Heading 6.30.09

October 2011            bridges 2 understanding   

Greetings! 

All parents and children have needs. Were you able to state these needs clearly as a child? Were your needs valued as important? Were you listened to respectfully? If your answers are "yes" then you are probably more skilled in stating needs in a clear and non-confrontational way than those who respond "No."

 

If parented with a belief that you should do what you are told while your needs are disregarded then I encourage you to examine how this is impacting your parenting approach. Chances are that you will have difficulty building cooperation through everyone expressing needs and finding solutions together. Your first response to a problem, such as siblings fighting, will often be to try and fix the problem through controlling their behavior using power and authority. This is a reactive mode that is ineffective and takes away an opportunity for children to learn how to problem solve with your guidance.

 

Children have an amazing capacity to respond to others' needs when their own are respected and responded to. Read a parent's story below to see how a dad changed his approach from controlling and shaming to expressing his needs and winning cooperation from his daughter.

 

Happy Parenting

 

Cynthia  

 

Please share this newsletter with other parents, schools or businesses so I can help other families build bridges of understanding.   

  

 

Dad Wins Cooperation  

Through Expressing Needs

 

Here's how Bob became empowered to turn his often stormy relationship with his 9-year old daughter, Beth, into one of respect, cooperation and closeness.  

 

Beth's dawdling in the morning was affecting Bob getting to work on time. Here's how their morning dialogue often went:

Bob,"Beth, hurry up, get dressed, and brush your teeth. Your fooling around will make me late to work."


"Stop yelling at me, Daddy. I hate that," Beth sobbed as she slowly got dressed.

Bob, "If you just got ready when I told you to, we wouldn't be late.".  
Bob and Beth both ended up feeling miserable.  Here is how Bob changed and used proactive  mutual respect parenting  strategies to win cooperation so everyone's needs are respectfully met.

Bob spoke to Beth the night before,

"Beth, it's important that we leave on time in the morning so I'm not late to work. Can you get ready on time for me?"

Beth responds, "Yes dad. I can do that."

Bob reports that every morning now, Beth is ready early.

This may seem too simple yet change can happen this quickly with a belief that expressing needs and caring for each other is the road to building a happy home.

Learning New Parenting Strategies
Solves Family Challenges

to speak at your school, organization or company, or simply introduce me to the decision maker.  
 
Popular Topics

Discipline and Dads
My Kids are Driving Me Crazy
Raising Self-Reliant Children
Handling Emotional Moments
Building Your Child's Self-Esteem
Discipline that Builds Cooperation
Mothers and Daughters
Power Struggles
The Challenging Middle-School Years
Building Connections - Breaking Down Barriers

View my website for detailed descriptions or contact me to create your own topic.  
 
In This Issue
Parent's Story
Express Yourself!
Inspirational Words
Words of Wisdom
Parenting Classes

 Visit My Newletter Archive  

 

Cynthia is
Building World Peace in the Home through:

 Private Coaching Sessions in person, by phone, in the home or Skype to answer your specific questions.

Parenting Classes to learn skills and gain support from parents.

Speaking

at your school or  organization on a variety of topics. 

 

Inspirational  Words  

Back of card logo

A Child is a Person

 

"A child is a person, an individual with his or her distinct personality. Sometimes children can be even more keenly perceptive than adults. That is why we must be careful how we behave in front of them. For examples, couples should never argue in front of their children. ...when witnessing their parents fighting, they are shaken to the core of their being and experience fear and anxiety as if the ground had given way beneath them. ...Please give your children a home where they can enjoy tranquility and peace of mind."

My Dear Friends in America, pg 247- 248 

   

Daisaku Ikeda
President of the SGI World Wide Organization
World Renowned Author and Poet  

Words

of  Wisdom  

Me with pink jacket teaching

 I love speaking to parents and giving them hope that change can happen, courage to try a new approach and confidence that their children love them and do want to create a peaceful home.  

 

 Watch this 5 minute video of 7 steps of effective limit setting. 

Cynthia Klein Setting Limits with Respect and Authority
Cynthia Klein Setting Limits with Respect and Authority
 

Classes for Fall  2011

Enjoy my website for details

 

Free introductory classes

How to Build a Cooperative Family with Mutual Respect

 If you want your family to improve communication and cooperation skills, then this is the class to get you started. Studies have shown that parents lead the family by example. Discover how Mutual Respect Parenting will teach you positive discipline strategies and listening skills that will help you resolve family conflicts and develop self-reliant children.

 

Free introductory dates to choose from:

    

Date:            Thursday, December 1, 7:00 - 9:00

Location:     San Mateo office

Cost:           No fee / pre- registration required. Space is limited

 

 Register here for the December 1st class  

   

Winning Your Kids Over Without Punishments or Rewards

 Learn how to use effective discipline strategies that wins your children's cooperation. Discover how to perfect the art of setting and enforcing rules and expectations without the need for punishments or rewards.  

 

Date:          Thursday, November 3

Time:          6:00 - 7:30 pm

                                

 My Kids Are Making Me So Mad! (5th - 8th grade)

 We love our children so why do we get so upset with them? In this class you will learn how to express anger to your child in a respectful way that de-escalates the tension and improves communication skills. Discover how to defuse your intensity and keep connected with your child, so you can work through conflicts and create a harmonious family environment.

 

Date:          Thursday, December 8

Time:              6:00 - 7:30 pm

                                

Private Presentations at Organizations 

Contact Cynthia for inquires or to observe prior to hiring Cynthia to speak at your organization.  

 

Discipline: Getting the Message Across Effectively

 Often parents are frustrated because their kids don't respond to directions. From in-home coaching I've discovered that the problem is often with the parents! Learn how to set up clear expectations, convey them effectively and provide respectful follow through. You can increase family cooperation and joy!!

 

Date:           Tuesday, October 18

Time:               12:00 - 1:00 pm

Location:       Stanford University campus

 

Dads Taking Charge of the Kids Alone!!

Join other dads and explore ways to make time alone with the kids run smoother. We'll discuss the two roads of nurture and structure and learn how to balance them for maximum family enjoyment. Specific strategies will be presented to take home with you.

 

Date:         Tuesday, November 15

Time:        12:00 - 1:00 pm

Location:    Stanford University campus

 

Winning Your Kids Over Without Punishments or Rewards

Learn how to use effective discipline strategies that wins your children's cooperation. Discover how to perfect the art of setting and enforcing rules and expectations without the need for punishments or rewards.  

 

Dates:        Wednesdays, November , 9, 16, 30 

Time:           6:30 - 8:00 pm

Location:   Boys and Girls Clubs in East Palo Alto, Menlo Park and Redwood City.