Days after the sin of the Golden Calf, while pleading with God that He forgive the Children of Israel, Moshe requests a huge gift: "Show me, please, Your glory." Moshe wants to better understand how God relates to humanity. "You will not be able to see My face, for no human can see My face and live." Then, in a scene we reenact when we cover our eyes while reciting Shema, God says, "I shall shield you with My hand until I have passed." "You will see My back, but My face may not be seen."

God reveals a small part of how He relates to us with, "I shall show favor when I choose to show favor, and I shall show mercy when I choose to show mercy." Certainly not a definitive explanation!  Without an, "I want to know when and how You choose!" Moshe was satisfied with the message that we can only relate to God with a sense of being able to see only His "back," and an ill-defined, "when I choose." In other words, living with the awareness that when dealing with God we must live with "I don't know."

The message of "I don't know" is not only for Moshe, the leader, it's for all of us, and is reenacted in the Mitzvah of the mysterious, bipolar, and confusing Parah Adumah (Red Heifer); it purifies the impure, but causes impurity to those who use its ashes to purify others. The Parah is essential for the sanctified Temple. All who want to visit must use it; all who enter the Temple must begin their visit with "I don't know."

The Moshe "I don't know" scene is for the leaders. The Parah message is for the people.

I often hear of Rabbis who offer rulings that reflect power assumed with certainty; "You must insist that your wife cooperates," without first speaking with the woman and hearing her perspective. "I release you from the obligation to honor your parents," without learning the parents' view. "This is the decision of our court because it is the law," without any explanation, even when it destroys someone's trust in Halachah. Leaders and teachers should never speak with more authority than Moshe who was injected with a sense of "I don't know," "I'm not certain." Leaders who forget their limitations nurture followers who ignore the message of the Parah Adumah.

Husbands who, in response to a wife's request, run to the rabbi for instruction whether to do as his wife asks. Parents who ignore a child's pain and act only on the specific directions of their rabbi. People who are only happy with absolutes, black and white, being told what to do, with no sense of wonder fueled by "I don't know." My most frustrating challenge as a pulpit rabbi was dealing with people who already knew exactly what they believed and were unwilling to question those beliefs. People who knew I was wrong because what I said contradicted what they believed.

The "I don't know" of the Parah is not to remind us that we will never know God as God is; that message was already conveyed to Moshe. The "I don't know" of the Parah is for us; the purpose of serving God is to understand how much more we can discover about ourselves as long as we constantly remember and are motivated by what we do not yet know and understand.

Despite the Torah's insistence that the Parah Adumah is an "I don't know," we've been searching for explanations since King Solomon, through the Talmudic Sages, and all the commentators until this day, because this "I don't know" comes with the tempting hint that we will always discover more about ourselves, know more about life, and gain insight into our relationship with God.

My Response to an "I Don't Know": A few months ago, someone emailed, "I don't always know how to use the ideas posted on The Foundation Stone." I began a series, "So What!" in response, focusing on how to use these insights in our prayer and service of God. You can find comments on the Portion of the Week in Spiritual Tools, Prayer, and Shabbat Themes and Prayers, with practical suggestions as how to incorporate these ideas into your spiritual life. I hope you enjoy!

Shabbat Shalom

Rabbi Simcha L. Weinberg
President 
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