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Civil discourse is conversation, even disagreement, oiled with respect and deference. Without it, the engine of interaction grinds, frictions...and locks up. Civil discourse is not just about politeness and manners. It is a vital element to problem solving.
Civil discourse doesn't care who's right, it just cares what's right.
Defensiveness, for example, protects a position. Attacking seeks to advance one. Neither pursues an honest solution.
Emotion clouds the mind and warps the vision. Calm has a clear eye.
If one is incessantly talking then he or she isn't learning. A listener gains a greater perspective, and that perspective often uncovers answers.
A blurter pukes discord. A responder dispenses helpful knowledge after hearing the facts, even-and especially-if those facts oppose his or her original position.
You've been watching some of this fall's political campaigns, I suppose. How much civil discourse have you seen and heard? How many collective, balanced and results-driven ideas have you come across?
I see lots of attackers, defenders and emotional blurters...you?
It's not a surprise if you listened to the loudest voices in Washington these past few years. Do you wonder why there is gridlock? If you do wonder...see the above.
I have never suggested a television show to you before, but I have a treat for you. If your schedule allows, do yourself a favor and flip on a show called "Morning Joe" on MSNBC. Some months ago my dad recommended it to me, and now I'm recommending it to you.
It's on from five till eight central time every weekday morning. It's a round table talk/news/political show, but it's very different than any other that I've seen. I can never watch all of it-too busy...but most days, I catch at least a small part of it.
It features Joe Scarborough, a former Republican congressman and a conservative. His co-host is Mika Brzezinski, a former reporter, current author and the daughter of once National Security Advisor Zbigniew Brzezinski...she's a liberal.
Watch them interact. Watch the cavalcade of regulars and guests, newspeople, journalists, celebrities and politicians from both sides of the aisle and every political persuasion. Watch the hard questions asked and strong opinions offered, but watch their demeanors. Watch the respect, the interaction and the refreshing sense of humor.
These people like each other. They're like a bunch of friends sitting around swapping ideas and thoughts. They're, at times, opinionated and passionate to be sure, and they step on each other's lines once in a while, but they are never discourteous, and without the stodginess of PBS. (Look closely at their feet-sometimes the guys aren't wearing socks.)
It's clear that Joe and Mika are friends and they've created a friendly culture. No attacks, no screaming, very little blurting. It's like the calm in this, at times, ridiculous political storm. It's also an opportunity for us to be educated about what's happening without having to sift through the debris of offensive attacks, rudeness and intolerant ideologues.
If you believe in civil discourse, and I do, then "Morning Joe" will show you how it's done.
If you run an organization or any part of one, civil discourse is vital, but only if you're a solution-driven and results-minded leader. (If you're not, then do whatever you want because you'll be out of business soon anyway.)
After all, all you care about is what's right. Right?
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