Shekhina
 
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The Wealthy Woodpecker
Providing You with an Holistic Approach to Sex and Spirit
January 2010
Hello!

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in this issue
3 Things You Need to Know if You are in a Relationship
Plan a Couples Weekend in Gold Country
Watch the New Domestic Violence Documentary
Listen to Ghost Stories
Get Your Copy of the New Orgasm Book
Discover if Your Partner is Adventurous or Habitual
Laugh with the Sexploring Comic
Find a Virgin for a Reality TV Program
Buy a DVD
Tell Me How You Feel About ZPG
Claim Your Discount Coupon for Slow Sex Intimacy Immersion in Cancun
winter 2009 headshot    
Finding Balance and Focus in 2010
 
January is already coming to a close and February is just around the corner. So far I have been impressed with my level of resistance to positive change. The things we want in life often elude us not so much because they are impossible or even difficult but because something in our subconscious sabotages our best efforts.
 
I am resolved to transcend several such barriers this year and it is going to take determination and resilience. A self-starter like me doesn't balk at hard work but the part I DO have trouble with is the other side of that equation: play and rest.
 
In order to create an opening for play and rest, I will need to achieve more focus. But on the other hand, I probably won't achieve the focus I desire until I balance my hard work with more play and rest.  Kind of a catch 22.
 
If you are already giving up on some of your "New Year's Resolutions" (presuming you had any going into 2010), you might want to slow down and ask yourself what you really need right now. I have found that aspect of myself which sabotages me is actually pretty easy to get along with IF I show up with compassion and patience.
 
For my part, I am cutting my work days by one third. That means instead of 12 hour days I am putting in 8 hour days. Those other four hours just got redistributed for long hikes in my forest and watching movies - two of my favorite ways to play and relax.
 
How will you find your balance and focus this year?
 
 
PS: This month's newsletter contains sexual humor on YouTube, a chance to star in a Reality TV show and a sex survey sure to spark a heated conversation and hopefully more with your sexual partner. Read on!
Erotic Evolution
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Three Things You Need to Know if You are in a Relationship: What They Should Have Told You in High School and College!
 
Whether you are Married, Engaged, Living Together or still thinking about it, your relationship is the single most important aspect of your life and yet you like so many of us probably didn't get much in the way of an education about HOW to have a happy relationship.

This article contains a summary of three of the most vital contributors toward long-term success in your relationship. If you want to know more after reading this article, please contact me to schedule your telephone appointment.

1. A happy home Does not just happen-you have to work for it.

Sure,  your grandparents might have made it look easy but times have changed and so have the expectations of most couples. While simply keeping a home and raising the children was enough in days gone by, the modern couple wants to experience emotional intimacy and fulfillment. Our relationships can last a long time too due to increasing life-spans. Combine that with the fact that society is moving at an ever faster pace and you need to have a plan for coping with changing needs, desires and lifestyles.

2. Never begin a sentence with the word "you."

Try this experiment: start a sentence with the word "You" and then change the sentence so it begins with the world "I." Can you feel a shift in your energy? When we start a sentence with the word "You" our partner has a really hard time hearing us because they are too focused on how they are going to "defend" themselves from what sounds like an accusation. Learn to begin all your sentences with the word "I."

3. Share your feelings or lose your love life

We all find ourselves choking back what we really feel in an effort to avoid conflict. It's a natural response and if we ever thought to be honest we have probably been taught to "say nothing if you can't say something nice." That's pretty good advice when it comes to superficial friendships and co-workers and especially a boss or a teacher. But it is a lousy way to conduct a long-term romantic relationship. What usually happens is that the few times you are honest with your partner leads to a big fight and from then on you decide "it isn't worth an argument.."  That's a reasonable conclusion-after all who wants to argue?  But it has an unexpected side effect. 

Your passion is directly tied to how authentic you think you can be with your partner. This is the REAL reason men and women have affairs. They are not bored or restless. Instead, they crave someone they can tell their secrets and more importantly feel understood and appreciated. When you stop telling the truth to your partner, you in effect kill your sex life.  Maybe not today or tomorrow, but eventually you will find yourself wondering what happened to the passion. This is such a common event most people think it is inevitable.  But I am here to tell you that your sex life should be getting hotter with each passing year. If it isn't then you are missing out on one of the sweetest rewards of a long-term relationship.

I know you still don't want to argue.  You don't have to. But you DO need to know how to Problem Solve. I can teach you how.

Veronica in Person
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 Nevada City Broad Street
Plan a Couples Weekend to Gold Country!
 
Check out this front page article in The Union which promotes my services as a Couples Consultant while announcing the We TV documentary about domestic violence which just aired! You will also want to read my blog for We Tv. Just click here!
 
As a Couples Consultant I teach specific techniques and tools for improved communication, successful problem solving, anger management and sacred sexuality. Whether you are married, living together, straight, gay, lesbian or undecided you will find solutions to some of the most entrenched problems couples face. 
 
Your couples session will take place in my new office space in a lovely Victorian office complex set among towering pines in the quaint mining town of Nevada City, CA.  If you have never visited Nevada City you are in for a treat! 
 
The little town exudes an old west ambiance mixed with upscale California standards in both accommodations and cuisine.  I personally recommend dining at The New Moon Cafe.  And my favorite Bed and Breakfast is Emma Nevada House (it's where the film crew from CNBC shot my guest appearance on the now infamous documentary which aired this year).
 
This will come as good news for those of you who don't feel the telephone adequately addresses your needs.  Some conversations simply work better face to face.  Call 888.903.0050 or email to schedule your in-person appointment now.
Veronica on TV
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elephant mother and baby 
Domestic Violence and High End Escorts
 
I am the subject of a new documentary on The Women's Entertainment Network (We tv). The show, The Secrets Lives of Women, features both my ex-husband and me, and no, the topic is NOT high end escorting. 

This television show broaches a familiar topic in a revolutionary way, expanding the conversation about domestic violence to address violence perpetrated by women. you can view a clip online now. Please email me with your comments after you view this important episode. 
 
And if you haven't already viewed the now infamous CNBC documentary, Dirty Money: The Business of High End Prostitution, you can still watch it online!
Veronica on the Air
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 podcast background
The Shame Free Zone Podcast
 
Check out a sample of the cool topics on my podcast website:  
 
True life Ghost Stories from a Tantra Cop
Conscious Birth Concepts
Erotic Poetry set to Haunting Music 
Tips from a Federal Agent on How to Tell if Your Partner is Having an Affair
Selling Sex
Dating Dilemmas
Creating World Peace
 
 
The Shame Free Zone Internet Radio
  
When:   Mondays at 9PM Pacific Time
Where:  http://adult.bbsradio.com/bbssolutions/Veronica_Monet/
          
Be sure to check out the archives  where you can find interviews of sex celebrities and experts such as master storyteller Cosi Fabian and the incomparable Annie Sprinkle.
 
Veronica in Print
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Phil, Nikita and VeronicaPhil, Nikita and Veronica 
 
Orgasms: Art and Psyche
is a collaboration between myself, famous Stanford psychologist Dr. Zimbardo and a young San Francisco artist by the name of Nikita Duncan! Every page of Orgasms: Art and Psyche exposes you to visual and textual concepts which expand and push at the borders of sex positivism and artistic expression.
Your personal copy is waiting for you. Simply click here to claim it!
 
Couples Coach Reveals Secret Past . . .
She admits freely, she has been both a survivor and a perpetrator of domestic abuse. 
 
 
Keeping Love Alive? How about Making Love Grow!
The secret to long-term happiness in the context of any relationship, whether married or not, lies in three crucial factors: 
 
Star Whores ". . . courtesans were often accused of witchcraft around that time - another reminder that strong, independent women can be frightening to many people." 
 
Too Fat to Love?
". . . women are also visual creatures and we are sexually stimulated by what we see and we have a right to ask our partners to gift us with good grooming and  . . ."  

Three Tips for Dating a Wealthy Man " . . . all relationships have some economic dimension to them . . .'" Discover those 3 tips here 

 
How Our Fear of Sex is Destroying the Planet Because of cultur­al training and persistent taboos, the key to our survival eludes us.
  
Just click here then scroll to The Reading Room where you will see my smiling face inviting you to explore how our fear of sex is messing things up here on planet earth - and of course how I recommend we fix it!
  
Read this short piece I wrote for HappyHer.com about Sex and Spirit right now.
 
Or check out a short article I wrote about Sex and Global Warming by clicking here.
 
Leica Meliton interviewed me for this article for Beauty News.
 
And of course if you haven't picked up your personal copy of my book, Sex Secrets of Escorts (Alpha Books 2005), the best price is on Amazon.com. If you DO have a copy, please consider writing a review for it on Amazon or your personal blog.  Check out this review from Tracy over at HappyHer.com.
 
Maybe you wonder WHY I wrote another sex manual?  I tell you all about it in this YouTube video!
Readers Respond
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Free Sexuality Test: Is Your Partner Adventurous or Habitual? Are You?  
 

I have a PhD in clinical psychology and am an ASSECT certified sex therapist with a private practice where I see many couples with sexual related problems.  I have found that the communication between couples on their sexual needs and desires is very poor, which prompted me to develop the Beiter Sexuality Preference Indicator [BSPI©].  The BSPI©helps individuals and couples gain insight and understanding into the ways they define and experience their sexuality.  It provides a way to openly communicate without bias or judgment to facilitate a healthy dialogue around one's sexuality. The survey includes a "result" based on 4 sets of preferences (Dominant vs Submissive, Adventurous vs Habitual, etc.) which can be used for a discussion.

 

I am in the data collection phase at www.bspitest.com for a book on understanding The Psychology of your Sexuality and am in the process of trying to collect 100,000 data points; I have accumulated very interesting data to date which I have started to share via various media.  

 

I would like to invite you to take my survey and offer your input.  Thank you for your consideration.

 

John W.Beiter, Ph.D.

Readers Respond
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Sexploring Comic 

 

Caitlin Durante is an aspiring writer and comedian who uses sex as a common theme in her material because, as they always say, "write what you know!"

 

Click here for this month's laugh!

Readers Respond ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are You a Virgin? Want to be a Reality TV Star?
 

Sex Surrogate and Tantra Educator, Mare Simone, was invited to be a surrogate/teacher in "The Virgin School" reality show that is being produced by a prominent production company with offices in Britain and LA called Firecracker Films.  They won awards with a similar documentary that was produced in Europe a few years ago.  They handled this delicate subject with much dignity and respect.

 

The tone of the show will be serious, non-exploitative and research oriented.  

 

Seeking 2 more adult virgins preferably in their 30's + who are willing to be on TV with this project.  Those selected would have the good fortune of working with Mare and a female therapist over a significant period of time to document the process.  And there is a decent budget for this project so that's another plus!

 

Please respond by email if you are interested and qualify or KNOW SOMEONE who is.  Include a brief essay stating why you would be interested and enclose a head shot if possible.

 
Where Sex and Spirit Come Together
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Erotic Diaries small                                                 
                                                                          
"The biggest thing I noticed was how friendly the whole thing seemed.  A lot of porn that I have seen up till now seems to make me feel inadequate or like there is a competition going on or something. . .  it contributed to the sense of sex being a natural part of life and I also thought you were very beautiful in it." 
Adult Content: Sexually Explicit: Not for Sale to Minors.
All content conforms to Section 2257 of Title 18 of the United States Code (18 U.S.C. § 2257 and 28 C.F.R. 75) 
 
Lecture Label
The Stanford DVD 2005
Did Veronica really model a strap-on for the mostly Christian virgin students at Stanford?  Get this DVD and find out!  
Order Veronica's Lecture DVD now!  
Shekhina
Amazon Short Series: Veronica's White Trash Confessions
Strictly for readers who want the raw reality associated with recovery.  If you are having a tough time or just dealing with painful memories you may find comfort in my catharsis.  Click here to order for only 49 cents, if you dare.
Zero Population Movie Poster 
Make a Difference
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A Controversial and Sensitive Topic: Slowing Population Growth
 
It is unfortunate that this topic has been championed by both racists and mysoginists. However, as we edge ever closer to a world population which simply cannot be sustained by Mother Earth, we must begin a dialog about sensible family planning and birth control. Research indicates that it is not so much the availibilty of contraception which limits the size of families but cultural norms regarding number of children desired. In other words regardless of the methods used, once men and women agree on how many children they want, they are likely to conform to their own expectations.
 
One exception to this is what some term a fatalistic approach which abdicates personal responsiblity for one's procreation and attributes the number of children brought into the world to "God's will." But believe it or not, television soap operas modeling family planning have been extremely successful in shifting cultural norms and reducing family size.
 
If you have any interest in slowing population growth and thereby ensuring that future generations will enjoy a planet which contains a diversity of life forms, adequate resources and at least some open spaces, I invite you to read further about this important topic. I predict it will be a topic of frequent discussion in the very near future.
Affiliates Corner
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tropical paradise cancun
Are You Ready for a Romantic Getaway to a Tropical Paradise?  How about a Slow Sex Retreat? See below for Your Special 5% Discount from Veronica Monet!
 
A Valentine's Intimacy Immersion
ME Cancun Resort: Feb 12 - Feb 16, 2010
Escape to the luxurious ME Cancun resort this Valentine's Day and join Nicole Daedone, founder of OneTaste, in an exploration of Slow Sex - the new path to intimacy. Discover the depth of connection possible for you and your partner. Through lectures, experiential exercises and mindful sexuality practices, feel more deeply into your life and explore the world of your desires. Return home with enlivened energy, insight and more play in your relationship.
Open to singles and couples. $700/person.
Slow Sex is a doorway into what we all really want-to experience real intimacy, to understand the things that matter to us, and to discover our power through heeding the call of our true desires. It is about bringing mindfulness into our sexuality and feeling more - more of our partner, more in our bodies, and more of life. Come join us for four days in paradise and create the turned on future of your dreams.
 
Use the coupon code monet1 to get 5% off the cost of the retreat!
 
Click here to book your slow sex trip to paradise! Be sure to get your 5% discount with this coupon code: monet1 
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More resources:  Whether you wish to shop for sex toys in a woman friendly environment or you crave a romantic getaway, you are sure to find something below to pique your interest.
 
        A&E LimoTantraNova        A&E Limo Holistic Wisdom
Quick Links...
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My Websites
 
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Contact Information
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 A&E LimoVeronica Monet is a Certified Sexologist, Conflict Resolution Specialist and Relationship Expert. Begin Your Erotic Evolution today!
 
phone:         888.903.0050
cell phone:    415.407.2932
fax:             415.294.5069
 
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