I will never forget the day in 2001 driving home from work, crying out to the Lord after hearing my wife Debbie had throat cancer.  To say that my life has never been the same is an understatement.  The next year and a half included radiation and chemo therapy for her illness that lasted 3 months, followed by the after effects of the treatment.  Being a man and attentive husband, I was in 'do mode' making sure that Debbie made all of her doctor and treatment visits on time... but not taking the time to process my feelings about the what happened.  

A year after Debbie's formal treatment ended, the emotional effects of what happened started to surface for me.  By God's grace and timing, an Embracing Life Series was beginning the next week at our church, Anaheim Vineyard.  Debbie, our 18 year old daughter Rebekah and myself joined the group.  While I initially attended ELS to support Debbie in dealing with her illness, by Session Three  it was all about me. 

 Fear, anxiety, doubt, sadness, isolation and 'who was going to take care of me' were some of the feelings and thoughts that manifested.  While I had addressed many of these issues in the past through therapy and prayer, it wasn't until I worked thorough them in a systematic way in ELS, that I began to experience a more consistent state of peace and hope.  Despite being a Christian for many years and having received much freedom, I can now truly say that my roller coaster ride of extreme highs and lows is over. While I still have the normal dips in the road, I know that with my Shepherd Jesus I can walk through " the valley of the shadow of death" on my ever-upward ascent toward heaven.