Approaching synagogue, as when we approach the marriage canopy, we remember the parallels between them by reciting, "How goodly are your tents, O Jacob, your dwelling places, O Israel (Numbers 24:5)." An enemy, Balaam, used these words to speak of what is possible when entering a synagogue with the same intensity as when we begin a relationship.

Many read Rashi as explaining that Balaam noticed that the tribes arranged their tents so that their entrances did not face one another, preventing intrusions on each others' privacy. Does it not seem strange that we honor that exemplary modesty by reciting Balaam's reaction specifically when we cannot share his perspective? A Chupah is open on all sides. All can see in and watch the first steps in forming an intimate connection between bride and groom. We pray in a group without the sense of privacy Balaam observed in the desert camp. Is Rashi telling us that it is impossible for city dwellers, living in huge apartment complexes with every window facing numerous others, to live with this sense of modesty?

How did Balaam know that the tents were placed to preserve the privacy of others? Was it not possible that each family wanted to stop others from looking in? If we accept that each tent was formed by the Clouds of Glory, then Balaam observed God's brilliant urban planning, not the extraordinary sensitivity of the people.

Balaam observed the camp and immediately understood that the way we look out our window will determine how successful will be our relationships and prayers: People who look at how others are living to evaluate their lifestyle have no sense of self. They allow those outside the window to determine how they should live. People who choose how to serve God by looking out the window to belong to the community, rather than looking within their own hearts, are limited. People who imitate others when praying are looking out their window rather than within their souls.

All can see into the Chupah. The bride and groom can look out and observe the guests. The windows are open. We recite Balaam's insight to remind the new couple to look to each other for that to which they aspire as husband and wife. It is not how the windows are placed, nor whether they are open or closed, but whether we look out the window or within our homes and hearts. Balaam understood that as long as Israel faced inward, they would be safe. Each home, each heart, would be looking within, and have a "Face to Face" relationship with God, just as did Moses.

Balaam looked and immediately suggested introducing worship of "Ba'al Pe'or," worshipping God by looking away; Pe'or was worshipped by turning one's back to the idol and excreting. Balaam's strategy was to distract people from facing God by having them face away; looking out the window at others. "What will others think? Will I fit in?"

Moses was buried, "Facing Ba'al Pe'or (Deuteronomy 34:6)," facing his opposite. On one side stands those so busy looking out the window that they turn their backs to God. On the other side stands those who look within, seeking a direct relationship with God, Face to Face, each time they pray, as a bride and groom looking only at each other, building a secure home.

Shabbat Shalom.
Rabbi Simcha L. Weinberg
President 
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