An unsuspecting tweeter casually chirped about a lucrative job offer from a US technology giant: "I have to weigh the utility of a fatty pay cheque against the daily commute and hating the work."
An eagle-eyed company representative tracked the tweet and replied, "Who is the hiring manager?
"I'm sure they would love to know that you will hate the work." They got to know and said tweeter's fate was sealed.
The above is a classic cautionary tale of injudicious online behaviour.
In face-to-face situations, too, we need to make sure that, like the tweet, the spark of the tongue doesn't ignite a forest fire.
There is an old proverb that goes: "He who is devoid of wisdom derides his neighbour, but a man of understanding holds his tongue."
The tongue of a leader is a powerful instrument for good or, potentially, for ill.
And as leaders, we are exposed to people and situations that can easily goad us into responding in an impulsive, ill-considered way.
Boxers wear a gum shield. I advocate a mental tongue guard for leaders.
It would make the perfect corporate gift - and protect or rescue countless business and personal relationships.
Tongue guard time is that interval - sometimes split-second - between what you hear and how you respond. It's the moment of discernment.
The tongue guard wearer:
- stays calmly assured under fire
- listens and understands first, then responds
- gives measured responses
- considers the wider impact of his or her words.
I don't advocate failure to confront. But confront calmly when you are clear of the facts and you have an outcome in mind.
Remaining calm and guarding your tongue in conflict situations invariably takes more courage than losing the rag.
There is a time and a place for venting our feelings, but engaging with discernment is more solid ground on which to build better relationships and results.
