Greetings!

Valentine's Day is fast approaching and I am once again hitting the road with love in my heart and a variety of passionate presentations for the state of Oregon! If you live in or near Ashland, Eugene, Corvallis, Salem, or Portland you are invited to schedule your personal housecall (Don't know what a housecall is?  Scroll down to the article entitled What the Heck is a Housecall?) by calling 888.903.0050, email or text 415.407.2932.  

Some people love this holiday and others hate it. How do you feel about Valentine's Day? For me personally, it is a time of year when my services and my workshops are in demand, so I have positive associations with it. My one regret is that I am always so busy working I don't have time to celebrate Valentine's Day with a romantic partner of my own.

Of course you can guess that I think we would do well to celebrate our sensuality, our sexuality and our romantic connections all year long. But it is also fun to focus on love during this popular holiday IF you avoid certain pitfalls.

For instance, if you don't have a romantic partner, you might feel depressed this time of year. But there is no need to conjure negative emotions. Your first love should be yourself and you have my professional permission to celebrate your love for yourself in the most romantic way possible! What that means will vary from individual to individual of course.

What does that look like for you? A candlelit bubble bath for one? A gourmet dinner with a single rose in a vase? A quiet walk in the woods? Meditating under a star-filled sky? Treating yourself to a professional massage?  What would help you feel more loved, more adored, more alive?

If you do have one or more romantic partners, you might be tempted into another pitfall: buying things for your lover(s).  

Advertising is very aggressive this time of year but you will probably have more fun if you shift the focus from gifts and cards onto creating authentic connection. 

Instead of buying stuff, try doing something for your loved one(s) which is deeply personal.  What about giving him/her a full body massage? Or taking an entire day off to engage in intimate conversation culminating in extended lovemaking? In our fast-paced world, time truly is the greatest gift we have to give.

However you choose to celebrate love and sex, I hope you will explore ways to extend that celebration into a year-long event. And if you need help infusing your life with more eroticism, creativity and joy (they really DO travel together you know!) I am here to help.

As you probably know by now, I offer help with most things pertaining to sexuality and anger management. But you may not realize how integral those two topics are to the fabric of your life. You can read more about that in the section below entitled What the Heck is a Housecall?

For a unique approach to love, please be sure to check out A Child's First Love.

Dear Veronica,

Wonderful newsletter! Food for thought.

Here's a view of anger that I think should enter the debate:

The root of anger (and other delusions, including impatience, hate, etc.) is twofold:

a)    We see ourselves as inherently separate from anything (and anybody) else; we know from various sources that nothing exists on its own but only part as a whole (called "emptiness") - and more importantly, we wrongly conclude that things exist outside our minds

b)    Because we think we exist separate from anything else, we logically consider ourselves the most important thing in the universe (what else would it be?). That is called "self-grasping." Anything that tends to challenge that view is met with anger, impatience, etc. We are upset when  you are cut off in traffic, when the person in front of you in the grocery check-out line is extremely slow, when someone makes you feel less than "the most important." It's all in our minds and has nothing to do with another person (or thing), who of course has the exact same view of him/herself - so now we have two persons with a conflicting view of who is the most important. Likewise, when your car breaks down on the freeway and you get upset, etc., YOU have a problem, not the car! And being angry doesn't change the situation.

It is far from as simple as it sounds. But the tool to overcome it is meditation, a deep understanding of the nature of all things (emptiness) and your place among them.

Food for thought.

Torben

Veronica Monet, ACS, CAM
TAP Communications

228 Commercial Street, #408

Nevada City, CA 95959

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