Influences Effecting Feelings Of Love
By John Gray
If you're asking yourself, "Am I really in love? What is this I'm feeling?" then it just may be time for some detective work.
A 2004 brain chemistry study revealed that certain parts of our brains light up with extra blood flow when we're romantically in love. Barring the severity of a brain scan, there are a number of places you can shine your detective's light that can reveal the answer to your questions about whether you really are in love. Engage your powers of observation, look more deeply at your relationship, and observe what's really going on underneath, around, and behind your words and actions.
Factors To Know That Can Fool, Confuse, and Muddy the Mental Waters
* Antidepressants: Through scientific research, we have learned that antidepressants raise the levels of serotonin (the feel-good brain chemical) and, at the same time, dull the emotions by suppressing dopamine (the energy and motivation chemical). Because of these studies, it's now believed that antidepressants not only diminish the sex drive, but they may also interfere with our capacity to feel love.
* Trust: How absolutely do you trust your partner? Love and trust go hand in hand and both take time to grow. Without trust it is almost impossible to open your heart completely to another.
* Intimacy and Vulnerability: When couples rush into emotional or sexual intimacy before love and trust have had a chance to develop, there is no solid foundation in place to safeguard the couple from the doubts and fears that surface with vulnerability. Ask yourself if your confusion is coming from being intimate and exposing aspects of yourself too soon.
* Negative Emotions From Your Past: Fears about the future and feelings of anger, sadness, or regret may have nothing to do with your partner. They may have more to do with your unhealed pain from the past, what we refer to as 90/10 issues.
* Not Understanding and Appreciating Gender Differences: The key to falling in love and staying in love is to recognize and embrace our differences. Many times all that is needed is to learn how your partner communicates differently. Understanding the conflicting ways that men and women deal with stress can also dramatically alter your attitude. And an appreciation of how you and your partner's primary needs, different as they are, complement each other can help bring back that loving feeling.