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Greetings!
Couples seem to benefit most from Four Windows. The Quick Link this week (on the left) takes you to West Valley Magazine's issue for February 2011. Go there and turn to page 18 where journalist Patricia Krogh delivers a four-page spread explaining the Four Windows program and then introduces you to four dynamic couples who have enhanced their relationships through Color knowledge.
If you are curious about compatibility, all personality types are potentially compatible - especially with hard daily work. However, here are the best odds, based on the work of numerous experts on personality types. ETs (Blues and Greens) enjoy each other's company, and so do Earthlings (Oranges and Golds). Also, couples who share at least one same Color among their respective two most preferred Colors - they too have good chances for understanding each other and resolving conflicts. Earthlings married to ETs make for interesting couples, as long as they don't get too annoyed at each other's way of thinking and speaking, i.e., concrete vs. abstract. Perhaps the toughest challenge may be for couples whose Color spectrum is clearly opposite, e.g., an extraverted Blue-Orange-Green-Gold with an introverted Gold-Green-Orange-Blue.
If the magazine article does not answer all of your questions, take the Four Windows Personality Survey with your spouse: www.JackDermody.com/4wps. Or contact me to join a Couples Workshop. Dermody@cox.net. |
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Orange is the Color of the Week
Want to Fence In Your Orange Loved-One? Forget About It! | |
We are attracted to Oranges for so many reasons. Their freedom-loving nature is infectious and we want to be part of their action. So we run after them, befriend them, and even marry them.
What's not to like? When they like an idea, they act on it - right now. If something looks fun, they grab it and take you with them.
The problem is that life goes on. We are living or working with them. The house is bought. The investments are made. The children are growing. And our Orange person is still a freedom-loving creature, still acting quickly on ideas, and still impetuous. And they do get a little scary now and then -- and might say stuff like let's move somewhere else, spend the investments, take the kids on the road and home-school them. Or the threat might not be to house and home, but there are things going on - like late-night events with friends, unplanned family events, skipped meals, new hobbies, strangers appearing at the front door, and you cannot always guess what else will happen.
Here's a bumper sticker that was written for friends and lovers of Oranges: "If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were." Oranges - at a DNA level - need to feel free, to feel an air of complete personal freedom wherever they go.
But this is hard for non-Oranges who fear the Orange counterpart will be unfaithful, disloyal, or may just plain disappear.
The great irony here is that Oranges will feel the strongest bond when the bond is not a leash. Instead, the "bond" is appreciation for their freedom-loving nature. You can be sure that very few people in their entire lives - including even Mom and Dad - appreciated ("put up with") their freedom-loving nature nearly enough for them. So being understanding might seem like a lot to ask from non-Oranges who live or work with them.
When Oranges do overstep reasonable bounds, the best way to "reel them back in" is not to bitterly scold or blame them for what comes naturally to them. Rather, you will do much better by focusing on the negative impact their behavior might have on a business, on you personally, on the children, on your lifestyle, etc. Don't forget that they do think the world of you. Oranges care about their loved ones, friends, and colleagues as much as anyone, and will naturally make changes to improve the lives of those they care about. But ultimately, behavioral changes need to feel like they are their own idea.
So what about loyalty? Are Oranges less loyal than the other Colors? The truth is that all of us stay with people because we feel an air of freedom, we feel loved, we feel respected. We all may be prone to leave people when those criteria are not met.
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SAMPRAS AND AGASSI on YouTube: One Gold and One Orange | |
Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi are poster boys for their respective Color types: Gold and Orange. Take a look at the two YouTube interviews by clicking on links below.
Gold fellow Sampras is described as not flashy, not flamboyant or controversial, yet well prepared, single-minded, and dedicated. Overall, one might call his personality "boring," as you learn from interviewer Charlie Rose on 60 Minutes.
Orange fellow Agassi, appearing on Dave Letterman's show, is every bit as introverted as Sampras, but his lifestyle contrasts sharply to the other's: flaunting wild hair held on with bobby pins during one of his career peaks and admitting to doing drugs.
There are many other YouTube interviews of these two champions. If you want to appreciate better where Golds and Oranges "come from", enjoy what you learn from just watching.
THE LINKS:
Sampras interview on 60 Minutes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pKKJb6W3W8
Agassi interview on David Letterman: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CB7DoJzZk7E&NR=1&feature=fvwp
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What's YOUR Story? |
You know your Colors, so what info would you love to share about that? Or about your relationships? Submit a story to dermody@cox.net. If we like it, we'll publish it in a future JackDermody.com Newsletter. The next article is this week's story. |
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Maria Flores' Story: My Green Boss Doesn't Give Much Direction |
Before I knew about personality typing, I thought I had the worst boss in the world. He would give an assignment with very little direction on his part. When I'd ask for clarification, he'd bark back with "Figure it out!"
The boss is Green, it turns out. Once I tried to see the world from a Green perspective, things started to make sense. Greens pride themselves in solving problems on their own, and they expect others to do the same - pure and simple.
So then I wondered what Greens do when they need clarification. I soon got the answer when he came to me for just that. Here's how the conversation went.
Boss: I went over your whole report. I've marked phrases and sections where I got a little lost. Just do some edits and send it back.
Me: And if I'm not sure what's missing?
Boss: Email me those portions with your questions and I'll respond.
Like it or not, my boss cares about the use of time. He wants to use it as efficiently as possible. Open-ended, poorly defined tasks are a waste of time. Targeted tasks he's willing to deal with.
His example showed me that he did not want to waste my own time. He proved that he did all the homework he could do and that all he wanted from me was specific, efficient action.
My own Gold-Blue profile craves a combination of step-by-step processes and warm conversational bonding, but it's easier now to cope. I understand that the boss would go crazy with too much processing and conversation on my part. Meanwhile, we get the work done. The friends I have inside and outside of work provide the social network that makes me feel whole.
Submitted by Maria Flores. |
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Once you understand the power of Colors, most of your relationships with others make sense. And you begin to breathe easy.
Sincerely,
Jack Dermody
Jack Dermody
JackDermody dot com |
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