August 2011

  Volume 2 Issue 8

R A W News  
A Publication of Roots And Wings Consulting
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Aisha 619.737.7721

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Greetings!

 

 It's that time of year again.  The days are getting a little shorter, summer is slowly winding down (or screeching to a halt if your kids start school in mid August like mine!), you're back to school shopping, getting bed times back on track, fitting in the last few fun days (or secretly counting down wishing school would hurry and start).  Some things to think about as you're getting back into the swing of things for school:

 

1) Ease back into the school year schedule and routine - slowly start adding more structure, review some summer reading or workbooks, structure meal, quiet, work, and nap times again

2) Get a couple of play dates in with friends from school who may have been neglected over the summer - this may help your children with back to school butterflies

3) Review your stranger/danger talk

4) Take practice runs of any new routines - is your child walking home now? Switching classes?  Losing receess? Kids make these transitions better when they've been discussed and practiced

5) Get the kids involved in planning for back to school - everything from school shopping to reminding you about the routine.  Anything that helps kids feel more prepared helps with transtions. 

 

Enjoy these last few days of summer!!

 

Aisha 

 

Encouragement vs Praise

Esteem Builder vs Ego Builder

by: Talin Yesaie, MFT 

Many of the ideas and concepts taught in Positive Discipline are related through experiential exercises and as one parent participant watched a role play in which she listened to the "parent" using Encouraging and praising statements she expressed that the difference between the two was that one was an esteem builder in kids and the other an ego builder. Both sets of statement s seem are intended to encourage children to "do better" and "follow the rules," but one type of statement allows the child to rely on intrinsic motivations to "do better" and "follow the rules," the other focuses on external expressions of approval. Encouragement is defined as "the expression of support or the act of giving hope and love to another."   Praise is defined as "expressing approval or admiration." The primary goal of all children is to feel a sense of belonging and significance and encouraging their behavior sends the message of love and tells the child, "I believe in you, you can do it." Praise sends the message that a child is important and significant when "you do as I say." The differences are subtle but the impact can be profound. Here are some examples

 

Praise                                                                 Encouragement

 

Good Job, you are such a good boy/girl       Thanks for helping me

You're so smart, you got an A                        You worked really hard on that

Great Artwork                                                  Can you tell me about your art?

You did it just like I told you                           You figure that out for yourself

I wish everyone could do it just like you.       What do think about it?

 

 

When parents encourage children, they are sending messages of love and acceptance, noticing their child's efforts and having appreciation and faith in them.   Statement of encouragement can include, " I noticed, I appreciated, I have faith, belief or trust that you can....." Encouraging statements are specific, though provoking and allow children to think for themselves and learn to come to believe in themselves and the power they posses.  So help build your child's esteem, and not just their ego, by helping them to evaluate themselves, and not rely on the evaluations of others.

  

 

 

 

 

Upcoming Events 

 Are you a teacher wanting to learn tools for managing classroom struggles the Postive Discipline Way?  Just in time for the new school year, Positive Discipline in the Classroom is being offered locally in Solana Beach.  If you're interested, click on the link below for more info or to register to take this calss with Lois Ingber, LCSW, Positive Discipline Lead Trainer

 

Positive Discipline In the Classroom August 13-14, 2011

Do you have a life situation or a relationship challenge you could use some help with.  At Roots & Wings Consulting we have therapists with expertise in areas such as parenting, couples communication, autism, grief and loss, play therapy, and much more. If you've been thinking about talking to a counselor, taking a parenting class, or joining a support group, we just may have something for you. Give us a call at 619.737.7721 or drop us an email at [email protected] for more information.
 
Sincerely,

 

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