Don Elium Newsletter ˇ Let's Get To It!
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Greetings!
Stuck, confused and in drama? This month's newsletter focuses on how constant confusion in a relationship is sometimes just a signal that you don't like what you are seeing and refuse to investigate the truth of it. This month's column focuses on how sincere effort isn't enough, when it is directed away from the reality of what is really happening. Also, what are the two major signs that a person is an alcoholic? (Meaning when you should not drink at all)-- Click Here. If you have a question or a topic you would like addressed, please send it along to Don@DonElium.com. Not all questions will appear in newsletter, but all will receive a response. Please share this newsletter with those friends that you care about most! You can check for the weekly Blog at http://donelium.blogspot.com/Let's Get To It! Don Elium, MA MFT(Lic. # MFC28381) |
ASK DON:
He Cheats and I'm Confused:
Can I Trust Him Now?
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Dear Don,
I enjoy your articles, and they inspire me to confront the issues that I face in my life and in my relationship. I feel totally lost and confused. My fiancé wants us to get married in six months. We have been together for about six years, and it has been hard. Our feeling of love is so strong, and we depend totally on each other for support. He started cheating on me, and when I finally found out, I confronted him, and then I called it quits. After a few weeks, I begged him to take me back, but he said "No," so I moved on with my life. Then, he begged me to take him back. It was too difficult to refuse, because I felt he had changed.
Now that we are preparing to marry, I am afraid that he has not changed, and that he is still cheating but I just haven't caught him. I know that he loves me, but I feel uncertain. Because of his cheating my parents insisted that I stop seeing him, but I saw him anyway behind their backs. I am keeping our marriage plans from my parents, and I don't feel good about lying to them. What should I do? I am so confused.
Sincerely,
Michelle
Dear Michelle,
You are not confused. You just don't like what you are seeing and
feeling. You are just afraid to face it squarely and really
investigate what is really going on in this relationship . . .
[Click Here To Read Answer]
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| Individual Counseling |
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There is nothing wrong with you. Life is just harder than you ever expected!
Getting lost in your circumstances is not a disease! Life is just harder than you ever imagined it would be. You lose your way by doing the same old thing over and over and expecting a different result. You find your way by learning something significantly new that stops the old patterns and opens up free and flexible choices about the possibilities in your life right now.
Something significantly new awaits you . . .
[Click Here for Info on Individual Counseling]
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| Couple Psychotherapy |
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Stuck in Vicious Cycles?
"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there." --Rumi
Getting lost in your relationship is not a failure. Being true to yourself and being close to those you love is just harder than you ever imagined it would be. You lose your way by trying to do more or less of something to relieve the pressure in the relationship instead of resolving the underlying conflict that is causing the pressure.
In this therapy, partners receive straightforward, compassionate guidance to identify the unresolved, underlying issues that keep them in conflict in the marriage. Significant new learning supports partners to be true to themselves, to be close to their mates, and to develop a sense of belongingness. Honesty, vulnerability, integrity, respect, and transparency guide the therapy and discussions . . .
[Click Here for Info on Couple Counseling]
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| The MarriageSchool.com For Out of Towners |
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Get to the Heart of It
TheMarriageSchool.com is especially designed for couples who are unable to attend weekly appointments or who live out of the area. In a series of nine personalized sessions over a three-day period, couples immediately begin to get to the heart of the underlying problems in their marriage. Partners identify their individual roles and practice new options for dealing with long standing, difficult, and even hidden issues. Compassion, honesty, integrity, respect, and transparency guide the therapy and discussions.
[Click Here for Info on The Marriage School]
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| Be Set Free Fast Technique for Emotional Over-reaction
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Find the Calm in the Emotional Storm
Every day you tell yourself that you won't act that way again. But, then you do.
ˇ Lonely at night, you lay beside the one you love, upset, after another round of the same argument that you've had for years.
ˇ You experience personal loses and yet feel no emotions.
ˇ Uncontrollable anger persists.
ˇ You hear yourself speaking in a demeaning, hurtful way.
ˇ You chronically let others walk all over you.
Precious moments are lost when troublesome emotional and behavioral habits get in the way. Psychotherapy with the technique Be Set Free Fast brings freedom of choice in the places where negative habits are controlling the relationships you value most. [Click Here To Read More]
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Thank you and the best to you this month!
Sincerely,
Member California Association of Marriage & Family Therapist
Accredited as a provider of Continuing Education by the
Board of Behavioral Sciences, State of California, Approval No. PCE 3717
(Lic. # MFC28381)
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