How do you wish to be remembered?

Unfortunately in our field, we see a lot of good people leave this planet before I feel personally they should. I know it's not my decision - I am just stating my opinion.

Some get an advanced warning and have a chance to prepare for the closing chapter of their life. Others are not so fortunate. The few I was acquainted with who knew made the decision to enjoy the time they had left with family and friends, doing the things they like to do or always wished they had done. Several didn't tell anyone including their spouse their time was nearly finished, until days before the final. It's like they knew. One person I had the privilege to talk to told me she did not want the constant reminder and especially not the pity.

The questions I usually ask are how do you want to be remembered and what would you do differently. The answers used to surprise me - I found regardless of race or gender, they have stayed pretty similar.

Things they would do differently:
1. Listen more - share more.
2. Spend more time with family and friends - not so much time "me doing my thing"
3. Not necessarily save more money (usually men saying this) but make better choices where spent and how saved.
4. Be more patient.
5. One man said practice the 10 Commandments daily - when they are followed, you don't have to apologize near as much.
6. Make sure the ones I love know it and the ones who have disappointed me know I forgive them.
7. One couple who came in  - he was diagnosed with terminal cancer - said his parents had gone through the Great Depression - as a result he had a pretty good cash reserve. If he had it to do over again, he would still save about 3/4 of what he had, but spend the rest doing things with his wife. Now he couldn't. His health wouldn't allow him to do it.

How they want to be remembered:
1. Fondly
2. Every time one of the kids does something I taught them, I have succeeded.
3. As a nice caring person.
4. While it may seem selfish, I want to be remembered as wishing I was still here - at least they won't be glad I'm gone.
5. One particular dad said when I'm gone, they want something - they'll miss me - they will have to earn it themselves. I will have been successful, I taught them to work.

The purpose of this article is this. We are all - daily - hourly - building our legacy. Our daily contacts. I am from a small town - if you were rude, short, or mean with someone that morning, by night fall everyone in town knew it. Therefore you thought about your actions more than you would if you were from a bigger town. I think in life you have to have some personal accountability. Wrong attitudes or actions should not be okay just because you got away with it. It's still wrong. I choose to try to leave a better legacy - not one where I got away with a lot of bad stuff.

Besides, the little ones are watching parents, grandparents, neighbors, etc. and learning through adults which actions are  really okay. Don't leave them with the "wrong" legacy!