Recently, colleague Tara Kimbrell Cole, sent out a request for books on "influencing," "persuasion," and "interpersonal savvy." I sent back a list of predictable favorites:
Influencer and Change Anything by Patterson, Grenny, Maxfield, McMillan and Switzler
Social Intelligence and Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman.
Another book that I haven't yet read but which sounds very promising is Instant Influence: How to Get Anyone to Do Anything-FAST. The book, written by Michael Pantalon, purports to be "the only motivational approach scientifically proven to succeed in less than 7 minutes." Can't wait to try it!
A couple of other colleagues had some intriguing suggestions.
Here from Steven Gianotti: "I have found A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix to be an amazingly insightful book. While it is not a 'persuasion' book, the incredibly sharp insights Edwin Friedman has on being effective with other human beings has been transformative for me and for many of my coaching clients.
A few quotations from his book:
'The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change. If you want your child, spouse, client or boss to shape up, stay connected while changing yourself rather than trying to fix them.'
Around one's self and how best to approach the complexities of human interaction, my favorite truth-telling quote is this:
'What is essential are stamina, resolve, remaining connected, the capacity for self-regulation of reactivity, and having horizons beyond what one can actually see.'
The underlined/bold portion of this quote for me is an essential (and often missing) component in effective workplace dynamics, as a leader, peer or subordinate - heck, as a human being. The book for me required conscious concentration and I found myself re-reading, underlining and highlighting many many passages which I use in much of my work. The reading leans more on the complex side and the book does require some serious thought. Mr. Friedman is not for everyone however, if one is patient and genuinely curious, this is a powerful read."
And this from Grady McGonagill:
"Although I'm sure there are more recent, and possibly better books around, I am fond of Influencing Without Authority by Bradford and Cohen. It puts an emphasis on exercising influence in a way that maintains authenticity, avoiding the manipulative approaches that are explicitly or implicitly reflected in many recommended approaches (e.g., the NLP approach). The original was published in 1990, but I see that there is a 2005 revised edition available (which I have not seen-but it probably reflects the wisdom in the authors' 1998 Power Up, a good book about leadership.)
I also like another oldie but goodie, Peter Block's Empowered Manager: Positive Political Skills at Work, 1987, which presents a model of 'politics.'"
Thank you, Steven and Grady for your great suggestions and Tara for reaching out. I'm pleased to be able to share these more widely.
