No other moment in human history can match its intense intimacy between human beings and God. They stood so close to Sinai that they could actually hear God's voice speaking the first two of the Ten Statements (Yes, Statements, not commandments; there were fourteen of those). They experienced Revelation, and it was overwhelming. "The entire people saw the thunder and the flames, the sound of the Shofar and the smoking mountain; the people saw and trembled and stood from afar." (Exodus 20:15) God was about to begin the third Statement, and they requested a time-out to speak with Moses.  "You speak to us and we shall hear; let God not speak to us lest we die." "Do not be afraid," assured Moses, "the Lord is testing you in order that awe of Him be constantly before you." He then takes over from God as teacher. 

We are told that they failed the test. They chose an intermediary over God. They wanted to maintain a safe distance from the Source. They were so close, and yet, they, "stood from afar." It was, we are taught, the seed of the sin of the Golden Calf. 

I'm not so sure that they failed the test.  They were not the ones who introduced distance into the relationship. It was God. He repeatedly warned them to keep their distance from the mountain. The test was not whether they chose distance over a direct relationship; the test was whether they knew how to take full advantage of the distance. It was the distance that allowed them to feel comfortable enough with God to request a time-out. They were in middle of the desert, totally dependent on God for food, water and protection. God was manifest. He was speaking directly to them and they still felt comfortable saying to God, "We need to speak with Moses for a moment. Do You mind waiting? It's too intense!" They stood at a distance from the mountain, so far, and yet, oh so close.

They didn't fail the test. They passed with flying colors. They were declaring that they felt comfortable with God. They felt safe enough to ask Him to give them some space. Awe of God cannot last without that sense of safety. It is awe, not fear. It begins and ends in the security of a loving relationship. Loving awe allows us to stand so far and still maintain intimacy.

We are commanded to remember Revelation, not only all they perceived about God, but also the sense of safety.  Living with Revelation does not demand only intense awareness of God, it also requires that we rejoice in the safe intimacy of the experience.  When we remember that we can interrupt Revelation to call for a time-out we can stand close to that distant moment at Sinai.

I had a vigorous debate last Shabbat with the "Meringue Thief" about a certain Halacha book. The book insists that we measure what we eat to be certain that we have eaten the olive-size piece of food that triggers the obligation to recite a blessing after eating. It comes with all sorts of measures and calculations. The book is not for me. I studied the requirements and use my judgment to "measure" how much I've eaten. Do I ever err? Certainly, but I claim the same rights as those who called for a time-out during Revelation.

I love Halacha. It's the key to living with awe of God, but it also provides safety and security. The book over which we argued does not allow for space, safety or any comfort other than being told exactly what to do at every moment. The book would never allow us to request a time-out from God. I suspect that the author would have attempted to remain standing at Sinai, trembling, overwhelmed and lost. He would never dare call for a time-out. He has too much fear of God. I prefer the loving awe.

The distance from that moment at Sinai continues to grow. We stand far from her magical boundaries. We draw ourselves closer by remembering that the most intense intimacy of Sinai was not hearing God's voice, but feeling sufficiently safe to speak up for ourselves. We stand so far, but can still access the closeness.

I wish you a Shabbat of loving awe, a day of safety and security.

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Simcha L. Weinberg
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