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Greetings!
If you've ever read this newsletter, you may have heard me mention a time or ten that I have a minor addiction to facebook. One of my favorite things to do on facebook is to stay connected with friends near and far and share the antics of our respective offspring. My friend Christie, a Certified Positive Discipline Parent Educator and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist is one such friend that shares fun anecdotes about her adventures in mommyhood, as well as wisdom she's picked up along the way in her new work at home mom role. So, I invited her to be a guest contributor for RAW News, and of course she accepted because with 3 kids she's got sooooo much extra time on her hands. So scroll below and meet my friend Christie Coffin, a good friend, loving mom, great therapist, and new author of Christie's Corner, RAW News' newest feature! Safe and happy holidays to you and yours!
Aisha |
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Giving Thanks
Aisha Pope, LCSW
Thanksgiving is, undoubtedly, my favorite holiday of the year. It combines some of my favorite things in the world: 1) Family 2) Appreciation 3) Food 4) Food (it bore repeating). Often we get so lost in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season that we forget to stop and pay attention to what the holidays really represent. I, for one, rarely think about giving thanks during the Thanksgiving season until the prayer before the meal. So this year, I'm making a conscious decision during the month of Thanksgiving to think every day about the things I'm grateful for, and when those things involve other people, I plan to share with them my gratitude. In thinking about ways to involve my son in this process and nurture in him an attitude of gratitude, here are a few things I'll try to be more conscious of, during this season, and all year long...
1) Model gratitude - when children are around adults who openly express gratitude and affection, they are more likely to do the same.
2) Share appreciations during family or classroom meetings
3) On days where there is no family meeting, ask during special time, dinner time, or during bedtime prayers what your children were grateful for that day.
4) Allow children to contribute in the home, classroom, and community in meaningful ways and experience others' gratitude for their contributions.
5) Write thank you notes with your children. Spread these out over time versus doing them all in one evening. This helps to keep them meaningful and specific versus a repetitive and thoughtless chore.
6) Help kids see the value in what they have by not spoiling or over-indulging. When children earn what they have they are more likely to appreciate it. |
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Meet Christie Coffin...
For me a typical day as a working mom went like this: Wake up at 6am, get my three kids dressed, fed, teeth brushed, bags packed, get myself ready, drive my son to school by 7:45 am, drop my daughter off at daycare, then take my other daughter to preschool (on the other side of town). Get to work about 9am and have my first moment to relax, then spend the next 8.5 hours at work. Get off work, pick up all three children from different places, manage the arguing and crying that inevitably happens in the car, and get home about 6:30pm. Make dinner, give baths, do homework and put everyone in bed. Then lay down and pass out! As a full time working mom you know how busy life can be, especially if both parents are working full time or if you are a single mom. What I remember most about being a full time working mom was getting home and being exhausted but needing to give my kids tons of emotional attention while exhausted, it was very draining.
Recently I went from working full time to being a stay at home mom, and it has definitely been a wonderful experience. Life is still very busy with three kids, one in 2nd grade and two at home ages 1 and 4, after school activities and cooking, cleaning and homework. For me a big difference is being able to choose what I do with my time, and not feeling like I'm rushed all day long. However, now I get to be the one constantly meeting their emotional needs 24/7. My son Dylan is 7 years old and has Achondroplasia, a type of Dwarfism. Being able to stay at home has been great to be able to be around in the community to be able to advocate for him and educate people about why he is so short. Recently he said he wanted to sign up for hip-hop dancing class, so we decided to have him try the class out one time. I was a little nervous but took him to the class and talked to the teacher ahead of time about him being "little" and that it would not affect his dancing in any way. The teacher taught the class for 45 minutes and I was able to talk to him after class about what he thought of Dylan. The teacher was so excited and said, "Yeah you need to sign him up for this class. That kid's got spirit!" I was so happy I was able to be there for that moment and be able to get him involved in activities like that. For me, I probably would not have been able to be there for that moment if I were still working full time.
I know that there are pros and cons to each experience and I really enjoy both experiences. I recognize that there were personal advantages to be a working mom, being able to pursue professional interests and having a career. I saw it as a double edged sword, being away from my kids and family I had a break from their emotional demands, but missed them terribly when I was at work. However, being able to be at home has been very rewarding, and I recognize that my kids need a LOT of my attention all day long.
I am excited to share this time with my family, I always have stories about things my kids do to embarrass me or funny things they say. Every day is an adventure, hearing about what girl has a crush on my son, or my baby learning to talk. I look forward every day to these little things and I am happy to be able to have more time with them! CC
Check RAW News every month for
fun ancecdotes and tips in
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Upcoming Events
Parenting With Positive Discipline
Toddlers to Teens
Five Wednesday Evenings
November 9, 2011 to December 15, 2009
(Skip November 23, 2011)
6:30pm - 9:00pm
Early Bird Special! $99 per person, or $165 per couple thru Nov 2, 2011
Regular Price: $119 per person, $185 per couple
Facilitator: Kimberly Taylor of Connected Family
www.ConnectedFamily.org
Click Here to Register for This Event
Coming In January 2012!
Co-Parenting Through Divorce
Interest List Forming
Email: aisha@contactRAW.com for more information or to reserve your space!
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| Do you have a life situation or a relationship challenge you could use some help with. At Roots & Wings Consulting we have therapists with expertise in areas such as parenting, couples communication, autism, grief and loss, play therapy, and much more. If you've been thinking about talking to a counselor, taking a parenting class, or joining a support group, we just may have something for you. Give us a call at 619.737.7721 or drop us an email at info@contactraw.com for more information. |
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Sincerely,
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Your Friends at
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