One of the most important functions of your estate plan is to determine who should act as the guardian for your children should you die.
The guardians you choose will be responsible for your children's health, education, physical care and welfare until your children are 18. This not only includes providing the basic needs such as food, clothing, shelter and making health care decisions, but also providing love and affection as well as social and emotional guidance. The person or people you nominate as guardians must be individuals in whom you have complete confidence.
To assist you in making a decision as to who you should select as a guardian for your children we have compiled the following seven factors.
1. What is the proposed guardian's relationship with your children?
Although this may be a no-brainer, you should really think about this factor. Before making a decision, observe how your proposed guardian interacts with your children. Do their actions actually demonstrate that they love your children? Are your children willing to talk with your proposed guardian? Do your children want to share what's happening in their children's lives with your proposed guardian? Does is appear that your children actually like the person you are proposing to act as a guardian?
2. What is your proposed guardian's relationship with their own family?
You need to consider the relationships your proposed guardian has with those close to them as those relationships can affect your children. For example, is your proposed guardian in a stable marriage and do your children like the individual your proposed guardian is in a relationship with?
You should consider the number of children your proposed guardian has as well as the relationship of your proposed guardian's children with your own children.
Also, consider the method your proposed guardian communicates with their family. Understand and consider that your proposed guardian may communicate differently with their own family behind closed doors than they do in public.
Are you related to your proposed guardian by blood, marriage or not at all? One of the functions of your proposed guardian is to facilitate a relationship between your children and your extended family. How your proposed guardian is related to you may affect your proposed guardian's ability or willingness to continue that relationship. For example, if your proposed guardian is not related to you at all, it may be difficult for your proposed guardian to spend holidays with your extended relatives as they probably have their own holiday traditions.
Finally, consider whether or not you would want to live with this person.
3. What are your proposed guardian's religious beliefs and practices?
If you should die, your appointed guardian will greatly influence your children's values, ethics, spiritual and moral beliefs. You must determine the importance of whether you and you proposed guardian's religious practices are similiar as well as the importance of whether your proposed guardian attends church as regularly as you.
4. What are your proposed guardian's child rearing techniques?
Do you know what your proposed guardian's views are on child discipline, education, family rules, rewards, and work? Are they similar to your own views? You should have a conversation with your proposed guardian to discuss your proposed guardian's beliefs and practices. Through such a conversation you may be able to determine whether your proposed guardian's parenting style is consistent with your own.
You may also want to consider your children's interests. Does your proposed guardian enjoy the same activities as your children? Will your proposed guardian be able and willing to encourage and work with your children allowing them to continue the activities your children presently enjoy?
5. Is your proposed guardian able to raise your children?
Your proposed guardian must be at least 18 years old to meet the legal requirements of a guardian. Aside from the legal requirements, you should also consider the physical strain of raising children and whether your proposed guardian is up to the task. This includes a consideration of any medical condition that may restrict or prevent your proposed guardian from being able to care for your children.
What is your proposed guardian's housing situation? My wife and I are blessed to have five wonderful children. Asking someone who has a one or two bedroom house or who drives a Volkswagen Bug to act as our children's proposed guardian would be unfair. You may also want to consider whether your proposed guardian has a yard for your children to run around and play in.
Does your guardian have the time necessary to raise your children? You may want to consider the type of job your proposed guardian has as well as how much time the job requires. You need to determine how much your children's daily lives are going to change.
6. Where does your proposed guardian live?
You may want to consider whether or not you want your children to live near their family and friends, stay within the school district, State of Minnesota or even within this country.
7. Does your proposed guardian want to act as guardian for your children?
Once you narrow your list, be sure to talk to the people you would like to nominate to serve as guardians to determine how they'd feel about being named a guardian of your children. Your conversation may reveal feelings and attitudes that will help you make your decision easier.
We strongly encourage you to name at least three successor guardians or three co-guardian pairs for your children in case circumstances change and/or the person who is your first choice is unable to accept the responsibility to serve as guardians. If you choose a couple, make sure to consider what is to occur if the couple divorces or, because of death or incapacity, only one member of the couple can act as a guardian for your children.
Remember that it is important that you and your spouse agree on your choice. Any disagreement may cause discord later among your family, guardians and/or your children.
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