The above list of differences didn't hit my radar until I was married. I did not experience living with siblings, so marriage was a big shock!  I quickly learned that two people who really like each other can think, do, and feel very differently. I also discovered that differences aren't right or wrong -they are just different. It's okay if my spouse loads the dishwasher differently from me, and I can try to accept his choosing to throw away valuable things, rather than save them for a "rainy day!" It's all about understanding and making the adjustments!
 
That's the way it is with the little "bundle of joy" parents bring home from the hospital. Each day the parents unlock a little more of the mysteries within a child --what makes the child tick. The child's make-up is neither right or wrong -it just is!
 
Last month's article described how three (Adaptability, Intensity, and Persistence) of the nine temperament characteristics can affect a child's response to transitions or change.  This writing will describe three more: Activity Level, Mood, and Regularity. These characteristics describe how life may be lived out, day-to-day.
 
                                                      ACTIVITY LEVEL
As a beginning parent, I was dumbfounded at how fast and how quickly my son could move from place to place. Even when he was past the toddler exploration days, he liked to move. He was always busy and active like the Energizer bunny. His first grade teacher said he didn't sit at his desk -rather he stood and wrote his work. Compare that to a huddle of children at a center who sat and played in one spot for over one hour. They were very comfortable, just sitting around -very different!
 
Elizabeth Crary, STAR Parenting author, puts it this way: "How active is your child?  If you were on a desert island, would your child be on the go or laid back and idle?"  The answer to this question will affect many parent decisions -- going to a restaurant (which one?),  attending large formal family events, selecting entertainment venues, hanging out at certain family homes, riding in the car or plane for long periods of time, shopping, etc.
 
                                                                 MOOD
Mood sets the emotional tone. Does your child participate in the day's events with a positive attitude, maybe even some smiles? Or, do you have an Eyore who has a downcast view of the happenings and needs encouragement? Most children have good days and bad days.  Most parents have good days and bad days. The range of this characteristic's continuum reaches from consistently sunny and positive to lots of complaining, getting up on the wrong side of the bed, and needing lots of cheering up/cajoling. A child might be described as even-tempered, if somewhere in the middle. A person with a negative mood in the family can take a lot of energy and adjustment. 
                                                           
                                                         REGULARITY
Parents usually try to get a new baby "on a schedule;" that is, awake in the daytime, asleep at night, and eating at reasonable intervals. Some babies get it, just like clockwork. They seem to choose it naturally. Some babies, who have day and night turned around at first, eventually get it. Some babies never get it, and there is always a question about when awake time is, when sleep time is, and how often eating should take place. The pattern the child falls in to is his own rhythm--his own temperament-and usually stays with him as he gets older, with some modifications. 
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The question for parents is: Does your child have some predictability for sleeping, being hungry, awake time, and other bodily functions? Or, is there a random nature to these functions?
The challenge for parents is: Roll with the unpredictability or enjoy the child's clockwork functioning. A key to success is understanding one's own (the parent's) temperament as it compares/contrasts to the child's.   
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The take-away here is a reminder that these personality characteristics are inborn and appear naturally in a child; therefore, the task of the parents is to work with the child's personality traits, rather than fight them and try to stamp them out. Parents who do work with a child's unique style will discover their child's strengths and enjoy them.
 
It is possible for a family, whose members are very different in how they think, act, or feel, to appreciate differences and live in harmony.

 

A few weeks ago NQACC faced a big challenge in preparing for our "Required 2009 Annual Preschool and Child Care Center Immunization Status Report."  Two requirements had changed since our last report: first we were required to keep records for the PCV (Pneumococcal Conjugate Vaccine); and then the 4th Hib (Haemophilus Influenzae Type B) was again required after a shortage of the vaccine changed the law for a time until the vaccine was again in ample supply.  What this meant to our center is that we had a group of children who came into the center when we were not asking for the PCV record, and another group of children who had either not had the last Hib vaccine or had not added it to their record here.  Suddenly the number of children on the compliant list dropped to 34!  Thanks to so many parents who have provided the records, we only have about a dozen children with incomplete records.  We are in a much better place than we were last month.
 
Although we report only once a year, keeping immunizations updated is an effort made throughout the year.  It is always appreciated when parents remember to let us know when their child has been to the doctor and had another vaccination.  With your record on file, all that is needed is the date of the vaccination, for example: 4th Hib - 10/12/09.  Some of our toddlers are not old enough to have their 4th doses of the DTaP, the Hib or the PCV.  When they do, we would like to know.
 
As always, NQACC parents are awesome.