Teach Self Reliance by Avoiding Overindulgence
Each morning the parents were trying to wake their 15 year-old son to get off to school. They would keep reminding him which was leading to tension. The son was not allowed to take the responsibility that belonged to a 15 year-old.
Upon my recommendation that he set his own alarm, the mom talked with her son in the afternoon and asked him, "Do you like the tension we have in the morning when I keep trying to get you up?" He responded, "No". The mom continued, "I don't like being in the middle of getting you up in the morning. It will be better if you set your own alarm clock." He agreed. He now sets his own alarm clock and is successful in getting up on time.
Children feel good when parents set boundaries on their own "doing" and "taking care" behavior so their kids can mature and take care of themselves. Doing too much for children is a form of enabling and is actually disrespectful. Pleasing children is not healthy for their growth when it weakens them.
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