Military Sexual Trauma is Our Problem

 The Rev. Babs M. Meairs, MDiv, MA, BCC

 The ripple effect of Military Sexual Trauma (MST) is bringing suffering, loss, and multiple kinds of cost to our families and our communities in addition to the terrible consequences to the victims. Issues of abandonment, homelessness, and suicide tear at the fabric of our society with little or no attention and response. The majority (by almost 98%) of the victims of MST are women. Female veterans, age 18 to 34, are three times as likely as their civilian peers to die by suicide, according to a recent report in Psychiatric Services.  
 

In a groundbreaking class-action suit filed earlier this year, seventeen veteran and active-duty service members who were raped, sexually assaulted or harassed while serving their country charged Department of Justice leaders for failing to prevent, investigate and prosecute the crimes. Attorney Susan Burke, who represents the plaintiffs, has said "You shouldn't have to be raped in order to sign up and serve your country." As the number of reported assaults rises, it becomes increasingly obvious that sexual assaults of women personnel "injure the victims, their families, the military and all of us," noted Eleanor Smeal, president of the Feminist Majority Foundation.

  Victim advocates and military health care leaders say that sexual assault remains a pervasive problem for women serving in all branches of the military. Common estimates suggest one quarter of women in the military have been assaulted during their careers; as much as 29 percent of the 67,000 women veterans served at VA clinics in recent years say they experienced sexual assault. And this is understood to be a small number of those overall, as reporting is problematic for those still on active duty and scary for those who have gotten out.

 Women now serve in almost all areas of the military, with the exception of units likely to engage in ground combat, according to a Department of Defense policy. However, women are assigned to support roles and special teams that may place them in direct contact with the enemy. Our women are bravely bringing compassion and professionalism to dangerous and sometimes deadly encounters, yet, as one female Marine stated recently in a television interview, she had more to fear back on base in the United States.

The increasing numbers of women, including those with children, entering the ranks of the homeless has contributed to community concern for addressing veterans' issues. Veterans Affairs chaplains and mental health providers have been collaborating with local churches in faith-based initiatives to address the healing needed by veterans and their families. A first of its kind conference will be held March 18-19, 2011, at the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley, California, called The Soul Repair Project, dedicated to Healing and Preventing Moral Injury in Veterans of War.

 Women have been hesitant to seek the healthcare they deserve due to the complications of coping with the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual effects of their military experiences. Showing up at an institution historically and still serving a male majority triggers problematic memories. Showing up at church should bring support and opportunities for healing. The following websites offer help in addressing the issues of our veterans, and particularly of our women who have served, often at unjustifiable cost:

 Although many of the problems of postwar adjustment are similar for both men and women, many of the women calling suicide hotlines are also struggling to deal with the military rapes they experienced during their deployments. In particular, they are mothers worrying about dealing appropriately with their kids, according to Dr. Jan Kemp, who runs the Department of Veterans Affairs' National Suicide Prevention Hotline.

  www.vetwow.com 

The Very Rev. Marilyn Engstrom, Dean, St. Matthew's Cathedral

In February I was privileged to speak at the 7th annual Believe in a Miracle, a women's conference in the Diocese of Southwest Florida.  It is a wonderful day of fellowship, music, (this year a repeat performance of Elizabeth Von Trapp) workshops.  Through the brief history of the conference the women have used various formats, trying to alternate where the event would be held so that no one felt they had to travel too far.

More than a couple of hours of driving were considered too far.  I'll have to admit I wasn't too sympathetic and got a few more "Really?"  Comments when I explained that the diocese where I serve is more than 98,000 square miles.  Wyoming is not the largest diocese, nor the most wide spread, but long distances between places is what I have always known as a Wyoming native whose ordained ministry has always been in this wide open space of plains, mountains, deserts and valleys. The longest distance between congregations is about an 8 hour drive in optimum conditions. (Yes, it is not unusual to have major highways closed for blizzards anytime from September through May; and it is well known that during the summer months, there are always delays for road repairs)

The question arose about how the clergy and especially the women clergy stay connected in such a place.  The simple answer is, "We work at it."  Back before the internet, it was not unusual for the clergy of the six regions to meet for lunch, study and fellowship every month or so.  Considering that most of drove 2 hours one way for a 2-3 hour meeting, then back 2 hours, clergy fellowship was a day long commitment.  As more of became computer and conference call savvy and as we had an great increase of locally ordained clergy, many of whom had regular day jobs as teachers, engineers, ranchers, government and construction workers, using technology to stay connected eliminated some of the windshield time.  For as long as I can remember the women clergy have generally had a time women's only social hour at our annual convention which was a primary way to meet the new clergy and maintain relationships with the others.  Phone calls and emails are a primary means of support, encouragement and advice.

When our new bishop, John Smylie, was consecrated in July, 2010, it was clear from the beginning that a hallmark of his episcopate would be to develop a more cohesive clergy team in the Diocese.  He has reinstituted the "Clergy Spouse Partner Conference" and is planning events to bring us together for activities other than the business of the diocese.  With a grant from the Episcopal Foundation of Wyoming covering the biggest part of expenses, Bishop Smylie led a pilgrimage to Israel for the clergy of the Diocese.  There were 26 priests, 6 deacons, the bishop and the Canon to the Ordinary (the retired bishop of Western Kansas) on pilgrimage. From the get-go, it was clear that this would be a time of spiritual growth and team building.

At one of the holy places near the Sea of Galilee we were preparing an outdoor chapel for the Holy Eucharist.  Just as we began a troop of workers with leaf blowers fired up their machines.  Our combined voices pushed back at the intrusion and became stronger.  Later that evening as someone reflected about the strength of our voices, the Bishop said this hope that this experience together would empower the clergy of the Diocese to speak with a stronger voice.  I believe we will be stronger preachers, more confident teachers and will know that a whole of our fellowship know us, understand us and support us in our different environments with different challenges we face.

I've been the Dean at St. Matthew's Cathedral for nearly 9 years.  It is a very small cathedral compared to those in urban settings.  We would like to think of ourselves as a program-sized place, but in truth, we operate more like a pastoral-sized parish.  St. Matthew's was the congregation that sponsored me for ordination, so my tenure has brought some unique challenges.  I know a whole lot of history, where the skeletons are hidden and have known, loved and been taught by some of the oldest parishioners.  

I am the first woman dean at this cathedral, but there are a number of other women deans around the church who have set the bar high.  As I have met them I have been encouraged by their examples of faithfulness, creativity, administration and strength.  I don't know that the challenges of being a dean of cathedral are much different for women or men-at a cathedral, at a large congregation or a small rural mission.  We are all called to be faithful to our call as preachers and teachers, to equip others for the ministries to which they are called, to represent Christ and to help others to represent Christ in the places where they live and work.  It can be hard work.  Sometimes it is greatly fulfilling; sometimes it is frustrating and aggravating.

Growing up in Wyoming I have been surrounded by strong, capable women who were easily accepted by men.  The criteria for acceptance were the ability to get the job done and to not expect extra praise just because you did what was expected.  At a cattle branding it was just as likely to see women as men roping calves as it was to see both sexes wrestling them to the ground.  If you can do the job, then what is stopping your from getting there and doing it?   I hadn't been ordained as a priest very long when I was asked to preside at services at a church about 60 miles away from my assigned congregation.   I will always and fondly recall the little gray-haired lady who sat down beside me at the coffee hour.  She said in a twangy voice right off the prairie, "Honey, if I hada known you was gonna be the preacher today, I sure as hell woulda stayed home.  Don't believe that women folk are supposed to be a preachin'.  But now that I have seen one in action, I just am bewildered as all git out.  You did it all just fine and I can't understand what I was a thinking before."

In Wyoming laywomen support each other through relationships established through many shared experiences.  The annual ECW conference gathers women for a weekend of great speakers, workshops, worship and fellowship. We renew ties at the Diocesan Convention; we serve together on Camp staff; we see one other at committee meetings.  Many women have had taken leadership roles in the diocese for years on the Standing Committee, Commission on Ministry, Diocesan Council. Our women were among the first women seated at General Convention and we would have to go back a long time to find when women were not equally represented in both the clergy and lay orders as deputies to General Convention. 

I was asked about my vision for the future in several different venues. I truly believe that the Episcopal Church has so much to offer the community and the world.  In my particular corner of the vineyard at St. Matthew's, we are challenged to find ways of offering activities and programs to support youth, young adults and families with children.  I have wondered about putting fertility drugs in the coffee as a primary means of increasing the size of our families to increase numbers to a critical mass. (Just a joke)  I do see a growing interest among young adults who want a place where authentic, real relationships are encouraged, where there is mystery in the sacraments, where all the answers are not black and white.  We will likely grow in slow steady ways.

Women in ministry, both lay and ordained, will continue to be a primary moving force in the church.  I see increasing numbers of women who bring vast skills and abilities to the table, particularly non-traditional areas such administration, engineering, advanced health sciences.  They are looking for avenues to offer their gifts which will have an impact beyond their homes or professional positions.  I think there is a greater acceptance of women and their gifts on every level.  In some ways I think our greater challenge will be to encourage men to stay involved and participate fully when women are capably moving forward to establish God's reign in amazing, wonderful and innovative ways.

Every Wednesday night, I sit at my computer, surrounded by music books and suggest songs that others might like to choose for their congregation to sing in a few weeks' time. I am completely biased in choosing songs that I like, that speak of my faith and that are as diverse and inclusive as possible. It started as a favour to my own minister and a couple of non-musical newly-Reverended friends, who struggled with choosing hymns each week. One of their particular difficulties was finding songs that were easy, inclusive and in resources that were easily accessible. One of my joys is being able to spend one evening a week looking through hymnbooks and making people aware of how much good music is out there. This article is about why I love to do this.

Congregational song is the participatory, unifying worship

When we gather to worship, we normally sit still and listen. Sometimes we light candles, share a sign of peace, move forward to receive eucharist, but the thing that we all do together to take part in the liturgy is to sing. Old people, young people, children. Singers whose voices soar, singers who croak away on the same tone, children who can't read and just make up syllables, people who don't like to sing who just listen. We have one in our congregation who cannot sing, but hits a wooden block in time with the music. The music fills the church. The music vibrates in our bodies. We are all part of the song. If you stop worrying about getting all the words right and just listen, it's as if the song has made us into one instrument, singing to God and each other; a musical prayer.

Even though the sermon may be well thought out and challenging, it's often true that what we remember from a worship service are the songs. Snippets, phrases, verses, return to us during the week as we go about our daily work. This seems to be especially true of Psalm responses and Taize chants, but that's not always the case. How wonderful to hear a child singing "Faith Hope and Love, this is what we long for" while wandering about the house. How calming for me to have "Like a child rests in its mother's arms, so will I rest in you" in my head as I fall asleep. What a privilege to provide our congregations with these moments of beauty and reflection by choosing nurturing music that we sing together. I understand that one of the ideas of songs from Taize is that after the singing has stopped, the song continues to pray through daily life, even if you are unaware of its humming.

So, our songs are prayer and sustenance. They can also challenge us with new ideas. There are many new hymns and songs that challenge first world Christians with new images of God; or that give us hope in our struggles to believe. For example, a verse from Australian hymn-writer Elizabeth Smith includes "Our faith must feel its way about and deal with question marks and doubt". Just as the words of a sermon wake us up, if we pay attention, hymn words can challenge us too. I am not a musicologist or a psychologist, but I firmly believe that the songs we sing make us who we are, and this is

Whose songs are we singing?

In my tradition, the Uniting Church in Australia, a union of Methodism, Congregationalism and Presbyterianism, we sing a lot of Charles Wesley and Isaac Watts. These guys are great, and I sing them heartily. It's important to sing songs from the roots of our faith, and I mean we should go right back to the very oldest of Christian and Jewish hymnody. Let's also reach forward. If we sing only the songs of old, it's harder to think of and talk about our faith in our own, modern words and modern musical language. In our congregation, we are blessed with some songwriters, so we sing our own songs, and these are deeply loved because they speak from within our own community. Our young people need songs in their music language too.

We also need songs of the Global church, lest we think that Christianity is just something for the first world. We have much to learn from the vibrancy of African song, the gentleness of Asian song, the powerful disarming honesty of lyrics from Central and South America. I sometimes imagine this may be easier in the USA where you have significant African-American and Hispanic populations, but I also remember that congregations are still fairly monocultural. Perhaps this makes it even more important that we bridge this divide by learning each other's songs.

We welcome others with our song

The other divide that I think can be bridged by careful song choices is the bridge between the churched and the unchurched. People outside the church aren't much used to singing together. They aren't used to old words. They aren't used to ignoring non-inclusive church language. They think that we believe what we sing.

For me this is one of the most important reasons to make sure that our songs reflect our faith in all of its glory and difficulty. Let's sing what we believe.

 HOLY WOMEN, HOLY MEN: MARCH CELEBRATIONS

March 7: Perpetua and Her Companions