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    Monthly E-Tip                                                                                                            April 2010
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Escaping the Talker
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mailing list 2009Sometimes conversations are one-sided. Our February E-Tip addressed the conundrum of being trapped by a talker. We've all been there--on the receiving end of a diatribe from a person who doesn't realize they are talking too much. Your comments and ideas were the inspiration for this month's article: Escaping the Talker. We'll get back to the nuts and bolts of employee performance management next month. Until then, let me know what you think.
Escaping the Talker

                                                                                                        
Businessman                   

 
While I'd be the first person to espouse the virtues of active listening and have done so in many settings, sometimes you just need to get away! In most workplace situations, it is expected that you will give the other person ample regard and actively engage in a conversation when they have a topic to discuss. Of course, the topic is important to them or they wouldn't be going on and on.

When the other person has clearly used up their time and the conversation is no longer benefiting you or the other party, you will need to invoke some respectful techniques to disengage. Here are a few tips, submitted by our E-Tip readers:

· Stand up and walk the person to the door.

· Offer language that will close the conversation. Comments like, "Thanks for dropping by," or "I will get
   back with you as soon as I'm finished with blah, blah, blah..." Such language signals that you are ready
   to move on.

· Be direct by saying, "I have another meeting," or "I need to get to an appointment." Hopefully this is not
  a fib.

· When the other person says, "Do you have some time to talk?" set the expectation with a comment
   like, "Yes, but I only have five minutes until my next conference call."

Jodi Glickman Brown offered a more structured approach in a recent Harvard Business Review blog post. She suggests a three-step approach to getting away. First say, "Thank you." It's not insincere to thank them for their time, even if it's been painful. Second, identify a spontaneous transition. Saying something like, "Oh boy, I need to make a phone call," gives you an excuse for exiting the situation. Finally, Brown says you should suggest forward momentum. This might sound something like, "I will be sure to check out that article" or "I appreciate you letting me know about that new coffee shop." Even if you don't have a next step to promise, you can always reflect the other person's passion for the topic such as, "I never realized there were so many ways to categorize birds."

As managers, it is critical that we engage employees in thoughtful discourse and conversation. By listening, we show respect for their ideas and encourage them to be innovative and creative. However, when your boundaries have been crossed and you really need to move on, don't be afraid to say so.
Upcoming Events

 
SCPMA HR

SCPMA HR
April 22nd, 2010
Alhambra, CA

Tough HR Questions that have No Easy Answers

Declining budgets, layoffs, and massive restructuring has placed unprecedented demands on public sector HR professionals. Join Marnie and the Southern California Public Management Association for Human Resources for this engaging and challenging look at the tough issues human resource professionals are facing today. Practical tips and tools for surviving the downturn will be offered.

For more information   



Western Region IPMA-HR Conference
 
Western Region IPMA-HR Annual Conference

April 28 - 30, 2010
Sheraton San Diego Hotel & Marina
San Diego, CA

Batten Down the Hatches: Painless Performance Conversations

Performance conversations can be emotion-laded, filled with judgment, and are often avoided. Unfortunately, the consequences of avoidance can be severe for both the employer and the employee. Performance conversations can also be a productive and positive experience for both leaders and employees. This interactive session will offer new tools and concepts that can be used when coaching and/or training supervisors and managers to conduct performance conversations.

The session will be held on Wednesday, April 28th at 3:10 p.m. Join us!

For more information   
 

 
LEADERSHIP FOR WOMEN SEMINAR

6-10 September 2010
Monash University
Prato, Italy

Women across the globe are in the throes of deciding whether the value of having a voice and influencing the way leadership is exercised balances the sacrifices and trade-offs required. Join Marnie's colleague Rosamund Christie in fabulous Northern Italy for the Leadership for Women Seminar, a program designed for women who first and foremost want to be the agent of their own career choices. Leadership for Women is for women who seek to influence the way leadership is exercised in a wide range of sectors including professional services, banking and finance, not-for-profit, law, consulting and academia. Based on the work of Harvard University's Dr. Ron Heifetz, Rosamund will explore the principles of adaptive leadership and its application to women leaders today.

For more information   
Program brochure information   
 
The Management Education Group, Inc. is fueled by your insights and ideas. When you share your suggestions, questions, and dilemmas, it helps us know how to better serve you. Please send me an email or follow me on Twitter @Marnie_Green to join the conversation. As always, I'd love to hear from you!

Sincerely,

Marnie Green
Management Education Group, Inc.