Greetings!
There are three reasons college is a stressful topic for parents:
- It will impact the rest of your child's life - intellectual, social, and spiritual development, choice of career, and possibly choice of spouse,
- It costs a small fortune, and
- You feel unprepared for helping your child make the "best" choice so you default to the school you attended, one that is nearby, one that has name recognition, or one that is perceived to be cost-effective.
Recently I had the opportunity to speak to parents of children who will be first-generation college students. The topic was "Parenting to Your Child's Personality" and the group was The Ohio State University Young Scholars Program. Then I led a seminar for teachers of my local school district entitled "Motivating Students - An Exploratory Dialogue." In both venues there seemed to be broad agreement on three claims: - The cost of college continues to rise far faster than inflation and virtually any other area of expense,
- College is the new high school - meaningful employment now more than ever requires a college degree, and
- If we are honest, not every student should attend college - some would benefit more from effective apprenticeship or vocational training opportunities.
Perhaps like some of you, I graduated from college before realizing it was an option, attended the same school as my parents and siblings without visiting other schools, and never prepped for standardized tests. Today we are much more conscious about the process of selecting an institution and preparing our children to have the most compelling admissions résumé. But we're still frustrated by the process and often by the outcome. There are more than 2,500 4-year colleges and universities in the United States. If you add in 2-year schools the number swells to more than 4,000 (some put the number as high as 7,000 "higher education institutions"). That means there are anywhere from 50 to 140 choices per state, with the number being far higher in larger states. How could you possibly research each school in order to help your child make the best choice? I'm working with two colleagues on a project to make this process more meaningful and productive. We've still got a ways to go, so I'm not yet ready to articulate our answers. Here's some of what I believe I know: - The college selection process needs to start with understanding our children and move out from there to narrowing the list of available schools.
- Children need freedom to choose career paths that diverge from those of their parents, as well as the interests of their parents.
- Effectively selecting a college is not a three-month process conducted during a student's junior year of high school - students need to start much earlier.
- Campus visits are critical to the process as they allow prospects to speak with students and faculty members, attend classes, tour the facilities, and get a general feel for the school as a personal fit.
- It is possible for students to save thousands of dollars (tens of thousands) if they start early and make a few wise choices.
Over spring break I'm taking our oldest on a college road trip stretching from Ohio to New York. We will visit a variety of schools that differ in size, location (urban, suburban, and rural), type (public and private, religiously affiliated and non-religiously affiliated), cost, and diversity. The objective is to help identify the type of school that may be a fit. Additionally, I want to exploit this opportunity for concentrated conversations about issues of significance. Four things I'd recommend at this point:
- Get to know your child's strengths and preferences, thinking about the careers that correlate well with these.
- Encourage your child to shadow professionals in fields of interest, asking a lot of questions to see if there's genuine interest and a good fit.
- Visit schools and avoid shutting down the process too early. Stop by colleges and universities when you are traveling as a family; keep learning about what's out there and the type of institution that is the best fit for each child. Summer vacation may not be the ideal time to visit a school since it may not be in full operation, but if you're driving by a college I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to stop in and look around.
- Remember that you are preparing your child for independence - to step out from under the umbrella of your direct, daily influence. If not now, when?
What I would love from each of you - an e-mail (stephen@julianconsulting.org) detailing the questions you have about the college selection process, the stressors in that process, the concerns that you have, what you feel you wish you knew but don't, the questions your children are asking, and anything else that you are thinking about in this process. We want to try and address these concerns in our upcoming book and corresponding website. Keep refining your college selection process and your child will reap benefits for life. |
