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~ Robert Orben ~ |
"Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected."
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~ Resurrect Romance Week ~ |
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Let's face it, guys, when we're wrong it usually costs an arm and a leg to get us out of hot water. Why do you think the jewelry store was invented? But August 8th thru the 14th is National Resurrect Romance Week & August 25th is Kiss and Make Up Day, so here's a few low-budget ideas to rekindle that flame.
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Humor is an important part of any relationship. Learn to laugh at yourself.
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Women simply can't resist men who write poetry. Not one of those 'roses are red' poems but something that gets you in touch with your "inner feelings". Now, most of you guys are totally incapable of expressing your true emotions but the 2% of you who are willing to emote will reap lots of benefits for, like, six months.
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Tell her she's your soul mate.
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Check the TV Guide. Find a conflict between football (a sucky game you don't want to watch anyway, like Oral Roberts vs Idaho State) & a chick flick. Wait until you've started watching the game. Your lines are: "Honey, come here! It's our favorite movie!" & "It's only a football game." Then cuddle up on the couch and watch Sleepless In Seattle with your significant other for the 16th time. Saturday afternoon chick flicks are brutal, but worth almost as many points as a poem.
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Make a reservation at a quaint bed and breakfast, one that smells like the potpourri at a Cracker Barrel, has a Jacuzzi, romance novels in the bookcase and cable TV (to catch Sleepless In Seattle on HBO for the 17th time). Then, while she's there, you and your buds can slip off to Vegas.
Trust me,
Jim
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~ Tour de France & World Cup Recaps ~ |
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As you may know, the two biggest international sporting events were wrapped up last month.
The World Cup was marred by controversy. The games themselves featured lots of flopping on the pitch and hardly any goals at all. I'm not sure who won; this reporter had to mute the TV because of those annoying horns and fell asleep on the couch before halftime of the final match.
The Tour de France was marred by controversy. The race itself went on day after day after day, featuring lots of riders flopping on the road and some talk about a yellow jersey. Apparently bicyclists have no fashion sense. I'm not sure who won; this reporter lost interest sometime early in Stage 2.
The World Series and the Super Bowl pale in comparison. |
