Routines 
In Positive Discipline A-Z, Jane Nelsen compares routines to the guardrails on curvy mountain roads. Guardrails give us a sense of security and safety, which is just what routines do for children. From a child's earliest moments, routines serve to help build trust, which is a key factor in healthy brain development. For the infant, it's "I'm wet, I cry, someone comes to change me". This is the routine the baby comes to rely on, that tells her the world is a safe place and her needs will be met. And routines for the older child function in much the same way. "These are the things we do, this is what I can count on. The world is a safe place and I can relax because I know what comes next. . ." This is not to say that spontaneity should be banished. In fact, most families who have routines find they have more time for spontaneity and creativity.
Routines help prevent chaos, and are often the key to better, more positive interactions with your kids. Think of your "problem" times--waking up, getting ready to leave the house, homework, bedtime. . . all these situations are ideal for building routines (and more harmony in your home). As your children grow older, the best routines are ones they help establish. Being involved in decisions that affect their lives assures their buy-in, and provides children a sense of capability and accomplishment.
Ben has had the same school-day routine since Kindergarten (and this year he started 5th grade). We review it at the start of the year, but it still seems to suit his needs. There are only 4 steps to it, and if I think he might be "off-task", I can simply ask, "Where are you on your chart?". This is usually enough to get him on track, and it sure is nice not to be nagging him! Oh, that's another huge benefit of routines--they become the boss. It's "the routine chart says. . .", not "I told you. . .". Remember "ask, don't tell"? Always a good policy!
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Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way
 Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way (developed by Lynn
Lott and Jane Nelsen) provides a step-by-step approach to starting and
leading experientially based parenting groups. By completing this fabulous 2-day (plus 1.5 hours) workshop September 30, October 1& 2, you will be
certified to teach others about Positive Discipline. For more information, click here. |
