In the most recent episode of The Shame Free Zone, I explore Body Shame with Pamela Chubbuck and Anna Yang from the Red Web Foundation. I also give some tips on how YOU can start feeling better about YOUR body today!

Previous episodes include New York Times Bestselling author Christopher Ryan who reveals our less than monogamous roots in his book, Sex at Dawn. Research scientist Vanessa Woods who explores the relationship between sex and violence in her new book Bonobo Handshake. And rape survivor Susie Chin who retells her story of survival and recovery with her moving song, Charlene.

 

You don't want to miss these podcasts and best of all they are free! Download your personal copies on iTunes or Sex Talk Radio Network.

Last month I introduced the concept of Anger Anorexia. Some readers were quite intrigued but also disappointed that I wrote so little about the topic. This month I delve deeper into Anger Anorexia and while I am at it, I am requesting your input.

 

I have been asking random strangers what comes to mind when they hear the words Anger Anorexia and without fail they envision a very thin person who also happens to be very angry. Needless to say I am a bit frustrated because I am NOT speaking about diets or weight or even body image. I chose the phrase because I want to communicate how failing to connect with our anger in a healthy way is akin to starving ourselves to death emotionally. But maybe there is a better way to capture this concept? What do you think?  Have any suggestions on how I might better communicate this?

While you are mulling that question over in your mind, I will give you more food for thought. Anger is a healthy emotion designed to assist you in the very important task of survival. It seems survival gets little to no respect nowadays. Anyone who expresses concern for their own safety is immediately labeled "paranoid." That form of social pressure works well to prevent you from "rocking the boat" but it does nothing for your mental and emotional well-being.

If you are one of those people who smiles when you feel like screaming, you may also be prone to depression which in many instances is anger turned in. Learning how to manage anger instead of controlling it is key. Most of us learned to control our anger at an early age because there were consequences for saying what we really felt.  We learned to cover up and hold it in and as we mastered that skill our ability to please others, get along and thereby get what we wanted from our interactions with others increased.  This created a positive reinforcement for controlling ourselves.

But as the years pile on top of each other, all that control can lead to health problems not to mention psychological and emotional stress. This is where anger management can play a role. By learning the difference between control and management we can improve our interpersonal relationships while increasing our happiness and health!

Anger management provides you with the tools to express your anger without acting it out and it can assist you to live more authentically and honestly without creating the fall-out that we usually associate with anger. It IS possible to feel angry, to express your anger and to determine which needs are not being met in the process without also alienating others or creating havoc in your personal life.

While most of us have seen only two ways of being - acting out or holding it in - there IS a third way. That path is the path of anger management and it can literally change your life.

Next month: simple tips on how to express your anger constructively.