Final WHOLE Self-Care Newsletter #6

June/July 2008

Vol 1, Issue 6

Greetings!

There's a war going on. I'm not talking about the battles raging around the world. I'm talking about the battle right here in our community. I'm talking about the war against Black women's healthy bodies, minds, and spirits.

A recent news report about one in four teens having a sexually transmitted disease (STD) was sobering. Not to mention the alarming reality that nearly eight percent of Black females engage in sexual activity before age 13. And it is estimated that half of teens 15-19 years old have had sex.

Oftentimes alcohol or drugs are involved in this first sexual encounter, and rarely is a condom used. These risk behaviors can have staggering consequences. STDs such as Chlamydia can be present without symptoms and, left undiagnosed, lead to infertility. Human papalomavirus (HPV) can result in cervical cancer and, along with HIV/AIDs, lead to death.

We as families and a community are frequently silent about reproductive health issues. We're often too embarrassed to speak, too judgmental to embrace, too fearful of being stigmatized, to talk about sexual health. Our silence compounds the problems our young sistahs face. Our own behaviors too often model poor esteem and a tendency to acquiesce rather than fight. NO MORE!

Fighting against the elements that contribute to these unsatisfactory outcomes is what our company WeSpeakLoudly is all about. Guided by the principle, "WeSpeakLoudly on issues others only whisper about," we're going into the trenches, talking, sharing, and empowering our sistah nation with the weapons we need to battle for better health.

Join us. Let's find a way to bring the self-care message and tools into our families and community. If we can reach out without hesitation, talk without fear, and help without judgment, I believe this war can be won. Ashe!

Jacci

Is there a teen sistah in your life--daughter, niece, granddaughter? I'm anxious to start a dialogue on how to create supportive health education resources for these young sistahs. E-mail me at jacci@wespeakloudly.com with your ideas.

In This Issue

Teens in the Trenches: The Battle for Better Choices

WHOLE Self-Care Principle #6: Reclaim

It's Grillin' Time!

WeSpeakLoudly: Your Self-Care Source!

WeSpeakLoudly has created self-care tools especially for African American women including:

A cervical health page with an interactive tutorial on HPV and the HPV Test
A breast health page with links to screening tips and an insightful article, "Breast Cancer and African American Women--A Different Beast!"
A resource page with articles for download on health, nutrition, exercise, and self-care.

We're just one click away--come check us out!

J. Thompson-Dodd

Teens in the Trenches: The Battle for Better Choices

I've struggled intensely for weeks trying to write this article. As a women's health educator I've got all the statistics and resources in hand. As the mother of a teenage daughter, I am witness to the real life impacts that she and other teen sistahs face first hand. I thought that was enough. But it wasn't.

After much prayer and reflection, I finally realized why I was struggling. I was still seeing Three young women

the battle sistah teens face through my own eyes--not theirs. The world they live in is much different from when I was a teenager. This is a revelation I share with all of you because our failure to recognize this different perspective puts our young sistahs at greater risk than anything they will encounter outside our care.

What are the differences? Speed and uncertainty. Their world isn't just fast moving; it's instant! For them, it's instant communication like text messaging. Instant community and culture like MySpace, BlackPlanet and Facebook. Instant consequences like violent response to conflict are their norm. Moreover, they face a world that is so tenuous, that instant gratification of risky sexual behaviors is viewed as inconsequential. It feels good now, so why not? Tomorrow is not certain anyway.

The trenches they're fighting in are invisible. They exist in the ether, accessed by nimble thumbs on a cell phone key pad. They're viral--spreading the hazardous marching orders for the day instantaneously to the legions of teen "troops" across our world.

These trenches are viral in another way, too. When these young girls do "hook up'" far too many of them wind up physically abused, mentally destroyed, and spiritually emptied. One instant can change their lives--even take their precious lives.

Yet as the adults in these young girls' lives, we still have a potent weapon that can vanquish all the battles they face--direct eyeball-to-eyeball, heart-to-heart dialogue. It's powerful stuff. And most of us aren't using it.

Talking about sexual health is something that most of us don't do very well. Not with our own partners, doctors, sistah friends, or children. So initiating "the BIG talk" with our teens is awkward (if we do it at all) and ineffective. Our silence in these matters leaves an opening for nefarious forces from the invisible trenches to take root. We are silent at our peril.

Teen Talk

I went right to the source, reaching out to my daughter, some of her friends, and sistah teens from our community to tell us parents what we don't know about the struggles they face. I talked with them in groups, one-on-one, and through a survey. They range in age from 15-19, the group at highest risk for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), unwanted pregnancy, and alcohol and drug-related injuries.

I was tremendously gratified by their candor and they were pleasantly surprised that an adult was sincerely willing to listen to them. Together, we came up with some guidance for parents about how to help them win the war. Rather than interpret what they said, here are some insights in their own words. Some names have been changed to protect their privacy.

Question: Is there a "disconnect" between teenagers and parents when it comes to talking about sexual issues? If so, what is it, and how can it be eliminated?

"Yes there is. Some parents scold their children when talking about this subject, others don't believe their children know anything about the topic. Others don't engage their son or daughter in the conversation. It can be eliminated by teaching teens and parents how to talk about this subject." Shawn, 18
"Sometimes there is, I really don't talk to my mom or dad about it, but how they talk and treat me and hold me on a pedestal helps me make the decisions that I don't need to have sex with a boy to get that type of love or attention....parents should put their kids on pedestals and make them feel like kings and queens so their kids don't go looking for that love elsewhere." Karin, 15
"YES! Big time. I think it is a touchy subject because most parents would tell their kid not [to have sex.] ...Talking at us, not with us is not helpful." Renee, 16
"Yes. Parents usually get really mad when their children tell them that they aren't virgins anymore. That makes kids not want to tell them. This can be eliminated by parents not getting mad at their children." Angel, 16
Yes, and that won't be eliminated due to the generation gap. But I think parents could at least try to empathize a little bit more and remember that a teenager needs that time to grow up and branch out a little bit. So letting go and trusting in what they have already taught their children would help. In talking about sex, they could be a little more confident and comfortable. As a teenager, in my day-to-day life, sex is talked about constantly so teenagers are comfortable with talking about sex but adults are not. This discomfort makes talking about sex awkward. Starting to talk about sex at a younger age helps a lot too. No this will not encourage your child to have sex! If anything it would discourage them from becoming sexually active. By starting the talks at a very young age, a child will be able to come to parents for advise, answers, contraceptives, and anything else a child or teenager would need." Nailah, 16

Question: What do you like or dislike about how your parents approach the topic of reproductive health in talking with you?

"Sometimes I don't like how my dad comes at me about sex topics. He comes to me like he knows all about how sex is looked at in my generation. HE DOESN'T!" CC, 17
"I dislike the fact that when they talk to me about sexual stuff, it seems like they are talking down to me like I don't already know stuff about the topic." Bree, 15
"I don't like how we don't talk about it. It's awkward sometimes...wish they would try to reach out to me." May, 18

Question: What advice do you have for parents to improve communication about reproductive health issues?

"...Here's what I mean. If you are at a parade and your child slips out of your hands, are you going to go after her, or just let her slip away in the crowd? Parents are letting their children slip off just because they are too scared or embarrassed to enter into these difficult topics...Parents can be the one that their children listen to. They've got to get on their kids' level. Get out of your comfort zone and talk about it. Are you going to be too scared to look for your child in the crowd? Nailah, 16

This is merely a sampling from the hours of conversations I had with these sistah teens. To see more of what they had to say, visit our blog WHOLE Express--it's enlightening!

Be an Askable Parent

Teen sistah foreground Bottom line: honest communication with trusted adults is a powerful weapon to add to the arsenal our sistah teens need in their daily battle. Understandably it is a hard thing to do--but it is doable. The American Social Health Association has created an excellent website for both teens and parents called "iwannaknow.org." There you'll find excellent resources like "Be an Askable Parent," which includes the following tips:

Discover and explain why talking about sexuality may be difficult.
Consider what might happen if you do not talk with your child.
Focus on your goals.
Plan how to respond to questions.
Respond immediately to your child's need to know.
Be sensitive to your expressions and gestures.
Take the initiative, if necessary.
Get and give support.

To win any war, you need to have accurate "intelligence" from the battlefield. You must have reliable resources for you and your troops. And you must have the will to win, despite how formidable your enemy may be. This war to preserve the healthy minds, bodies, and spirits of sistah teens is winnable. But it is all up to you.

WHOLE Self-Care Principle #6: Reclaim

To Reclaim is to feel empowered, making the choice for a better life. It is achieving balance--in your relationships, in your body, in all aspects of your life. It is redirecting your energy toward your growth and comfort. It expands your view of self; entitled to receive care. It is daring to be well, healed and WHOLE--better than you ever were. Armed with self-knowledge, you Reclaim control of your life.

Reclaiming is not just a theory. It is a lifestyle that is achievable. You must shift your priorities, adjust your focus, and delete old thinking. This is a NEW you--enlightened, empowered, and energized. Aren't you worth it?

Reclaiming can be gradual or swift, sweeping or incremental. It is up to you. And that is the point. You know what is best for you. Honor that knowledge. You've earned the right to be WHOLE!

Reclaiming is a process for self-discovery. Your willingness to explore all aspects of your life will enable you to chart a map for your life journey and drive yourself in whatever direction you choose with confidence. To Reclaim is to follow your heart.

Invariably in this mapping process, you will find people, places, and things that were once all consuming that just aren't important destinations anymore. This is to be expected .You are growing and changing, aging and clarifying with each mile of your journey. What you need to maintain optimal function and a smooth ride must change as well. To Reclaim is to do whatever is necessary to keep moving forward over the bumps in life's road, and enjoy the ride.

Article It's Grillin' Time!

It's summer! Time for backyard BBQs, picnics, and plenty of grilling. While many folks think of ribs, chicken, burgers, and hot dogs as their grilled items of choice, we're here to declare: veggies reign supreme on the grill!

But if you've ever tried your hand at putting veggies on the grill, you may have been frustrated by the delicate flesh sticking or falling through. Not to worry! There are special non-stick baskets, skillets, Grill Pans

and woks made especially to place directly on the grill for cooking vegetables. For a modest investment, you can easily achieve grilled perfection for any veggies!

This time of year, zucchini and bell peppers of all colors are at their peak. Combine them with savory onions and grill-friendly veggies like mushrooms, carrots, and eggplant and you've got a veritable veggie feast!

Healthy Eating Tip #4: Tip: Prep once and eat twice!

Since you're chopping veggies for one meal, chop a double batch and incorporate them into another meal in the coming week! Store grilled vegetables in an air-tight container or zip-lock bag and they'll keep well in the refrigerator for up to seven days--if you can resist for that long!

Ingredients:

1 pound Mushrooms, we recommend Crimini or Portobello

1 Red Bell Pepper, seeded and cored

1 Yellow Pepper, seeded and cored

1 Red Onion

3/4 cup olive oil

2 cloves garlic, finely minced

1/4 cup fresh basil, finely sliced in ribbons (optional)

Salt and pepper to taste

Preparation:

1. Trim and wash all vegetables. Cut into 2" nuggets as pictured above, and place into a large glass bowl.

2. Place olive oil, garlic, salt, and pepper into jar with tight-fitting lid. Cover and shake vigorously to combine.

3. Just before you are ready to grill, drizzle 1/2 cup olive oil mixture over veggies and toss to coat.

4. Lightly brush grill pan of choice with a dab of olive oil and add veggies. Grill over medium heat, stirring frequently. Cook until tender, approximately 5-8 minutes.

5. Remove vegetables from grill pan, and place in a large bowl and drizzle with remaining olive oil. Add ribbons of basil (if desired) and toss to coat. Enjoy!

Quinoa and Grilled Vegetable Salad

For your second grilled veggie treat, may we suggest Quinoa? This nutty South American whole grain is packed with nutrients, and cancer fighting goodness. Quinoa is now widely available in grocery stores.

Not feeling advertous? That's okay. You may substitute cooked brown rice or couscous for the whole grain in this salad.

Ingredients:

2 cups Quinoa, cooked as directed

2 cups grilled vegetables

1/2 cup olive oil

1 clove garlic, finely minced

1 green onion, finely chopped

1/4 cup parsley, chopped

1/4 cup sunflower seeds

1 lime

Dash of cumin

Salt and pepper to taste

Preparation:

1. Place Quinoa and veggies in a large glass bowl.

2. Finely grate rind from lime, making sure to capture only the green skin; the white pith is very bitter. Cut lime in half and squeeze the juice into a jar with tight-fitting lid. Remove any seeds that appear.

3. Add olive oil, garlic, cumin, salt, pepper and lime rind to lime juice in jar. Cover tightly, and shake vigorously to make a salad dressing.

4. Sprinkle sunflower seeds and parsley over Quinoa and vegetable in bowl. Drizzle with salad dressing and toss. You're done!

WHOLE is a project of WeSpeakLoudly. Our goal is to inspire optimal health practices in African American women and girls. We are here to serve you, so tell us what you want. We'll do our best to bring you all the information you need to be WHOLE!

Every woman deserves to be WHOLE. Please share this sistah self-care newsletter with your family and friends! Together, we can help each other to be WHOLE!

Yours in good health,

Jacci Thompson-Dodd
WeSpeakLoudly

WHOLE is brought to you in part by the generous support of JuicePlus+