Your Opportunities Await . . . Even Your First Time on TV

How to Look and Feel Good in Your Skin by Marci Bowman

I'm a personal fitness trainer, so when I began reading Veronica Monet's book, Sex Secrets of Escorts, I had other things in mind than contemplating my business- after all, what does exercise have to do with eroticism? Not far into its pages, I felt I had found a sister of sorts. I love Ms. Monet's sex-positive views and advice. Nevertheless, the strange thing was that many of her topics resonated with me on a career level. I continued thinking of certain lines, which led me back to my original question: What do they have in common?

The answer: Confidence affects - and is affected by- both of them.

"First and foremost, we are all individuals, and this is no less the case when it comes to the male body," writes Ms. Monet. Amen to that. Each of us is unique, but that's a fact the fitness industry often overlooks. I've seen certain approaches being touted as the best ways to get in shape, yet they're contradicting what was considered the gold-standard methods of a mere few months earlier. There are few 'shoulds' in exercise, though theories abound. The only 'shoulds' I truly believe in are: You should find safe, pleasurable, and enjoyable ways to keep your body active and healthy- and you should love yourself every step of the way.

Who can blame my clients when they come to me confused by how to get in shape? "Thanks to years of negative messages from the media and the culture, all women feel self-conscious and inadequate about their bodies." As I read Veronica's words, I pictured my clientele during our first meetings. Many were on the verge of swearing off exercise entirely if their needs and desires didn't conform to the latest fitness trend or body type. Often they just needed help to focus inward to the sometimes subtle- sometimes desperately blatant- signals their bodies were sending out. I believe that guiding my clients back to their inherent body awareness is still my most important task as a personal trainer.

Even someone as confident as Ms. Monet has had her moments of insecurity ("I was painfully aware of those parts of my body that I wanted to change."). Everyone has felt that way at least once, and for many people it's a chronic condition. I credit my current practice of Pilates, Berk Method, and Hatha and Kundalini yoga, for helping me to feel bien dans ma peau (comfortable in my skin, as the French say). I enjoy the variety- and these disciplines share a common approach, as well. They promote moving in a functional, full range-of-motion way, while focusing on the connection between body, breath, and mind. I use these practices as the basis of my personal-training sessions, but I adapt them to my individual clients' needs and preferences.

As Ms. Monet advocates, "Because most of us have been programmed to feel inadequate by media messages, you have to take a proactive approach to get past that negativity and feel sexy!" Our minds exist in our bodies- not just our brains- so using our muscles can't help but have a positive impact on our emotions and confidence. Through it all, though, we should be able to find something pleasurable in the process. No pain, no gain makes no sense. Enjoying exercise is the key to making it a lifelong habit. And that habit makes us, not the media, the masters of our bodies- call it "Confidence Tips of a Personal Trainer."

Marci Bowman is a certified personal trainer who lives and works in San Francisco. You can check out her website at form-and-function.net and email her at marcibowman@sbcglobal.net.

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A Modified KI-Breathing Technique by Bobbie Sellers

I am not a qualified teacher of KI breathing but someone who was introduced to KI or Chi Breathing techniques by my psychologist Dr. Richard Weiser.

I was depressed and anxious at the time and a good deal younger about 35 years ago. To Weiser I presented an apparently ideal candidate for the use of KI breathing to attain what is called in the practice of KI breathing, mind-body unification, due to my ability to concentrate. KI breathing is an ancient practice brought forward to the present day by a Japanese man who learned it in response to his ill heath in youth.

He managed to survive WW II as a Japanese Army Officer serving in China and brought many of his assigned men home as well and he credits his practice with this result. The Shinto religion of Japan was responsible for the survival to this day of KI breathing practice but it is unnecessary to believe in that religion, and you shouldn't unless you are Japanese. Though it is an interesting religion and different from many others in certain ways. Dr.Weiser was a student of Japanese culture and his way to KI led through his pursuit of Japanese flower arranging.

The students such as myself got up early (for city life) and proceeded to the place of study 2 or 3 times per week & in addition we were expected to practice as often as possible and I did so as I was confronting immense personal problems or so they appeared at the time. Dr.Weiser provided sound cues by clapping his hands - a signal for the beginning of each exhalation and inhalation.

We sat with our eyes closed facing south in a pleasant carpeted room behind an open window. Not everyone was happy with the results because some people take their imaginations more seriously than others and think that they are having visions at some point in the training. For me this was no problem as I have always been able to entertain the more bizarre productions of my mind as just that, i.e. mental projections of no consequence to the real world.

There are two parts of the practice: Mental in which visualization of the inflow of KI energy particles into and out of the body is done and Physical in which the breath is controlled, certain sounds are made in the course of inhalation and exhalation and posture. KI is assumed to be the fundamental energy of of the universe of which all things are composed. The visualization of KI energy particles is of the particles as it were of light entering during inhalation and exiting during exhalation, the center of gravity of the body about 2 inches below & behind the navel. When the breathing exercise and visualization is done on a regular basis at the end of a session the the body may be visualized as being filled with light.

The traditional seiza position with the legs folded under the body is nearly impossible for most of us, non-Japanese sitters, so just maintain an erect position where you are free to move at the hips. This can be done while walking, standing or sitting up in a straight-backed chair with a flat seat. You should not try to lean against the back of the chair at any time.

Once you are in a sitting position, breathe out slowly through your mouth making an extended "ah" sound with your throat not your vocal cords. As you finish your exhalation bend forward at the hips very slightly. Now close your mouth and inhale slowly through your nose listening to the sound the air makes through your nose. Use the smoothness of the sound as a key to your success with the breath control.

I cannot properly characterize the sound except as that of the air moving through your nose. Don't try to force your inhalation or exhalation and remember that if you have exhaled fully the pressure of earth atmosphere will do its best to fill your lungs, as the pressure of the KI in the universe will do it's best to fill you with freshly cleaned (as it were) KI. And when you have fully inhaled the pressure of the atmosphere on the chest and the pressure of the air in your lungs will assist you to breath out.

While breathing don't forget the visualization of KI as particles of light entering and exiting your body through the center of gravity. I suggest keeping your eyes half open if doing the exercise alone and trying to make each inhalation and exhalation last about 10 seconds, to begin with and not to try to go much beyond 15 seconds. There are some computer programs that can be adapted to give sound cues every so often to aid you with this. Other wise you should put a large watch or clock with a sweep second hand where you can easily see it in your line of sight as you sit. Try doing this for 20 to 30 minutes in the mornings. You may be pleasantly surprised by the results.