Maureen Walsh, RN and Emily Lazar, Social Worker, joined forces in 2007 to create Grief Weavers, a bereavement service for those who are grieving the death of someone significant in their lives. Grief Weavers helps facilitate the grief process by providing an environment in which bereaved persons can acknowledge, understand, and integrate or "weave" grief and loss into their lives.

       Maureen says, "Grief is a normal reaction to loss. It includes a broad range of feelings and thoughts such as sadness, anger, and confusion. In today's fast-paced, high-tech world, grief is often not acknowledged so the bereaved person is left without a way to express those feelings and thoughts. Grief affects us emotionally, physically, intellectually and spiritually. It is all-encompassing and unique to each individual."  

    
     Some people who are grieving enjoy the peer support of others who have had a similar loss-for those people, Grief Weavers tries to provide support groups; however there does have to be a minimum number for a group so sometimes there is a waiting list for groups. Mostly Maureen meets one-on-one with individuals, couples and/or families. Children are very welcome and seem to benefit greatly from engaging in many of the memory quilts and projects undertaken.  

     Children can sometimes be overlooked if the parents themselves are in so much pain. It is good for the children to have a place where they can learn about their own grief. Maureen explains, "Grief is often compared to a journey, a journey that no one wants to take. I cannot take away your grief or help you grieve faster. I will however, be a companion on your grief journey, providing a safe space where you can begin to explore and hopefully come to understand your grief."     

       Maureen received her BS in Nursing from the University of Rhode Island in 1976. She has worked in both inpatient and outpatient settings, providing care to people of all ages. For more than a decade she has worked as a school nurse and health educator. She lectures throughout the Boston area on teenage health issues and is a certified coordinator and facilitor of Rainbows, an international grief support program for children.  

       Maureen sees clients in Weymouth and Kingston. She may be contacted by phone @ 781-856-4702 or email @ mfwalsh@griefweavers.com. (Emily is on a sabbatical and is not seeing clients at this time.)     

      John Keohane says, "Maureen is a Certified Thanatologist ... she has studied the effects of death and dying and has expertise in ways to lessen suffering and to address the needs of those who have lost a loved one. We often refer the families we serve to Grief Weavers. Families tell us that Grief Weavers has been a valuable resource for them and helped them through a very difficult time. We are grateful to have them as a valued resource."

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Our thanks to Maureen Walsh of Grief Weavers for giving us some good advice to help in dealing with the holidays.   

      After the death of a loved one, facing the holidays can be extremely painful. We are bombarded by Christmas advertisements, some starting as early as mid-October.  Everyone seems to be proclaiming the season of good cheer and hawking all the fixings needed for the perfect Holiday. Christmas music is played 24/7 on several stations while television is showing the latest in holiday movies every night for weeks on end. In addition to the overall seasonal mania are your family's traditions and rituals which can suddenly become quite burdensome when you are grieving. Here are a few suggestions to help you survive this holiday season. 

• Have a plan. Think about the various invitations and give yourself permission to say "No, thank you" if you don't want to participate this year. An explanation isn't required; you can always say, "Not this year thank you; perhaps next year." If there is celebration that you would like to attend, have an exit strategy in place in case you wish to leave early. Go with a good friend who you can count on to leave at a moment's notice without attracting attention.
• Be careful with alcohol. Drinking can numb the pain of grief but it does so only for a little while and when the drink wears off the pain is right there, many times worse than before. Resist the temptation to over consume.
• Don't be ruled by traditions. Holiday traditions are very special; they connect us to generations past and bring much joy. However, there is no rule that says you have to do everything the way it's been done in the past. If a tradition seems onerous, pass on it this year; you can always return to it in the future. On the other hand, some grieving families find comfort in following the old routines. Either way is fine - whatever works for you and your loved ones.
• Grief is exhausting. Many don't realize that grief is emotionally and physically exhausting. Pamper yourself - take naps, drinks lots of non-alcoholic fluids, and eat healthy. Exercise in whatever way works for you; but make sure you do exercise. Try to get outside every day even if only for a little while. Be with people that support and comfort you. Avoid those who don't understand your needs.
• Help others. It may sound silly to help others when your own heart is broken but reaching out to others who are hurting is a beautiful way to honor your loved one who died. There are so many ways to help - donate clothing or food to the homeless, visit someone in a nursing home, volunteer at a local library or school, reach out to others that are grieving and have a dinner together, the list is endless ... helping others eases your pain.
• Start a new tradition. This might be the year that you greet the holidays with a new tradition. Discuss it with your family and friends - doing something different can be a relief from rituals that are too painful this year.   
• Shield yourself. If the radio music is too much, make sure you have your own CD's in the car. If the malls are too much, shop on-line or seek out small shops in less congested areas. If you just can't write Christmas cards this year - don't. No excuses necessary. Keep the TV off if you can't tolerate another toy commercial; have non-holiday DVD's ready or preprogram your TV to play what you want to see.
• Nourish your spirituality. Look to your faith or religious practices for solace. Seek the true meaning of the season; find comfort in the quiet of meditation. Many find help in prayer while others in grief can't find words to pray. Find silence and the message in your heart will be heard by God.  

       Remember that there is no right or wrong way to experience grief; nor is there a time limit for our feelings. We all experience loss differently. We hope that these suggestions will help you get through this time of year and to choose the strategies that are right for you.

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Second Successful Year  

For Harvest Helpers    

       For the second year, Keohane Funeral & Cremation Service partnered with Interfaith Social Services to carry out Harvest Helpers, a program to provide families in need with fresh and nutritious produce at the Interfaith Food Pantry in Quincy. The garden at Keohane Funeral Home yielded tomatoes, green peppers, beans, cucumbers, zuchinni, and herbs that were donated to the Food Pantry.  

       Rick Doane, Executive Director of Interfaith Social Services, says, "This year we had almost daily deliveries of fresh home-grown produce each week throughout the growing season. In fact, we were still getting deliveries up until mid-November! The food came to us in small bags and large boxes. We even got anonymous donations left at our door in the mornings!"

        Inspired by Harvest Helpers, Dr. Christopher Brown of Brown Family Chiropractic Services in Quincy, collected fresh food donations from clients each week and delivered them to the Food Pantry. In addition, Interfaith's own team of 90 weekly volunteers participated in growing produce.

       Despite the growth Harvest Helpers has seen in the past year, Rick Doane reports that "We need more gardeners to participate. We have thousands of hungry families on the South Shore and we need the community's involvement to be able to help these families."

       "Our Garden at Keohane's is well-tended by Scott Whittemore of our staff with both physical labor and love. The garden has become another way in which we join together to assist our neighbors in need. We are thrilled to be able to help the Food Pantry not only feed, but nourish people with healthy, home-grown produce," said Dennis Keohane.

       Joe Reardon, Director of Advance Planning at Keohane Funeral and Cremation Services, added "Harvest Helpers is definitely a group effort and we want to thank the Wollaston Garden Club, The Sea Side Gardeners in Squantum, Houghsneck Garden Club, and the Center Farmers Market for their help in distributing free plants to gardeners who joined with us this year to grow produce for the Food Pantry. The impact of Harvest Helpers is far-reaching. This year we gave away hundreds of plants to those who agreed to grow and give. We hope that next year Harvest Helpers is even bigger!"         

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       Seventeen years and counting ... Carolyn Godfrey, Office Manager, began her career at Keohane Funeral and Cremation Service, in January 1993. "I'm known for my longevity," Carolyn says. "But it's the people that I work with and the attitude of the staff that keeps me here."

       "Working at Keohane's, believe it or not, is like being part of a little family. We spend a lot of time together and we all get along. We each lunch together - we are a team and that's very important to me," Carolyn added.  Carolyn and her husband Joseph of 41 years, bought a house in Quincy 32 years ago. Formerly Bostonians, they have two adult sons James and Brian, who both live nearby in Quincy.  

       As office manager, Carolyn is often the first contact for families. She sets up appointments for families to meet with the funeral directors and completes "lots of" required paperwork - something that most people don't even think about, but it is a necessary part of the process."  When Carolyn first considered going to work at Keohane's, she thought: "How busy could a funeral home job be? It's always nice and quiet and calm in a funeral home!" She gets teased about that all the time, because in truth, there are lots of tasks to be done, schedules to be worked out, and paperwork to be processed so that the funeral services run smoothly.

       "Carolyn Godfrey is a very important part of our staff," said John Keohane. She calls herself a 'paper pusher,' but she is much, much more. We would be lost without her organization and efficient handling of so many responsibilities."  

       Carolyn says, "It's easy when we work as a team and agree on one very important thing: the family always comes first."

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