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Story Sparks
"Stories are the sparks that light our ancestor's lives, the embers we blow on to illuminate our own"
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Greetings!

A few years ago I wrote a piece for Story Sparks about step-parenting. It was well-received. With the new Pew Research projection that one in four Americans have a step-relative within their families, I thought in this month of Mother's Day, it might be a good time to step up again about step-parenting.
My Portraits of the Heart novels grew out of a desire to discover my grandmother and what I call memory DNA, how we shared more than eye color or a love of the arts. She too married a man with three children. She too grieved with her husband at the death of a son. My grandmother shared time with her step-children's mother and found a way through the mine field of powerful adult relationships keeping children from being further wounded by the choices adults had made.
She stepped up well. I was an adult before I realized that people I called Aunt Winnie, Uncle Bob or Uncle Russell were actually my mother's half-siblings, my grandmother's step-sons and daughter. Somehow she raised her children to understand the connection between each of them as children cherished by their shared father and children loved by God. Descendants of those half-sibs tell stories of my grandmother as someone who cared for them, someone they liked being around and adored.
She must have stepped over those moments of disappointment with a forgotten Mother's Day card focusing instead on creating new memories. She must have cherished shared laughter over a bedtime story or stepped aside allowing her step-children to have alone time with their father accepting that these were requirements in a marriage not just between her and her husband but with his children as well. I know she stepped in at times of their mother's illnesses, sharing her comforting love.
Thirty-five years ago, when I took on the challenge of becoming a step-mother, I was buttressed by great loves, too: mine for my husband; his for me and his children; and our shared love of God. I confess, though, I had a pretty romanticized view. I dreamed of erasing the image of Hansel and Gretel's shrewish step-mom.I had high hopes like any new bride and any new mom has.
What I hadn't prepared for, despite my background in mental health, was reality! The painful moments of confusion and exclusion and lack of recognition. I wasn't their mother and yet I performed motherly duties, often. I didn't share my husband's memories with his children so easily spoken at the dinner table often leaving me shadowed in the kitchen. I was frustrated when we discovered the kids had managed to get the two of us arguing while they skipped out the door. This wasn't fun at all!
Thank goodness for good friends who stepped in to offer counsel and prayer. They reminded me that what our three children and I had in common was a shared love for this man and a desire to heal the wounds of past decisions while growing new flesh to form a new family. When their mother lay dying, I knew my stepping and stumbling as a step-parent had been worthy work as she told me: "You've been a friend to me. I leave my children in the best of hands."
Our kids are grown now yet Mother's Day is still a celebration of stepping: Stepping over hurts, to find the loving core within each of us. Stepping forward, to assert the importance of marriage to model for our children what caring and commitment look like. And stepping aside without feeling displaced knowing my step-children share with me a desire to be accepted, to know that we are loved both by the man in our lives and the Creator of us all. It's a day when I count the steps we've taken together to weather the storms and celebrate the many more days of sailing calmer seas.
The word "family" comes from the Latin word Famalus meaning servant. I think that's what my grandmother must have figured out. To have a servant's heart as a step-mother is to live the story of how God steps into our lives to bring healing and grace every day of the year.
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Lilacs Blooming
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Thanks to you, we had a smashing time the week that Where Lilacs Still Bloom was released in mid-April. A couple of television interviews, one with the #1 garden show in the Northwest www.gardentime.tv/thisweek.htm and numerous blog reviewers saying kind things as well as a full page Oregonian article in the garden section helped make the book events well-attended and the lilac garden's fund-raising event a huge success.
But what really brought out the readers was you, telling your friends about the Hulda Klager lilac gardens and the story of Hulda's persistence and passion. Thank you all so much for that! The book made the Pacific Northwest Booksellers Bestseller list for the first two weeks of its release! We're grateful. And there's still time to visit the garden (10-4 if you're in the northwest) but you can also visit via www.lilacgardens.com. Take time to smell the lilacs!
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Winner! |
More than 4500 people registered to win my publisher's contest to win a flower a month for a year. It was the publisher's biggest response to a contest! Well of course: flowers are just the very best joy one can give to another...and to ourselves. The winner was picked this past week and we await her acceptance...thanks to all who participated. My blog hop also had a grand prize winner of $50 and a signed copy of each of the blog hop author's books. Angie Wright won that award and she surprised me with a lovely review, too. http://pebblekeeper.wordpress.com/2012/04/22/where-lilacs-still-bloom-a-book-for-my-nature-lovin-bloggers/ Thanks Angie!
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Healing
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Jerry and I have had a rough patch this spring. Since March 9, I've had a chronic cough that seems to have no purpose other than to make me tired and wonder what I'm doing to make it worse. Maybe it's trying to tell me to just rest a bit. But out of it have come old remedies for coughs (put mentholatum on the bottom of my feet and wear old socks to bed, for one, that helped!). A neighbor loaned me her children's humidifier. Another friend introduced me to Fisherman's Friends cough lozenges. The lozenges allowed me to make presentations without coughing my way through them. I engaged in acupuncture and Chinese herbs and upped the number of massage treatments. Saw my stomach ulcer person who said it wasn't related to acid reflux. An inhaler, cough medicine and antibiotics 10 days ago seems to have done the trick. Today I'm on the mend. I even took the dogs for a short walk. Hurrah!
Jerry also had his share of excitement. He fell down 11 concrete steps at a hotel we were staying at. Missed the first step and down he went. He had the presence of mind to curl himself (I would have likely fallen splat on my face!). I was sure his arm and possibly his hip were broken and worried that his back might have been reinjured as well. While he was whisked off to the x-ray, I sat in the emergency room and tried to figure out whether to have the surgery there or take him back to Bend. I tried to imagine how to rearrange the book tour giving me time to get him safely to surgery and to tend him afterwards.
Amazingly, though he'll be 82 next month, he had no broken bones! A sprained left arm, lots of lost skin, a bruised shoulder and hip, and a sprained neck as well. I'm sure the fall did little for his already bad back but he's gotten through it.
We've gotten through it.
And I learned something about "planning." I sat in that ER room trying to decide where Jerry should have his surgery. That was wasted time. He didn't need surgery. Prayers, deep breathing, a bit of calm in the storm would have been more productive. urrH
Sometimes in my effort to get all my ducks in a row, I instead add new ducks that don't need to be there. Later, they quack away, mocking me for my "plans." Proverbs reminds us: "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." I appear to need constant reminders of that. If you occasionally do, may our story be your reminder today.
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Jane's Schedule
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Take a look and see where our paths might cross in May.
WHEN: Thursday, May 10, 7:00 p.m. WHERE: The Book Bin, 450 Court St., NE, Salem, Oregon
WHEN: Saturday, May 12
WHERE: Aurora Colony Museum, Aurora, Oregon WHAT: Free Signing: 10:00 AM; "Remembering Emma Presentation" 1:00 Tickets required
WHEN: Sunday, May 13 - Mother's Day! 2:00 p.m. WHERE: St. Helen's Book Shoppe, 2149 Columbia Blvd. St. Helens, Or 97051 . Call the bookstore at 503-397-4917 for more information.
WHEN: Saturday, May 19, 1:30 p.m. WHERE: Three Sisters Fellowship, 442 Trinity Way, Sisters, Oregon WHAT:"CELEBRATING FRIENDS & FAITH," a ladies' tea For more information contact Laura Anderson Laura@threesistersfellowship.com
WHEN: Saturday, May 19, 7:00 p.m. WHERE: Sunriver Books & Music, Sunriver, Oregon, presentation and signing.
WHEN: Sunday, May 20 WHERE: Sunriver Books & Music -- and great vistas of Sunriver Meadows and the Cascade Mountains. WHAT: Second annual Newberry Habitat for Humanity walk and fundraiser. Bring your dog pals and join Jane for a great walk around Sunriver and take in the foliage celebrating generosity, a theme of Jane's latest book, Where Lilacs Still Bloom.
WHEN: Monday, May 21, 7:00 p.m. WHERE: Dudley's Book Store, 135 Minnesota, Bend, Oregon WHAT: AAUW Bend Branch, Book Club.
WHEN: Thursday, May 24, 7:00 p.m. WHERE: Walla Walla Public Library, 238 E. Alder St., Walla Walla, Washington WHAT: The Daughter's Walk and Where Lilacs Still Bloom will be Jane's subjects
WHEN: Friday, June 1, 7:00-8:00 p.m. WHERE: Leavenworth Library, 700 Hwy. 2, Leavenworth, Washington WHEN: Saturday, June 2, 1:00-3:00 p.m. WHERE: A Book For All Seasons, 703 Hwy. 2, Leavenworth, Washington
WHEN: Sunday, June 3, 1:00 p.m. WHERE: Sherman County Historical Museum, Moro, Oregon WHAT: Join Jane for a presentation and tea to welcome summer
WHEN: Sunday, June 17, 10:45 a.m. WHERE: Moro Community Presbyterian Church, Moro, Oregon WHAT: Jane is the lay pastor for the morning service. It's Father's Day, too. Come join the gathering.
WHEN: Saturday, June 23. Workshop 9:00 a.m., Keynote presentation 7:00 p.m. WHERE: Psalm Center, Corban University, 5000 Deer Park Dr. SE, Salem, Oregon WHAT: Jane will present the keynote and a workshop at this conference called Portal: Art and Faith Writer's Conference at Corban University in Salem, home of such fine writers as Oregon Book Award Winner Gina Ochsner who is the conference coordinator. Jane will speak about the writing life as a reflection of faith. For more information gochsner@corban.edu.
For all event information and updates, please visit Jane's website and click on News and Events. Thanks!
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Word Whisperings |
Wildflowers from Winter by Katie Ganshert. (May 8, 2012) WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.
I once wrote about a wild lily that bloomed only after a terribly harsh winter. I loved the hardiness and promise of that lily. Bethany Quinn, the protagonist in Katie Ganshert's debut novel, is told about wildflowers blooming most profusely after a heavy-snow winter. She's speaking with Evan Price, the man who runs her grandfather's farm in Iowa and it's during a tough time for Katie who, like a porcupine, has barbs that poke her and also keep others away.
She's come for a brief visit with her grandfather, leaving a boyfriend in Chicago where Bethany is an up and coming architect who has everything "planned out." Until the husband of her former best friend's accident brings her back to her hometown. Things only get worse from there, the winter deep and cold before we see the wildflowers that will bloom in spring.
Katie Ganshert www.KatieGanshert.com has chosen a tough subject for a first novel and done a fine job of handling it. We care about the characters first and foremost and watch as they struggle with trials that could affect any of us. We see her make mistakes out of hurt and disappointment. A source of comfort, one's faith, has been shattered for Katie by her mother's behavior years ago and by what she perceives as a meddling, sham of a television pastor who entered her mother's life as her father was dying.
The story unfurls at a rapid pace with vivid imagery and authentic emotions and dialogue that I can imagine being spoken. (Writers often eavesdrop, it's a terrible habit and I felt like I was eavesdropping on Katie's characters.)
Most of all, Katie is aware of the pain that organized religion can sometimes cause people and what keeps them away from grace. Author Brian McClaren speaks of the need for "soft landings" for people seeking faith renewal who might have experienced deep pain as a result of a church encounter. I think Katie understands that need.
In the midst of it all is a love story. The love of a man for a woman; of a woman discovering what is worthy about loving in herself; and the love and faithfulness of God bringing spring from the winter.
Katie, a Midwesterner, also participated in my blog hop for which I'm grateful. I hope you'll enjoy her first novel Wildflowers from Winter! I did.
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I hope you've enjoyed Story Sparks for May, 2012. Thanks for putting the book on the PNBA Bestseller List!
Take some time and smell the flowers where ever you are.
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