It has been written that I said 'my soul does proclaim the greatness of the Lord and generations will call me fortunate'. And I did say those things. I really did. But the words didn't come easy. I was chosen you know, chosen by God to bear and raise God's son. People said, "Mary, you are blessed above all women, isn't is wonderful?" And it was wonderful, but it was also terrible.

To be chosen by God means that you struggle within yourself and sometimes there's a price to pay. I was very young back then and I was betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph. The marriage had been arranged by my parents. Did I love him? How could I ? I hardly even knew him.

And one day, I have never been sure whether or not I was asleep or daydreaming, I found someone in the room with me. That person said, "Mary, don't be afraid because I bring you a message from God." A message from God...what had I done? The person continued, "Mary, you are going to have a child." I said, "A child? I have not lain with Joseph, I have not even been alone with him. " And the angel said to me, "Mary, this will be God's child." And before I could say another word, I found I was alone again.

Several weeks later, it became apparent to me that I was going to have a baby. I didn't tell Joseph, I didn't tell my parents, I was terrified. What would they think?

But after a while it became obvious to everyone. Joseph, as you may imagine, wanted to quietly call off our marriage. He found my story a little hard to believe. Maybe he thought I was trying to make a fool out him. Maybe he was afraid of what people might say about him... about me.

Now you need to know that in my time if a woman was accused of adultery, she could be stoned to death. So, even if Joseph quietly called off the marriage, there was still a chance I could be killed...or that my child would be shut out of the community...an outcast.

As it was, I had to go down to the temple and take a water-test for adultery. The priest took a bowl of holy water and scooped up temple dust and put it in the bowl and invoked a curse upon. I had to drink that water. The thought being that if I had indeed committed this sin, my body would be wracked with pain and I would be swollen. You can imagine how nervous I was -- my hands were sweaty, my stomach was in a knot and I was so humiliated.

If God wanted me to do this thing, why was it so diffficult? Why couldn't it be easy?

Thankfully, God also sent a messenger to Joseph. The messenger told Joseph not to be afraid to marry me. So Joseph stood by me. At least for appearances sake. Emotionally he seemed pretty distance. But I guess I couldn't blame him. It was all pretty confusing. And not a great way to begin a marriage.

And the baby, I didn't know if I wanted this baby. I hadn't planned on having a baby at this time. Why, I hadn't even had a chance to be a wife yet. But when I felt the movement within me, I couldn't help but grow to love this child. God's child? This was my child. It would look like me. Be raised by me.

Then it came to pass that Joseph and I had to go to Bethlehem to be counted in the census. It was a horrible journey. It was long and I was afraid I would have the child on the way there. And, as it was, when we go to Bethlehem, there were no lodgings, no place for us to stay. Finally, late at night, we found a stable and my child, my first-born child was born in a stable with only Joseph as a mid-wife. I picked my baby up and I looked at him...his beautiful face, his fingers curled around mine, and I said, "Jesus, your mother loves you very much." And I fell back against the hay, exhausted, and I slept.

Later on I was awakened by the sound of voices and there were shepherds there in the stable with us. Angels had told them to come because the son of God was here. And, get this, they were kneeling in front of my child. And then the enormity of it hit me. This was indeed the child of God, the Savior of the world. Then the pain that every mother feels when she knows her child is hers but for a short period time, ran right through me.

Jesus, the chosen one, the son of God. What will your struggle be? What price will you pay?  And I pondered all these things in my heart.