pride in your accomplishments. Share your achievements with others. Brag a little. The recognition and support of those around you is nurturing.
- Rosemarie Rossetti
 

Circle of Concern

Helping Hands Circle 
  Please Offer Your
  Purest Thoughts,
  Your
Heart-Felt
  Prayers, Your Great 
  Good
Feelings, And
  Your Very Best
  Blessings
For Healing
  and Peace of Mind To:

 

Alice, NY; Amy, NY; Annie, MA; Betty, AL; Carol, NY; Cat, NY; Chrissie, NY; Deirdre, NY; Devidam NY; Edie, PA; Ellen, NY; Erica, England; Gail, OH; Geraldine, ID; Glenys, Australia; Jane, NY; Jeanmarie, HI; Jill, PA; Jo, AZ; Kathy, RI; Kimi, NJ; Letitia, VA; Linda, NY; Lisa, PA; Lucia, TX; Lynne, NY; Marcia, WA; Matild Cathy, NY; Naomi, DC; Pili, NY; Reid, DE; Shari, NY; Shirley, IN; Smriti, CA; Susan, NY; Terry, NY; Wai, NY;
and Yvette, NY who are in the process of healing themselves from illness, accident, injury or surgery.
 
Amy, NY; Daile, NY; Kayla, NY; Lee, NJ; Lois, NY; Meryl, NY, Nancy, NC; and Roslyn, NJ,the caregivers who are in weary need of care themselves.

May Their Spirits Rest in Peace:

Susan Rae Crispin, MT
Faux, TX
H. Rusty Gordon, FL
Gloria Hoerath, KS
Linda Hummer, OR
Helen Keller, TX
Suzanne Lawley, PA
Leslie Rado, WA
Joanne Retke, MI
Martha Rosenfield, NY
Melanie Shouse, MO
Lydia Walz, MI

With Sincere Condolences:


Margo Adler, NY
Lizzie Brown, MA
Frances Crewes, PA
Carol Henning, NY
Hromovy, TX
Marge Ives, MI
Randi Levin, MT
Sue Newton, SC
Davilyn Whims, FL
Paula Zaninovich, OR

   
In your next issue of this marvelous Chronicle, please honor the memory of my aunt, Helen Keller, the last of the Rothaus girls. She was a dear, sweet, caring, very special woman and will be dearly missed. She died on January 28th.
- Saundra, CA
 
My friend, Pili Peralta, is suffering from a nameless condition in which her red blood cells are not replicating and are, instead, destroying one another. She is currently on heavy steroid medication and periodic blood transfusions, but the condition is dire. Five years ago her parents went back to Nicaragua, their country of origin, for their retirement. Friday Pili leaves for three  weeks there, during which she will be saying goodbye. I have asked her permission to encourage your prayers and healing energy, which she said she gratefully accepts. She is a vibrant person who has a son in his late teens who still lives with her, but she says she will be putting her house on the market as soon as she returns because she feels she will need the money. She is not currently able to work. I know I can depend on your help.
- Beverly, NY


Please send your requests for physical and spiritual healing and positive energy so that the powerful women of The Queen's Court might send their prayers and blessings to you in your time of need.

 
Our sense of community and compassionate intelligence must be extended to all life forms, plants, animals, rocks, rivers, and human beings. This is the story of our past and it will be the story of our future.
- Terry Tempest Williams


Where the Queens Are

moon goddess

NORTH CAROLINA



Nancy PocklingtonOur New Bern Queens Group had a luncheon last Friday. We swapped books, shared stories both of hardship and joy about midlife and being Queens and of course we shared food. We seem to be a dedicated core of about eight women. The group is very diverse. We have all denominations of faith and political leanings. It's wonderful to see this integration, acceptance and true camaraderie. It speaks loudly for the possibility of creating harmony among all people. It's interesting to watch the group evolve. Thank you so much for being the catalyst. 
- Nancy, NC

NC QueenNC Queen Group

Please Submit Your Royal Reports

Tell us about your Self and/or your Queen Group: who, what, where, when, why?
What Queenly topics do you explore?
What projects do you engage in?
Describe some golden moments.
Send pictures!  
 


It is my hope that as more and more women rise to reign in the fullest potential of our supremacy, we will harness our purpose, passion, and power and direct it toward creating a more balanced and peaceful world. This is the legacy of Her majesty.
- QMD


Lucretia's Crown

Turn Your
Midlife Crisis
into Your Crowning Achievement!