My encouragement: Do the hard work now and you will reap the harvest later. Once, when talking about the difficulties of parenting three small children, someone looked at me and said: "Enjoy it now. Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems."
I get nervous talking about the eventual outcome of our children's lives when we haven't yet launched any of them. But I do believe in the principle - "Do the hard work early - reap the harvest in due time."
Of course, this is a principle, not a natural law or rule. As long as people have free will they can choose, despite effective parenting, to make poor decisions, and, despite poor parenting, to make wise decisions. There are no guarantees. But effective parenting can make some things more likely than not.
So if you are overwhelmed parenting young children, take heart. Do the hard work now and someday you can tell a struggling parent: "Be encouraged. Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big blessings."
By the way, effective parenting is like losing weight - most of us really do understand what's involved. Losing weight typically comes down to better food choices and more activity. Effective parenting typically comes down to:
- Intentional and open communication,
- Discipline that is consistent, fair, and reasonable,
- Never-ending expressions of love - a love that says, "I want what is best for you and I will never quit loving you. Never."
- Consistency between the people you call your children to be and the person you choose to be.
Of course, like losing weight, effective parenting is easier said than done. The hard work is getting up each day recommitted to making the right choices, learning from our mistakes, and continuing to move forward together - as a family.
And for those who may have neglected the hard work early on, get started today. Just because you ate too many Twinkies for the past 20 years, doesn't mean you have to eat one today. But know that you cannot rush the harvest - it takes discipline and time.
Do the work, in due season it will come.
