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    Monthly E-Tip                                                                                                            February 2010
This Month
Doing All the Talking
Upcoming Events
Recommended Reading
Updated Performance Management System Vendor List
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mailing list 2009 Okay, I'll admit it. I get a little impatient sometimes. This month's e-tip is the product of a long flight where my buttons were pushed just a little bit. Ah, inspiration comes from the most unlikely places! It's a reminder that conversations can only be successful if there are two active participants. I hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you think.
Doing All the Talking

                                                                                                        
Listen                   
 
 
On a recent cross-country flight I was seated in front of a gentleman who was highly intelligent, skillfully articulate, and utterly clueless. How did I know all this about the man who sat behind me? For the entire four hour flight he talked, and talked, and talked, and talked. I learned about calcium deposits, chemical formulas, countless medical studies, and how to best run the high-tech company from which he was recently fired.

His partner in this conversation was an unsuspecting college student. This I learned when they introduced themselves during the safety information presentation. I felt sorry for this poor, naïve guy. Every time I peered around to put faces on the voices of this one-sided conversation, I noticed the college student's eyes glazed over and a look of disconnect on his face. It appeared he was struggling through the long flight as if he was in an extended statistics lecture.

Why is it that some people have a need to do all the talking? With absolutely no inquiry into his partner's interests or needs, my talkative flight mate seemed to use the uninterrupted time to express his thoughts, frustrations, desires, and hopes to the stranger next to him. It was as if he gained therapeutic benefits from the monologue. And, in fact, he probably did complete the long flight feeling very good about the exchange.

In return, he likely missed out on learning much about his seatmate. I can't help but wonder where the conversation might have gone if he would have asked a few things like:

· What is your experience?
· How would you have addressed an issue like this?
· What is your opinion on...?

Have you had a conversation lately where you did all the talking? Where you didn't make the most of the question-asking opportunities you had before you? Talking can feel good--cathartic even. It can help us sort out our thoughts and clarify our intentions. But listening can be just as beneficial. In the midst of a talker, at least on an airplane, an iPod turned up loudly works too!
Upcoming Events

NAHRA

Northern AZ Human Resources Association
April 8th, 2010
Woodlands Radisson Hotel
Flagstaff, AZ
11:30am - 1:30pm

Join Marnie in the "cool country" as she makes a repeat appearance at the Northern Arizona SHRM Chapter meeting. Our topic? "The Tough Conversations HR Professionals Would Rather Avoid."

For more information   

 
SCPMA HR

SCPMA HR
April 22nd, 2010
Alhambra, CA

It's Okay to Say "I Don't Know" - Tough HR Questions that have No Easy Answers

Declining budgets, layoffs, and massive restructuring has placed unprecedented demands on public sector HR professionals. Join Marnie and the Southern California Public Management Association for Human Resources for this engaging and challenging look at the tough issues human resource professionals are facing today. Practical tips and tools for surviving the downturn will be offered.

For more information   



Western Region IPMA-HR Conference
 
Western Region IPMA-HR Annual Conference

April 28 - 30, 2010
Sheraton San Diego Hotel & Marina
San Diego, CA

Batten Down the Hatches: Painless Performance Conversations

Performance conversations can be emotion-laded, filled with judgment, and are often avoided. Unfortunately, the consequences of avoidance can be severe for both the employer and the employee. Performance conversations can also be a productive and positive experience for both leaders and employees. This interactive session will offer new tools and concepts that can be used when coaching and/or training supervisors and managers to conduct performance conversations.

The session will be held on Wednesday, April 28th at 3:10 p.m. Join us!

For more information   
 
Book - Thrive CoverRecommended Reading
 
This month I'm recommending, Thrive! Stop Wishing Your Life Away, the newest book from Alan Weiss. Weiss is one of my favorite business authors because he is direct, pragmatic, and real. He says what you are thinking but are afraid to say out loud. While many of his books are written for consultants, this one is for anyone who could stand to accept personal accountability, build self worth, and thrive. Who couldn't benefit from that? Thrive! tells you how to:

· Apply the five factors that enable you to master your fate.
· Not be afraid to adopt "healthy selfishness."
· Examine your life with a different lens and see some hidden aspects.
· Recognize the baggage that weighs you down and how to throw it
  off the darned train.

· Understand and apply personal accountability to reach your goals
  with less stress, anxiety, and "beating yourself up."
· Stop wasting time wishing you'd done something and focus on doing it.
· Identify and destroy misconceptions about who you are and what you can do.
· Simply get rid of fear of failure, which undermines talent and drowns abilities.
· Avoid the deadly quicksand of "victimology" and move from trying to survive to easily thriving.

Learn more about Alan Weiss and his new book Thrive! at this website.
Updated Performance Management System Vendor List Now Available!

Is it time to evaluate your current performance management system? If your organization is considering the use of an electronic performance management system, our list would be a good way to start your research. If you would like a copy of our list of employee performance management vendors, click here or send us an email and we'll share our list of providers with you. This year's list includes 25 software providers, along with contact information and some technical aspects of their products. While we don't endorse or represent any of the products included on this list, we share this data as a service to our clients. Additional performance management software and vendors may exist in the marketplace.
 
2010 will continue to take me across the country with speaking engagements and workshops scheduled from coast to coast. You can follow my travels at Marnie on the Road or by following me on Twitter @Marnie_Green.

As always, I'd love to hear from you!

Sincerely,

Marnie Green
Management Education Group, Inc.