 October's Tool Card: Letting Go
"Letting go" goes hand-in-hand with "empowering", which Jane and co-author Lynn Lott define as "turning control over to children as soon as possible so they have power over their own lives." From the card: "It means allowing your child to learn responsibility and to feel capable". This job of letting go requires us to use some tools we already know:
1. Take time for training and then step back. Say the job is your 3rd-grader making his own lunch. Show him where the sandwich-makings, fruit, and snacks are, and how to pack the lunch bag so the sandwich doesn't get squished. Use the med school formula: have the learner watch one, do one, teach one (like his younger sib, for instance!) 2. Have faith in your child to learn from his or her mistakes. You see your child putting the sandwich on the bottom and the apple on top. Restrain yourself--the sandwich will be squished but she can still eat it. And maybe she won't pack lunch that way next time. Or maybe she didn't mind a squished sandwich. In which case you just have to shake your head, and 3. Get a life so your identity doesn't depend on managing your child's life. It's all about Letting Go ; -) |
