The room is completely silent. Everyone is in awe and my heart is pounding. I feel we have been brought before the throne of God and I can see him. There is a sweet aroma in the room, the sweet presence of the Love of God. Everyone is just taking it in, this place of being just before Him.
I want to witness what my eyes have seen these past days. My heart is shaking and full of what I see God doing among these young people here. Everywhere I go there are always two or three sitting together deep in conversation talking about our lives, our history, about God, our relationships with our mothers and fathers. We talk about hearts of stone, bitterness and forgiveness. We talk about Anti-Semitism and victimhood as nations and share it with the other nations. Suddenly, a window is opened up and for the first time we hear or see the other. The Polish, the Israeli, the German and even the one Dutch boy. Never before have we really seen the other or allowed it. Hearts are being opened up and turned towards God and towards the other, not only the nations, but our hearts are turned back to our fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters and friends.
There is constant music in the house somewhere someone is playing guitar or the piano and its dim sounds are humming through the sealing and the closed doors.
I look outside the window and see two guys deep in conversation as they counsel and pray for each other. In the corner of our meeting room are the two polish girls deep in conversation with two Israelis. I carefully come closer and hear them talking about Poland and the polish history, I hear them talk about guild and repentance, I hear them talking about forgiveness, the amazing gift of redemption through the Messiah's atoning sacrifice. I see them seeking Gods heart for their nation and how they long for a new relationship with the Jewish people through forgiveness. My heart is moved. God has been ever so present with this group as I haven't felt him in a long time. And with that a cry of my heart has been answered that I wanted to see Him work and experience Yeshua in a new way. Leaving the room I pass the walls that are full of posters and pictures of each ones family history that we have been sharing with each other. The next room is no different, it is full of posters of the work of the past days. God has taken us far already. And in the middle of it - is HE. Always there. Always loving. Always present. His love is what binds this group together from the first moment on. Its an atmosphere of wholeness, warmth and love.
There is talk about the Lords suffering and his pleading with the Father to forgive because they don't know what they are doing. It's the hardest topic of them all...yes, forgiving is good. But it ends at Auschwitz...God is so hard to grasp. What does it mean - where sin is great, his grace is even greater?
We are reading about Abraham and Izchak and sacrifices, Jacob and the angel and our struggles in life and with God, we are reading about Jacob meeting Esau. These stories are challenging us to the core, but teach us so much. The times of sharing and discussing seem to never end.
My head was spinning the first days because of the intensity of what is going on. I think for the first time yesterday for dinner the group was silent for 5 minutes. There is such richness and a deep hunger in the group for meeting and hearing the other and seeking God. It blesses me and I am humbled before the Lord to be part of this.
My head was spinning last night from all the dancing. Thank God for down times of hiking through nature or learning to dance the "Friesenrock" - a fun Germans style of standard dancing. The whole room was spinning and it brought some rest to their busy minds.
But we still have a huge mountain to conquer. Auschwitz. Tomorrow we are leaving and tonight we will come together to start facing this evil with more purpose and look it together in the eye. I see the fear in their eyes. What will be? Will my heart be strong enough? Can we love each other through this?
I know. I know by His grace we can and we will. We will be more than conquerors. His love has overcome death. His love will be the leader not we. He has been there. He has been through it a million times. I still pray that the hearts will be covered with his peace and love. That he will hold the pain of those who lost so much family in those camps. That they will search for Him and find Him. That they will find our hands to hold and cry together in that place.
This morning we read in Jeremiah 29:11-14 - and I would like to close my thoughts with this:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."
Amen |
