School is Not Real Life
Boys in Primary Grade Classrooms
By Deborah L. Ruf, Ph.D.
A client couple recently asked me to observe
their nearly five-year-old son in his small
private school K-1 classroom (that's
kindergarten through 1st grade). Their little
boy was already tested and found to be
exceptionally gifted, so the school was willing
to accept him into their program before he
was five years old. But he hated school and
wasn't making the progress that anyone had
envisioned. They told me that the teacher, a
young woman in her first year of teaching,
was interested in whatever
recommendations I might make to "engage"
this child in learning at school.
First, I watched the eight little girls vie for top
spot by finishing all they were asked to do
quickly and perfectly. The girls set to work
immediately when the teacher told them
what they were to do. I watched the four little
boys slide around in their seats-or fall off
completely-or get up and walk around, ask
to go to the bathroom, rip holes in the paper
with pencil and scissors, put their heads on
their desks, and otherwise not even begin to
do what they were asked to do. The boy I
was asked to watch behaved in all
the "wrong" ways just as his parents had
been told, but absolutely the same way as
the other boys in the class.
Is sitting still and doing exactly what the
teacher tells you to do a prerequisite for a
good life? Is there something wrong with the
boys or with the schools for expecting all
children to sit still and be quiet? When
schools tout their "developmentally
appropriate" curriculums, do they talk about
allowing active young boys to explore, handle
objects, run around, and use their
kinesthetic, visual and spatial abilities, the
primary learning modes of males? We need
to ask ourselves, what is "developmentally
appropriate"-and in what ways-for whom?
I am a high intelligence specialist, but when
the parents of a bright boy come to me
because they are considering early entrance
to kindergarten (starting school before the
usual age five), I almost always discourage
it. The home, preschool, and kindergarten
environments are almost always more boy-
friendly than grade school because they are
more flexible and allow more free choice for
the children, much like a good Montessori
school. . . . continued in Column 2
Keeping Up With Dr. Ruf . . .
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Greetings!
As of this week, the Educational Options
office hours will be changed for the summer.
Email and phone inquiries will now be
answered from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. on Monday
and Tuesday and then either Wednesday or
Thursday (one or the other depending on our
client schedule). As always, we will continue
to respond to your questions as soon as
possible.
In the hopes that we have now seen the last
of the snow, we wish you all a wonderful
Spring!
Sincerely, Kathy Hara, Editor
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School Is Not Real Life, continued from Column 1
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It makes so much more sense to
experience one more year at home or in
preschool, go to kindergarten for another
year of flexibility and playtime, and then skip
1st grade. This way, the child still goes
through school somewhat faster, but needs
to spend less time in the more structured
grade school environment. The problem with
this boy's school placement is that it was
more like a 1st grade than a kindergarten
classroom, and he really didn't need to be
there yet.
What did I recommend? I told them he
shouldn't even be in school yet. A good
daycare would fit his current needs better at
this point. At the most, he should go half
days or only two to three days a week at this
age regardless of his intellectual abilities. In
another article I will tell you how much bright
kids really learn-or don't learn-in school.
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Food for Thought
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Here is a website devoted to the exchange of
opinions and ideas that has attracted
discourse from all over the world. Edge Foundation, Inc., a nonprofit
private operating foundation, was established
in 1988 as an outgrowth of a group known as
The Reality Club. Its informal membership
includes some of the most interesting minds
in the world.
The mandate of Edge Foundation is to
promote inquiry into and discussion of
intellectual, philosophical, artistic, and literary
issues, as well as to work for the intellectual
and social achievement of society.
The site has archives that go back to 1996,
and also features an annual question going
back to 1998. The question in 1998
was "What Questions are You Asking
Yourself?" This year's question is "What
Have You Changed Your Mind About? Why?"
and the site posts 165 replies from Alan Alda
to Anton Zeilinger.
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In Minnesota: Museum Adventure Pass
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School will soon be out, and that means kids
will be looking for fun things to do. In
Hennepin County, a library card can be used
to find more than books!
The Museum Adventure
Pass, available for check-out at all
metro area public libraries, gives library
users free admission for up to 4 people at
participating museums and other
organizations. From the American Swedish
Institute to The Works: A Technology
Discovery Center, there are 19 fun locations
for entertaining and educational day trips.
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A Personal Note
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Over the weekend of March 28, Dr. Ruf and
her husband, Dr. Larry Kuusisto, drove to
Michigan to pick up their long anticipated
standard poodle puppy. Named Juuno
Kuusisto, this curly black ball of energy has
already doubled his weight. But he's learning
quickly and is already showing signs of being
a good family companion.
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"The quality of strength lined with tenderness
is an unbeatable combination, as are
intelligence and necessity when unblunted by
formal education."
- Maya Angelou
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