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Tuesday Tip: Commenting on a Piece of Writing
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(Summarized from Writing Without Teachers, by Peter Elbow, Oxford Univ. Pr., 1973.)
Rather than telling a writer how you would have written the paper or how the paper ought to be changed, it tends to be more instructive to simply give back to the writer the understanding you gained (or failed to gain) and feelings that you have experienced by reading the writing. Elbow recommends four methods of feedback: pointing, summarizing, telling, and showing.
Pointing
Simply point out the words or passages that seem powerful to you, or clear, or in some other way good. Also point out passages that seem particularly unclear, or unconvincing, or in some other way not up to par.
Summarizing
Here are some ways to comment by summarizing:
a. Briefly sum up the main points of the writing as you understand them.
b. Summarize the writing in one sentence.
c. Choose one word from the writing that seems to best summarize it.
d. Summarize the writing with one word that is not in the writing.
Telling
Tell the writer what happened to you as you read the writing. For example, "As I began to read, I felt that this piece was taking a strong stance against genetic engineering. But when I read the paragraph about the newest techniques for genetic manipulation, it seemed that the essay was now advocating genetic engineering. Then at the top of page two I realized that this piece was not taking sides at all but was simply trying to objectively report the facts of the matter."
Showing
Many times when reading a passage you will have subtle, underground, almost unconscious reactions that are very difficult to put into direct speech. Sometimes these can be usefully hinted at by using metaphor. Here are some ideas:
a. Talk about the writing in terms of voices: whispering, shouting, pontificating, reporting, etc.
b. Talk about the writing in terms of weather: rainy, drizzly, sunny, overcast, stormy, calm, etc.
c. Talk about the writing in terms of clothes, terrain, color, shape, animals, vegetables, musical instruments, parts of a body, a lump of clay, etc.
Example of showing: In the end I got the sense that the paper was raging like a drill instructor, saying, "Did I ask for your opinion? No. Now, get to it!"
Elbow's book is a classic in the field of teaching composition and offers many excellent practical suggestions and exercises. His brilliant appendix essay, "The Doubting Game and the Believing Game - an Analysis of the Intellectual Enterprise" is worth the price of the book.
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Sincerely, 
Kevin D. Dohmen, M.Ed. Learning Consultant21 West Caton Avenue Alexandria, VA 22301-1519 --- 703.683.9617 kevindohmen@verizon.netwww.kevindohmen.netthe art of learning for the information age
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