The boss says "I"; the leader, "we," H Gordon Selfridge, US-born founder of the well-known London store, once observed.

One of the biggest turn-offs to would-be followers is egocentricity.

And the me-itis role models abound in today's reality TV-fuelled celebrity culture.

"Look at who I am and what I've done" needs a change of persona and tense. Such as: "This is what we can do. Now how can we make it happen together?"

It's not that everyone prone to conversational sprinklings of 'me, myself and I' sets out to be self-important, but that can be the imprint that they leave.

Conversely, as well as shifting the focus off 'me' and onto 'we', good leaders and strong communicators also show an interest in 'you.'

Nick Clegg (PR Week's Communicator of the Year as well as DPM) illustrated this approach perfectly in a prime ministerial TV debate:

"Tonight's debate is about you - about your job, the taxes you pay, your family, the prosperity of our country."

A friend and experienced leader said recently over coffee, "You're ('you' meant in the general sense) only a leader if people follow you."

These other kernels of Selfridge's wisdom on the boss v. leader divide suggest how we can encourage more willing team members:

• People will sit up and take notice of you if you will sit up and take notice of what makes them sit up and take notice.
• The boss drives the team; the leader coaches them.
• The boss depends upon authority; the leader on goodwill.
• The boss inspires fear; the leader inspires enthusiasm.
• The boss fixes the blame for the breakdown; the leader fixes the breakdown.
• The boss knows how it is done; the leader shows how.
• The boss says "Go"; the leader says "Let's go!"

So, in the week ahead, which one of these will you ( and, yes, "I"!) focus on to sharpen up on leadership?