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The Wealthy Woodpecker Providing You with an Holistic Approach to Sex and Spirit
February 2009 Hello!
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Persistence, Progress and Positive Passion
Sorry to be delivering your February newsletter in March. I was experiencing technical difficulties with my internet service, but all is well now. It seems to be a theme for most of us right now: We are experiencing Temporary Technical Difficulties. I have faith that we will not only resolve those difficulties but find ourselves reoriented toward a much more positive and life affirming path when all is said and done. The hard part right now is embracing the change.
There are specific steps we can all take to safeguard our sanity and create positive change. Daily Affirmations, Visualization and Meditation will keep you focused on what you want instead of what you fear. Taking small but steady actions will empower you with some sense of control over your future. For instance, now is a good time to document ALL your expenses and determine which ones should be deleted or modified as part of a revised Spending Plan. And to find out if you qualify for help as a homeowner: Visit the website (still under construction as of today) or call 888.995.HOPE.
One Day at a Time should be your mantra now more than ever. Be sure to live each day to its fullest and stay in the moment as much as possible (while making progress on your plans for the future of course). Yes, it is a balancing act. But I know you can do it if you aren't afraid to ask for help. And that may end up being the biggest change we all experience - the humility to ask for help.
For a positive outlook on the future, be sure to tune into my radio program tonight when Intuitive Astrologer, Albert Clayton Gaulden will share his humorous and upbeat predictions for tomorrow. The show starts tonight (March 5) at 8PM Pacific Time. You can Twitter your comments and questions too!
And finally don't forget that I have made this newsletter more interactive. Check out the new section entitled Readers Respond. If you find any of the subject matter in this newsletter compelling enough to write a response, then please email me. I will post several excerpts in next months' newsletter. The feature article located in the Erotic Evolution section will also appear in my blog so you may post at length there too.
I hope you will take stock of your many blessings and in so doing find a multitude of reasons to celebrate. A Gratitude List is good for that! |
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Veronica in Person
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Yale University: Sex Sells but Should We Sell Sex?
I want to thank the students of The Rebellious Lawyering Conference at Yale University for hosting me at this year's conference. I had a wonderful time and look forward to my next visit.
A video of my 15 minute presentation entitled Your Sexual Bill of Rights is online now. The video resolution is appalling so you won't really be able to see my presentation but I am quite certain you will find it worth listening to.
You can also read my postings for Yale on this Campus Blog |
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| Veronica on TV
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Veronica on the Air
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Join Our Adult Fun Every Thursday Night!
My radio program, The Shame Free Zone, has been re-invented for the new year! It is now an Adult program where we are free to speak our minds and explore sex from every angle and every position - physical, emotional and spiritual. What do prostitutes really get paid for? How can you bring more intimacy into your relationship? What is Sacred Sex? These and many other topics are explored every week in The Shame Free Zone!
When: Thursdays at 8PM Pacific Time
Be sure to check out the archives too, where you can find interviews of sex celebrities and experts such as master storyteller Cosi Fabian and the incomparable Annie Sprinkle. Other Radio Shows
I have a lot of fun being a guest on other radio programs too. I never know what they are going to ask me and that's half the fun.
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Veronica in Print
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As an author I love offering you a variety of reading options! You can click on the links below for something short and sweet or head over to Amazon.com to order my book and/or short stories.
Just click here then scroll to The Reading Room where you will see my smiling face inviting you to explore how our fear of sex is messing things up here on planet earth - and of course how I recommend we fix it!
Or check out a short article I wrote about Sex and Global Warming by clicking here.This online article in The Naughty American is fun and informative and I enjoyed interviewing for it. You might find some of the anecdotes more than amusing.
Leica Meliton interviewed me for this article for Beauty News.
And of course if you haven't picked up your personal copy of my book, Sex Secrets of Escorts (Alpha Books 2005), the best price is on Amazon.com. If you DO have a copy, please consider writing a review for it on Amazon or your personal blog. Check out this review from Tracy over at HappyHer.com. |
Erotic Evolution
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What DO Women Want Anyway?
The New York Times ran an article on January 22nd about monkey porn and female desire based upon recent research by Queen's University psychology professor, Meredith Chivers. Actually the porn in question featured bonobos which are a species of ape - not a monkey. [Scroll to the bottom of this newsletter for more information and links about bonobos.] But whatever you call this animal, the research revealed that female humans find it a turn-on to watch them have sex.
Arousal was measured both objectively and subjectively so in addition to measuring the genitals for signs of sexual arousal, each subject reported what they found stimulating and what was a turn-off. Amazingly, male respondents were quite accurate about their self-described turn-ons. In other words the genitals and brains of men seem to be in agreement when it comes to sexual arousal.
However, women reported being bored or turned off while their genitals were experiencing increased sexual arousal. Although both straight and lesbian women claimed that bonobo mating did NOT arouse them, their genitals DID become aroused. In fact the only visual stimulus which failed to create much sexual stimulation in women was the image of a man strolling. The majority of female subjects experienced marked sexual arousal when presented with images of gay sex, lesbian sex, heterosexual sex and bonobo sex.
It would seem that women are indeed very sexually responsive. And of course that begs the question, why are women convinced that they are NOT turned on when they are?
What exactly do these findings suggest? Well the various scientists researching this topic seem preoccupied with hormonal and evolutionary explanations. There may be some merit to these approaches but it is suspect given that most research is funded by companies hoping to obtain patents. Patents are granted for pharmaceutical and genetic "cures." Historical and cultural perspectives are ignored in money motivated science.
I believe this disconnect between women's perceptions about their sexual desire and their genital response can be easily explained by the Whore/Madonna Complex. We may have considered electing a female president a few months ago, but Western culture is still firmly framed by the sexual double standard. How can women be honest with themselves about their sexual desires when there still exist so many harsh penalties for women who step out of the bounds of sexual propriety?
As a former escort, I am personally acquainted with the price to be paid for failing to live up to the Madonna ideal. Whores may go everywhere (and have a ton of fun doing it!) but they also get evicted and go to jail. So of course it is safer for women to convince themselves they have a reduced libido. In fact our culture supports the myth that women are not as sexually responsive as men. This recent research suggests otherwise of course.
But will the researchers and the public get it? Women love sex. But sex is a mostly dangerous proposition for women. Until we remove the double standard and start embracing women as the sexual creatures they are, women will continue to deny their own libido because it is an intelligent decision based upon the current cultural climate.
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| Readers' Respond:
One Client Shares His Feelings About Our Telephone Sessions
Like Counseling?
"I actually consider the service I pay you for as COUNSELING. (Yes - I said 'counseling.') The reason I utilize you is that with your experience and expertise, and your specialization as a sex educator, I feel that I can process some of my issues, which as I 'm sure you can appreciate are not often well received in mainstream mental health circles. There are a lot of preconceived ideas about the adult entertainment industry, in ALL of its incarnations, and people in health services tend to project their own values onto it without actually having experienced actual people who engage in the industry. I'm comfortable being honest with you about my curiosity, fantasies, and consider the information to be relatively accurate and valuable.
"Our consultations are helping me to normalize and validate my curiosity and interests about sex workers; especially about the idea that sex workers actually do have a therapeutic role which they fulfill for many clients who have sexual and emotional wounds. Although they would not be accepted as such by the mainstream mental health and social service community, many sex workers are actually practicing in positive and normalized venues in which their clients are being therapeutically served at some level, which would be difficult for them to access in clinical therapeutic environments - mostly because of transference and counter-transference issues rooted in the prevalent sex negative values in our society. The view of sex workers by clinical professionals is in serious need of reconsideration . . ."
The above comments came from one of my clients who is a licensed therapist.
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A reader response regarding last month's article about The Big We
Hi Veronica, I think you really hit the target with this article. United We Stand, Divided We fall isn't just a worn out cliché, it's been the core factor of our survival since humans walked upright on two legs. Like minded people can create miracles and we need miracles today more than ever. Thank you for speaking up about this. I will be one of those rolling up their sleeves to do my part to create those miracles and I hope other's will be inspired to join in as well.
Happiness,
Tracy Morrow
Sexual Enhancement Specialist
www.happyher.com |
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Help and Healing for You ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Wish I Knew How to Get My Partner to . . .
How would YOU finish that sentence? Wish your partner spent more time making love with you? Do you sometimes feel as if your words fall upon deaf ears? Are you worried you may not be as sexy or good in bed as your partner wishes you were? Or do you feel misunderstood or underappreciated? Maybe everything seems OK but nothing feels really great in your relationship. When It Just Isn't Worth Having Another Argument . . .
You know that feeling. Your emotions get stuck in your throat and your stomach turns just a little. You love your partner and want to tell them the truth about your anger or sadness BUT it never goes the way you wish it would. Somehow your best intentions seem to disintegrate into yet another useless argument. So after awhile you decide to keep some things to yourself. And after awhile the sex isn't quite as good as it used to be or the two of you don't seem to have as much to say to each other anymore. And you wonder what happened? It seems to happen to all couples so it must be normal. But is it? What If You Could Fall in Love Again?
Wouldn't it be nice if your partner saw you with the same fascination and excitement that they did when you first started your romance? Remember how you use to tingle all over when your lover walked into the room? What if you could get those good feelings back? Relationship Repair I can teach you very specific techniques to Repair, Renew and Rebirth your Relationship. There isn't anything particularly complicated about the process. It just takes knowledge, practice and a certain amount of mentoring from someone who has been there. The good news is that you don't have to choose between having the same argument over and over again or keeping your feelings to yourself. You really CAN communicate your deepest desires and most vulnerable fears to your partner in a way which Creates Compassion and Connection. The unexpected Bonus? Your Sex Life will thank you. You do NOT Have to Settle. You Deserve to Enjoy Love to the Fullest. If You are Ready for Real Change in Your Relationship I Can Help You Make It Happen! Why Not Start Your Erotic Evolution Today? My office hours are 10AM to 10PM Pacific Time Monday through Friday.
Call me toll free at 888.903.0050. |
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Where Sex and Spirit Come Together
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Veronica Monet's Erotic Diaries 1993 to 2006
This x-rated compilation of two videos and two slide shows in one DVD includes Real Women . . . Real Fantasies, recipient of the May 2001 San Francisco Sex Worker Film & Video Festival SINEMA AWARD. Dubbed "a groundbreaker in the feminization of porn" by Playboy magazine, it includes the x-rated debut of the infamous Mistress Ilsa Strix.
Here is what one customer had to say about this unique adult DVD:
"The biggest thing I noticed was how friendly the whole thing seemed. A lot of porn that I have seen up till now seems to make me feel inadequate or like there is a competition going on or something. This was more like a group of friends masturbating together and sharing their fantasies. One thing that I was surprised by was the slide show with your disabled friend. I thought it would not appeal to me at all, but it contributed to the sense of sex being a natural part of life and I also thought you were very beautiful in it."
Adult Content: Sexually Explicit: Not for Sale to Minors.
All content conforms to Section 2257 of Title 18 of the United States Code (18 U.S.C. § 2257 and 28 C.F.R. 75)
The Stanford DVD 2005
Did Veronica really model a strap-on for the mostly Christian virgin students at Stanford? Get this DVD and find out!
Order Veronica's Lecture DVD now!
Amazon Short Series: Veronica's White Trash Confessions
Strictly for readers who want the raw reality associated with recovery. If you are having a tough time or just dealing with painful memories you may find comfort in my catharsis.
Click here to order for only 49 cents, if you dare. |
Make a Difference ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Playful, Peaceful and Promiscuous!
If you have attended any of my lectures or workshops you have no doubt heard me speak about our closest living relative, the bonobo. Although bonobos look a lot like chimpanzees, they couldn't be more different. Bonobos spend a lot of time standing on two feet like humans and they also enjoy face to face lovemaking with lots of eye gazing and tongue kissing. Their societies are matrifocal so the wisdom of the grandmothers is honored and respected while males still compete for dominance among themselves. The most amazing aspect of bonobo culture is that they have replaced most forms of violence with lots of sex!
Unfortunately, there is only one place on earth where the bonobos live in the wild - the war torn Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC). Needless to say, the peaceful bonobos are endangered and need all the help they can get to remain living role models of peaceful co-existence. If you would like to help, please make a contribution to the Bonobo Conservation Initiative (BCI) or consider adopting a baby bonobo!
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Affiliates Corner
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These are quality resources I think you may enjoy exploring. Whether you wish to shop for sex toys in a woman friendly environment or you crave a romantic getaway, you are sure to find something to pique your interest.
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Veronica Monet is a Certified Sexologist, Conflict Resolution Specialist and Relationship Expert. Find out what she can do for you with a phone call or email today!