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Story Sparks
"Stories are the sparks that light our ancestor's lives, the embers we blow on to illuminate our own" |
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Greetings!
Our little Cavalier King Charles Spaniel tries to get above the chaos at our house. He's safe and secure on top of the couch but he still has that look of uncertainty. Maybe he knows: these are uncertain times with no clear or easy fixes.
Last month, I served as a guest conversationalist with Dr. Steven Koski, the pastor at our newly joined First Presbyterian Church. (This was the church I led a women's retreat at more than a year ago and while there affirmed the decision that when we moved, we ought to come back to Bend and be a part of this very accepting, faithful, serving group of people. And so here we are.)
What we talked about was a narrative of hope and courage in times of trial. The scripture from Joshua spoke of the days following Moses death when things were in chaos and grief: uncertainty. Steven pointed out that in such times just being positive really isn't enough. We can stand in our garden full of weeds and with affirmation say: "there are no weeds." That just doesn't cut it -- or the weeds. Hope is what we seek during uncertain days, hope that comes from a deeper, spiritual place.
I've always liked the definition of hope given by Vaclav Havel in Disturbing the Peace, a book written while he was imprisoned for railing against communism in what later became the Czech Republic (and before he became its first president). "Hope is an orientation of the spirit, an orientation of the heart. It's the ability to begin something not just because it has a chance to succeed but because it's a good thing to do. It's not the certainty that everything will turn out well but the absolute conviction that something is worth doing regardless of how it turns out."
While at Warm Springs working with families of children with special needs, I learned much about hope and how to deal with twists and turns and uncertainties in our life stories. A group of neonatal intensive care units (NICU) hoping to help families of children born prematurely helped inform me about what most of us want when we're in that wilderness place whether as parents of preemies or people out of work, worrying about a loved one's health, loss of our home, you name it. Steven and I shared stories about the three things parents said they needed because they seem to be what most of us need to live a better story.
First, parents said, give me information. Don't tell me how to use it, but tell me what's happening. Many preemies are flown off to a NICU far away from the mom and family and when parents do arrive it's to another world of machines and people "doing" things to their baby. Parents want information to make good decisions.
When Jerry was diagnosed with bladder cancer, that's exactly what we wanted: information, so we could face the uncertainty with a little more wisdom and courage. Steven pointed out that often it's our imagination that helps us out of tough times but our imagination can also send us spinning into fear and anxiety. He told the story of the first man to go from sea level to the top of Mount Everest and how his wife at the base camp was at one point out of communication for three days. The climber said his wife had a worse time of it than he did. All he had to do was cross crevices: she had to deal with all the possibilities of what could be wrong. We need information to proceed and to temper our imaginations that shoot us with fear into the future. A good acronym for fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.
The second thing parents said they wanted was help connecting to their babies. A baby born full term is wired to connect to the world outside. But a preemie must put all her energy into surviving and often parents can't even hold their baby. They must learn new ways to come together. Nurses might describe "see how his heart rate changes when he hears your voice?" so a father will know that his son is distinguishing who he is and that he has someone he belongs to. Babies who spend time "skin to skin" lying on their mom's breast or father's chest gain weight 5 times faster than babies merely cuddled, that's how important touch is to our lives, especially during tough times.
In a wilderness place of uncertainty, we too may need to learn new ways to connect. Maybe it's accepting help from someone, giving them the honor of being generous. Maybe it's finding a way to give to someone else. I remember a woman telling me that four days after 9/11 she realized that a Pakistani family living on her street had yet to come out of their home; the shades were drawn. She didn't know them nor did she speak their language but she asked what she could do and decided "I can bake bread." Which is what she did, the connection launching a relationship with a family she broke bread with. Steven shared the story of Victor Frankl, a holocaust survivor. He noticed that the people who survived those horrors had nothing to do with gender or education or even health. The ones who survived were those who took their little pieces of bread given daily and shared them with the old, the sick, with children. Connecting to our humanity matters.
Finally, parents said they needed spiritual support . Often that meant having access to a priest or Rabbi, a church or mosque. But even more, they needed to know that they would not be judged harshly. When we're in a wilderness place, we aren't always at our best and parents knew that. We might melt down, rage, even be unreasonable at times. But to know that someone would accept them just as they were, to walk beside them, that was spiritual support. Many NICUs made it a policy that if a parent chose you -- dietician, janitor, nurse, surgeon -- to want to talk to, or rail at, that you had the NICU permission to make that your most important job, chosen to be the one to walk beside them, to listen, and accept.
What we do with the energy of uncertainty can change the very way we see our lives. Steven closed with a story of research done at my alma mater, the University of Wisconsin. There the question of what helps people endure brought this answer: people who found new ways to write their stories in a time of trial, were those who at an early age were taught that they mattered, that they were worthy souls who would one day make their mark wherever they were, whatever the circumstance.
We are a people who like to fix things and sometimes we cannot. But we can always become clear about what matters in our lives and have the courage to act on that. We can always access hope. And we can remember the assurance God gave Joshua, that God would never leave him nor forsake him and that he did not need to be afraid. Neither do we. |
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Blog Hop & A Chance to Win! | 
In case you're looking for a sweet diversion these next two weeks.... I'm hosting a blog hop beginning 11/7 and ending 11/19 for all the authors of the New York Times Best-selling A Log Cabin Christmas. The prize is TWO copies signed by all nine authors (one for you and one for a terrific Christmas gift). You can start at any point; just go back to 11/7 and post on the various blogs. I hope you'll join me in meeting new authors and visiting their blogs about log cabins, writing, Christmas and life. Post each day responding to questions for a chance to win. Begin on Monday by visiting Words of Encouragement, or www.jkbooks.com and click on the contests tab to see where you'll be headed next! Happy hopping! Jane |
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Breaking News!!! |
LOS ANGELES - USABookNews.com, the premiere online magazine and review website for mainstream and independent publishing houses, announced the winners and finalists of THE USA "BEST BOOKS 2011" AWARDS on November 1, 2011 Award highlights include the following:
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The Daughter's Walk by Jane Kirkpatrick (Water Brook/Random House) took home the "Best General Fiction" prize.
(Full results listing available on USABooknews.com) |
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Word Whisperings |
 A Sacred Place: Memoirs of a Female Hunter, By Sherrie Gant. Createspace.com, 2010.
This is hunting season around the country. In the old days, people hunted game for their Thanksgiving dinners as well as for winter's stores. Thanks to Jerry, our freezer is full of elk and venison. My brother and his sons will tromp the ground of Minnesota and Wisconsin seeking white tail deer. It is a way of life for millions of families.
This month's highlighted book is written by Sherrie Gant. Hunting has been a part of her life since she was a young girl and her dad -- and mom -- took her out to the high desert seeking mule deer or into the dense woods of Eastern Oregon hunting for elk. Sherrie's sister is also a hunter and their families look forward each year to spending a week or ten days at a camp in Oregon. Whether they fill their tags or not, this tradition defines them. A Sacred Place is the story of those hunting trips and how they informed her family, became milestones of her marriage and of her life.
Sherry paints with rich word pictures. She began writing for other people to read 20 plus years ago when she and her husband became a part of our Homestead story. Yes, this is the Sherrie, the "long, tall drink of water" who helped us build our ranch on Starvation Lane. Sometimes the nights got pretty long and Sherrie began writing about things she knew: horses, ranching, hunting. She sold a few articles and when she and her husband Dennis returned to Bend and time allowed between keeping their own ranch and raising their daughter, she wrote. I'm glad she did.
There are moments of grief in the book and how the sacred place became a landscape of reverence. There is respect for the animals in this story. Jerry always told me when at first I was squeamish about hunting that worse than killing for meat would be to have the herds become diseased or starved as habitat is taken over by humans and natural predators decline. Sherrie wanted a book to leave for her family but this is also a book about how a landscape shapes all of us.
Sherrie took the cover photograph herself and she worked with Creatspace.com to bring out a professional book. It will speak to women involved in traditionally male sports but more it speaks of family and the power of a place in our hearts. Good job, Sherrie! |
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Jane's Holiday Schedule |
WHEN: Monday, November 14, 12:00-2:00 p.m.
WHERE: The View restaurant at Juniper Golf Club, 1938 SW Elkhorn Ave., Redmond, Oregon.
WHAT: REDMOND NEWCOMER'S LUNCHEON with Jane as guest speaker. She's a newcomer, too! Lunch is $12, reservations can be made through Barbara at 541-410-5843. Newcomers meet the second Monday of each month. Join a friendly group who are happy to be in Central Oregon. Share lunch and stories.
WHEN: Saturday, November 19 - 12:00-4:00 p.m.
WHERE: Montgomery Park, 2701 NW Vaughn St., Portland, Oregon.
WHAT: WILD ARTS FESTIVAL, sponsored by Portland Audubon Society. Join Jane and dozens of other authors and artists at a terrific place to find that special gift designed/crafted by people who love the great outdoors. Jane will have her three newest books available and some old favorites. Proceeds go to support the Audubon Society of Portland. Come pick up Barcelona Calling, A fee is charged to see the fabulous vendor items and meet all the authors. Visit www.wildartsfestival.org for more details.
DECEMBER
WHEN: Friday, December 2, 7:00 p.m.
WHERE: Westside Church, 2051 NW Shevlin Park Rd., Bend, Oregon.
WHAT: WOMEN'S ANNUAL CHRISTMAS TEA. Join Jane at Westside Church in her new hometown of Bend, Oregon! This event is open to anyone wishing to celebrate a little Christmas joy. Take a moment to slow down from what can be a rushing season and find laughter and respite among women. Tickets are $12.00. Contact Tony Hamman at thhamman@westsidechurch.org for more information.
WHEN: Sunday, December 4, 12 noon to 4:00 p.m.
WHERE: Oregon Historical Society (Miller Pavilion), 1200 SW Park Ave., Portland, Oregon.
WHAT: OHS 44th ANNUAL HOLIDAY CHEER PARTY- "A Celebration of Oregon Authors." Jane will have three titles there this year where you can complete your holiday shopping for the book lovers on your list. She'll be there with dozens of other Northwest authors.
WHEN: Thursday, December 8, 7:00 p.m.
WHERE: Sunset Presbyterian Church, 14986 NW Cornell Rd., Portland, Oregon.
WHAT: COLUMBIA-WILLAMETTE CHAPTER of WOMEN OF VISION. Join Jane as she speaks of Casting for Vision, as we enter into the Christmas season and the New Year. For tickets and more information visit their website at www.cwwov.org.
WHEN: Saturday, December 10, 10:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. Find Jane from 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.
WHERE: Lane County Events Center, Eugene, Oregon.
WHAT: Artists' & Authors' Fair. This is the place to do your Christmas and other holiday shopping. Jane will have her three newest books of this year for sale and signing, but you'll also encounter dozens of other authors and artists with delicious and decorative wares to fill your holiday stockings. This is a fundraiser for the Eugene Public Library.
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Lilac Events | 
Already spring events are planned for the release of Where Lilacs still Bloom. Join Jane in Woodland, Washington for the launch of Where Lilacs Still Bloom. Visit www.lilacgardens.org for details about the April 20, 2012 event. Bring a friend and discover the community and the garden where Hulda Klager built her life...and became the subject of my latest novel. |
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Beachside Writers |
This past month I was asked to write a letter of recommendation for a young woman hoping to enter a university creative writing program. It happened that I met this young woman when she was 17 and had arrived from Texas with her brother to attend Beachside Writers, a program begun by my good friend (and first writing instructor) Bob Welch. That year, he'd asked me to be a guest lecturer and he's had me back ever since. That young woman had invested her time and money in pursuing her dream to be a writer -- which she surely is.
Each year at Beachside Writers is a treasure, whatever the weather. It's an inspirational weekend for the instructors and the class which is limited to 50 people. We have repeaters! The food is phenomenal and the video shows a portion of the ambience that says to each attendee, "You are special, you are a writer and we are so glad that you're here!"
You can join us in 2012. March 3-5 at Yachats, Oregon. Consider our gathering as a Christmas present for the would-be writer in your life -- including yourself. Registration is at www.bobwelch.net. (Note the NET!)
 | | Beachside Writers 2012 |
You can also access this video at http://www.jkbooks.com or http://vimeo.com/31385176
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Thanksgiving is not far away. We don't have any special traditions except that Jerry and I itemize the many things we're thankful for. This year especially it's our good health despite the challenges; it's having a home that is warm and was loved long before we were blessed to purchase it; for renewed friendships, new connections, and the privilege of living in a country that opened its arms to immigrants or we may well have been celebrating Thanksgiving in Germany (me) or Scotland/Ireland (Jerry). Nice places to visit indeed, but we're so grateful our ancestors chose to come here to make their way and found a way to make. It's our hope that sometime this month you'll remember all you have despite the things that may be missing in your lives. Make it a month of gratitude in the midst of uncertainty. |
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