 Certification Workshop: Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way Are you excited and passionate about Positive Discipline? Have you ever thought about facilitating parent workshops? If so, you'll be interested to know the 2-day certification workshop is being offered next month in San Jose. Go here for more information. |
Mistaken Goals: Breaking the Code 
Part Four, Assumed Inadequacy
If you are left feeling hopeless or helpless by your child's behavior, the mistaken goal may be Assumed Inadequacy. The belief behind the behavior is: "I can't belong because I'm not perfect; I'll convince others not to expect anything of me. It's no use trying because I won't do it right" This mistaken goal is particularly difficult for adults because it invites us to feel inadequate ourselves; we are often inclined to "give up" on the child because of the lack of response and improvement. And giving up is exactly what we must not do.
Consulting the Mistaken Goal Chart, we find these suggestions:
- stop all criticism
- encourage any positive attempt
- focus on assets
- set up opportunities for success
- teach skills/show how, but
- don't give up
Remember, this child has lost faith in himself and truly believes he is incapable. His behavior is not a bid for your attention. Patience and showing your faith in him and his abilities are what's needed here. Hang in there, and take care of yourself, too.
Click here for more suggestions for Assumed Inadequacy.
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