Most people have never ever heard of a bonobo so if you have - you are in the minority.  For years I have been speaking and writing about this creature and the utter lack of awareness of its existence has astounded me. Deep down I have known the reason most people don't know the bonobo exists let alone the revolutionary details of bonobo culture is due to the fact that they stand in direct defiance of everything Western human culture holds dear: male dominance and the worship of violence.

 

While scientists study rats in labs and interpret their findings as having significance for humans, they adamantly refuse to acknowledge the possibilities of learning anything from bonobos.

 

But you can think for yourself and you might just find the bonobo to be the key to many of the problems we humans currently face. As part of your own discovery process, you will want to read my article detailing the bonobo prescription for peace.

 

Beth Crittenden who was with One Taste at the time, interviewed me several years ago and one of my talking points was the bonobo - as usual.  While I encourage you to give the podcast a listen, I have included select excerpts from the transcript here:

 

 

 

Beth:  What would you like the listener to know about the Bonobos?

Veronica:  "First of all, when I'm in a room I always ask people "How many people have even of heard of the Bonobos?"  Usually about half of the room will hold their hands up . . .  So here's what they are:They are a primate, a large ape very similar to chimpanzee in appearance only.  If you saw a chimpanzee and a Bonobo staying next to each other, you would probably think they were the same creatures.  As a matter of fact, back in the '50s that's exactly what the scientists thought.  But they noticed that one of these chimps . . . [was] acting differently.  They thought it was just personality discrepancies between these two individuals.  Eventually they figured out that they were actually two different species of animals.

 

"The bonobo actually resembles us physiologically a little more than the chimpanzee.  The legs and the arms are a little longer.  They stand more upright more of the time.  The vulvas in the females have rotated to the front just as they have in female humans.  Bonobos have missionary style of sex.  That's not the only style of sex they have but they actually do have missionary position sex. What it does is it creates eye contact.  So instead of having sex in what we usually call doggy style, the rear entry sex were you don't actually connect with your partner visually and your heart chakras don't line up - with missionary position sex, you are aligning your heart chakras and your eyes.  This creates a different dynamics with the sex.

"Bonobos look at their partner's eyes for feedback as to whether or not their partner is actually enjoying the sex act.  If they don't get the kind of eye contact that they're looking for, they will stop having sex . . . Bonobos don't have sex just to procreate.  As a matter of fact, they have sex quite a few times during the day and it's all about pleasure . . . The females are sexually bonded to each other so they form political alliances with each other that are drawn along sexual lines . . .  So because of the fact that they are sexually bonded to each other, they form these political alliances and even though the males are bigger and stronger than them, they wield a great deal of power . . . Yes, there's competition.  Yes, there are disagreements.  Yes, there is fighting.  Occasionally the fighting gets out of hand and somebody might bite the other one and inflict a severe wound.  But it never goes to the point of murder. 

 

"If you study the chimpanzees, they are a patriarchal society where the males are in charge and violence just runs rampant.  You will get two chimpanzees which are plotting the murder of the guy who's in charge.  Maybe two or three and they will literally form political alliances and decide beforehand which one of the three is going to be king.  The agreement is that "if you help me kill the old guy and allow me to become the powerful one, the one that's in charge, I'll let you have all the sex you want."
What does that tell you?  If the guys are deciding who's going to have sex with the females, then we're having non-consensual sex which means that rape is institutionalized in chimpanzee culture.  The murder can be brutal.  They can go from being best friends with somebody to forming these political alliances where they literally rip each other to shreds and drink each other's blood.  Of course, this immediately reminds me of human culture for the last 6,000 years - it has just been brutal, brutal, brutal and I keep hearing about you know... We just don't know how we're going to find the solution to war.  We don't know how to solve the rape thing.  We don't know how to get rid of murder.  It's been with us forever; it must be in our genetics.  It's survival of the fittest; and that's just the way it is and there's no way out.

"And then I think "What about the Bonobos?"  What about the Bonobos?  The scientists and the politicians and society at large don't really want to hear about the Bonobos because first and foremost, you can't really document their lives without documenting sex.  Because they're having sex all the time!  How are we going to do a documentary about these creatures because they won't stop having sex long enough for us to film them?

 

"The other thing is that when the scientists - one of the leading primatologists who studies Bonobos is Frans de Waal.  Frans de Waal takes this information to the scientists and they're like "What's wrong with those male monkeys?"  They're not really monkeys but anyway that was a quote from somebody.  What's wrong with them that they let these women dominate them?

"The idea that women would have power and the idea that society could be founded around sexual bonding is so taboo for the world right now that we would literally omit, to my knowledge, the one cultural example of true peace on this planet.  That's why I find them fascinating.  I find them fascinating because I think it's amazing that we're not hearing about them.  You would think this would be big news.  "Hey, somebody found a solution!  No rape!  No murder!  No war!"  "How did they do it?"    "Get lots of sex."

 

"Yeah!  Well, that is how they do it.  I mean, it's really two-fold.  It's respect for the feminine because we're not talking about a matriarchy here.  We are not talking about females who dominate males.  What we're talking about is a balance.  It's an egalitarian structure which accords respect to both genders and allows everybody an equal voice in decision-making."

 

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Love it or hate it, feminism has left its mark on society in a huge way. Some changes have been more positive than others although we don't all agree on what has been positive and what has been negative. Check out my recent keynote in Seattle which explains where I believe the feminist movement went wrong and how we can correct it!

 

Curious about the sex industry and the internet? Want to know more about the obstacles to decriminalization? Then you will enjoy this interview series!

 

If you work with the media, you will find these tips about television, radio, print and online interviews very helpful too!

 

I am the subject of a documentary on The Women's Entertainment Network (We tv): The Secrets Lives of Women. This television show broaches a familiar topic in a revolutionary way, expanding the conversation about domestic violence to address violence perpetrated by women. You can view a clip online now. 

 

And if you haven't already viewed the now infamous CNBC documentary, Dirty Money: The Business of High End Prostitution, you can still watch it online!

Veronica on the Air

Veronica in Print

   

 

Orgasms: Art and Psyche is a collaboration between myself, famous Stanford psychologist Dr. Zimbardo and a young San Francisco artist by the name of Nikita Duncan! Every page of Orgasms: Art and Psyche exposes you to visual and textual concepts which expand and push at the borders of sex positivism and artistic expression. Your personal copy is waiting for you. Get your copy now!

 

Courtesans at the Opera starring Karen Slack:  "People think of courtesans as a deprecated profession but it is really about being adored and respected." Read the rest of this newspaper article . . . 

 

Couples Coach Reveals Secret Past . . .Read newspaper article . . .

How Our Fear of Sex is Destroying the Planet Is it?click here 

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Sex Secrets of Escorts gets rave reviews . . .  

Dear Veronica,

My boyfriend Jan and I had the most wonderful Valentine's weekend ever - thanks to you. I had the pleasure of reading your book several years ago. Little did I know that it would change my life. When I gave it to Jan (whom I met 2 years ago), it became
a real eye-opener for him (as it was for me) and now we have the best sex ever: adventurous, playful, shame-free, spiritual. It is simply fantastic!

 

In all our former relationships, we never experienced such a rich, sensual, awe-inspiring sexuality. I dare say that it's a miracle. I thought you might like to hear that your book still has an enormous impact. Thank you ever so much for sharing your experiences and your wisdom.

Best regards from Germany,
Tatjana

 

PS: Your book truly has been a boost to our love life and I just love it when my wonderful lover Jan reads aloud from it.

(February 2010)

 

 

 

 

 

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