PARENT SUCCESS STORY

Dad Learns How to Work

As a Team

My 9 year-old-daughter wanted to participate in her school walk-a-thon. We had friends whom I knew would be interested in sponsoring my daughter so I asked her to call them. Her immediate response was, "I won't do that." Without really thinking about her response or listening to her feelings, I shifted into my taking control mode and told her this was her "thing" - it was her responsibility to make the calls. She strongly and defiantly told me all the reasons she couldn't/wouldn't call and ran off into her room. Wow! My approach of trying to coerce her wasn't working so I let it rest and decided to talk to Cynthia about the experience.

As Cynthia and I talked, I became aware that it is hard to call and ask adults for support and money. Cynthia helped me see that the best approach was to first acknowledge this fact to myself and to my daughter. Taking the "it's your responsibility" stand ignored her feelings and lead to disconnection - that didn't feel good and obviously wasn't working.

Cynthia suggested we make the calling a team effort. She recommended that my daughter and I make a list together of the necessary steps to promote the walk-a-thon and then decide together what each of us would do.

First, I shared with my daughter a personal story that conveyed my understanding of the difficulty of the task. My daughter was right with me, open and listening - this felt good. I love it when we connect. Then I suggested we create a list of all the steps of getting sponsors and the follow through afterwards. My daughter got right on board with this idea. I could tell she felt empowered. Here is the list we compiled together:

1. Dial the phone
2. Say hello and introduce ourselves.
3. Explain the purpose of the call and the walk-a-thon.
4. Answer any questions.
5. Say thank you.
6. Write an email letter about the day.
7. Collect money and turn it into school.

The result of working cooperatively was amazing! She divided the list which gave her control over the process. We had a great time calling as she sat on my lap and became animated answering questions on the phone. The fearful girl turned confident and now enjoyed this difficult task. She later reached her goal at the walk-a-thon and willingly wrote all the thank you notes.

With Cynthia's guidance, my daughter and I turned a challenging experience into a fun time together - with my daughter happily participating and learning important life skills. I could tell she really felt good about herself and her accomplishment. 

A Dad from San Mateo

Create Change through Connection: A Workshop for Parents of Teens and Pre-Teens

We want our teenagers to develop good judgment. We want the very best for them. During the challenging teen years, it's hard to figure out how to best support our teens. This workshop will give you crucial concrete concepts and tools that address how to strengthen your connection with your teen. When you're connected, your teen will invite you to be their support person as they confront challenges and solve their own problems.

Date(s)                 Saturday, April 17

Time:                    9:30 am - 1 pm

Location:             All Saints Church, 555 Waverley Street, Room 28, Palo Alto                       

Cost:                     $50 (light snack provided)

Registration:   On line at  Hand in Hand

Helping Your Children Solve Their Own Problems

Evening, Starts Monday, April 19

Learn how to guide your children in the problem solving process of brainstorming solutions, consequential thinking and taking action.

My Kids are Making Me So Mad!  All ages

Evening, Starts Wednesday, April 21

Understand and reduce your anger triggers so you can discipline more effectively.

Who's in Charge?A Positive Approach to Raising Middle School-Aged Children 

Daytime, Starts Thursday, May 6

Take charge of your family by learning parenting tools that will lead to cooperation and closeness.  

Free Introductory Class

What is "Relationship Parenting" and How Can My Family Benefit?

Daytime, Tuesday, May 18

Explore a style of parenting that is based on building connection, influence and cooperation leading to world peace in the home.

Raising an Only Child:  Challenges and Advantages (ages 5 - 12)

Evening, Thursday, May 27

Explore common issues of raising an only child.

 Click here for class details on
my website.